Have you ever known a married couple that seem to spend their lives bitching and fighting, sleeping in separate beds and going weeks without talking. But they are lovely to their children and grandchildren and others.
Yet they still stay together. I guess they are comfortable with their lives on the balance of things.
Should you tell them the trutheven if it kills them?
by The wanderer 21 Replies latest jw friends
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bigmouth
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jayhawk1
My next door neighbor is an elderly JW and I would never dream of confronting the religion with her. It is her life and her friends. I suspect the older one gets the more doubt there is about the religion anyway. But after so many years, like they say, "Where else would she go?"
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sammielee24
Have you ever known a married couple that seem to spend their lives bitching and fighting, sleeping in separate beds and going weeks without talking. But they are lovely to their children and grandchildren and others.
Yet they still stay together. I guess they are comfortable with their lives on the balance of things.I have known couples like this and it is so very sad. The people that I've seen don't stay because they are comfortable - they've stayed because the due date has passed and been replaced by fear. Many people come to a cross roads in their life when leaving a destructive relationship becomes a real and necessary possibility but when faced with the reality that the decision to leave means taking action, well fear takes over their logic, hopes and dreams for themselves and they do nothing. Denial of how bad their life in creates a cover of normalcy except when they are alone. Another year passes, then another, then another until one by one the hopes disappear, the dreams have long gone and now there is no logic in leaving. Where would one go? How would they live? Who would have them? What would people think? What would my church think? The time to act was there one moment and gone the next and now there are two people that simply coexist in one house, bitter, angry and frustrated at what life dealt them - until they die. sammieswife.
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blondie
All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them
I had to discover the truth...simply just telling me was not enough. I had to be in a mental state to be open to it as well.
The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.
It is one thing to show a man that he is in error, and another to put him in possession of truth.
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startingover
Imagine a JW asking that question about a 70 year old Catholic. Personally I would want to know the truth even if it kills me, no matter what age.
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BabaYaga
As many have stated, it might do no good whatsoever. However, if you DO choose to say something to them, Dear Wanderer... plant SEEDS... pat LIGHTLY... water as needed, but never flood!!! And be gentle, ever so gentle, treading about your newly planted seeds... especially if you see one sprout.
It is difficult not to burst with a flood and fury of information now that we have found it... but it can be devastating and a huge, irreparable turn-off to those still in who hear it.
And... of course... the other deal is that if you do not tread lightly... they will shun you... and you can't relay much news that way.
Cheers to you,
Baba. -
A Paduan
An impetous for "telling" a jw involves the fact that it isn't a personal type of religion
One isn't a jw and keeps it to themselves - it is a fundamental requirement that they actively seek out potential victims
The question then becomes, "Should you leave them in peace even though they atempt to steal the lives of others"
( I must say that I'm continually amazed, after reading ex-jw stories, that potential victims don't rate a high in these threads).
Bit of a conundrum....................... being a jw is certainly punishment for being a jw.
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jaguarbass
Would it be a good idea to let them know the true
nature of the organization—even if it kills them?When the student is ready the teacher appears. If these people were in the truth for 35 years they know the truth about the truth. They are in their comfort zone. Behavior comes from within not from with out. The way to change their behavior is to get them to see the down side to being a witness which might be a pretty tall order. You'd be dealing with a lot of vauge ambiguities and intangibles. A lot of the reward of being a witness is reserved for the next life. If you have one foot in yesterday and the other in tomorrow you end up peeing all over today which is all we have. But the witnesses view living for today as being like the ancient Epicureans. They were not good people in the witnesses eyes. Myself I help anyone who ask and I observe everyone else. Most the time I am an observer 99.9/10s of the time. I am thankful I got out of the organization but freedom might not be for everyone. Henry Ford said thinking is the hardest thing for a human to do. One who leaves the watchtower would have a lot of tinking to do. They might not be up for it. I know the truth is not the truth, myself. I dont think their is a truth that is understandable to humans.The questions the witnesses pretend to answer can not be answered in my opinion. So I would not take some one from the comfort of knowing the unknowable to the reality that there are no answers only questions. This door is not for everybody.
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AK - Jeff
I can only speak from personal experience - all the rest is just personal opinion.
My mother was dying of a lung disorder when I became aware of the 'truth about the Truth'. She was 67 years old. I was queitly rejoicing about my understanding of the matter, while not saying a word to her. She had 'believed' the organization since 1959 to be the 'Truth'. She was also a long time 'inactive', never attended meetings, and was totally ignored by the congregation most of the time. She was also the most stubborn person I have ever met. Trying to wrestle the matter out of her mind at her age, health, and with her perspective seemed to be fruitless to say the least. I feared it would make her bitter if she accepted it, or angry at me in her last months if she didn't [the most likely scenario].
So my election was to leave it alone. She did not have time to gain a new lifestyle and understanding, and it would have put her view of 'eternity' in question too, at a time when she was getting less oxygen to her mind than normal to begin with, I feared the end result would have just made her totally confused, and she would have used valuable energy fighting the internal conflict.
On the other hand, if she had been in good health, she would have likely found out what I knew in bits and pieces over time. Then her health would have allowed her to make an honest evaluation. If that had been the case, I would have wanted her to know and decide even late in life. I would have felt as if I was determining her life direction for her, and that would not have been acceptable to me, no matter the costs.
Just my opinion
Jeff
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BlackSwan of Memphis
There is reason for caution, though. Yes, many older ones are essentially abandoned by the congregation,
but many depend on it for their social activity and reasons to stay active.Reminds me of many older people I have known who continue to go to church not because they believe it the way they used to, but because of this very reason, they depend on it for social activity.
So, with that in mind, if one were to plant seeds (thinking of BabaYaga's comment) it would be wise for them to consider how much time and energy they could reasonably invest. Ie if an older couple relies heavily on the congregation or jw family for certain kinds of support, ie driving them to medical facilities, helping with meals, just being a good friend and spending time visiting etc. This way, If the person responds to the seed that is being planted, they can do so with the right kind of support that they need to do so.
I have a 73 year old mother in law. Just watching her I see the lonliness and insecurity that can accompany aging. So, I suppose that is the angle I'm taking on this.