Where are you in your recovery process?

Nicolas

Hi everyone and happy new year. It's been a long time since I posted here, I've been lurking for a while too but now I would like to share my experience. I would also like to hear your experience. Some of you may be just in the beginning of the recovery process other may have moved on with their life... Personnally, I would say that my recovery is still not completed but as years goes by, it keeps getting better. I began my research about the Watchtower in 2001. Like many of you, I was still a little afraid to search on the Internet, I still had the old fear that the JW organisation taught me when I was younger. And, I didn't know that there were so much people who were going through the same process. At the beginning, you feel really alone and what you learned from the WBTS do not help you to get rid of this loneliness. It's hard to make new friends when you learned that everything from the world (outside of the organisation) is bad. Now, in 2007 I'm working as a graphist, I like my job and I have an offer for a new job in the same company I'm working now but in London. I will be quite happy if I can get this job in London even if it's only for four month as I've never visited Europe. One thing I'm still trying to cope with is my shyness and I will try to get to know as much as possible people in 2007 as a way to get rid of this shyness. Also, when I realized that everything I learned about the wbts was false, I had a lot of questions. I wanted to know if there really was a true god if what was supposed to be only true religion was false. Also, I was wondering what was the purpose of life if everyone die and then nothing happen after (in opposite to the resurrection teaching of the WBTS). But now, I don't care so much about these things, I think that the most important thing is to be happy in the present. In fact, my primary goal for life now is to be happy. As someone said (I think it was Thomas Jefferson): "If you don't agree that hapinness is the purpose of life, than you are choosing something that isn't happiness as your purpose for living".

Abandoned

Well, I'm right on schedule. I've delivered an eviction notice to that hateful jw god and I'm getting to know the real one. The one that doesn't need me to go to some special building to say thanks. One who doesn't need me to believe things I don't understand to please him. One who knows me inside and out and is not at all threatened by me following the dreams he built inside of me.

I'm pretty pleased....

searching4truth

I am still all messed up. Even though this board provides alot of encouragement I still feel very alone. I still have overwhelming feelings of helplessness because I no longer "know" that whatever I am doing is right or wrong. Everyone that I looked to for guidance in life is jw. Only my uncle and one friend are out and know my thinking on the wts, my mother knows a little bit and I have started talking with another friend a little. Everyone else just thinks I am df for fornication and will be back soon and everything will be fine. I still plan on going back for their sake and then fading. I can't sleep at night thinking about it all. I feel I have no real sense of direction. My mairrage is ending which adds to my being all messed up and lack of direction. Sometimes things seem to be getting easier but then others I think I just fooling myself. I live with the constant battle of do I think something because thats what the wts brainwashed me to think or is that how I really feel on the subject and most of the time its the brainwashing. I have had bouts of anger and bitterness, but not so much anymore. Now for the most parts I think jw are a bunch of very misguided people and thats sad. I am adjusting slowly and no trying to rush it.

Nicolas

Does anybody of you has become an atheist? Personnally, I don't know if jehovah, god or whatever you call it exist but I do know that if he exist, he's really discreet. He's so discreet that I tend to believe that he just doesn't exist.

orbison11

hi there nicolas

orbi from vancouver here

i have very recently realized i am a bit bitter,,,,from the losses i guess, from the 'what could have beens'

so i guess that is what i have to work on in 2007,

i think to let go and move on is what i have to do,,,here goes...

wendy

Scully

Salut Nicolas! Ça fait longtemps, n'est ce que pas?

I am atheist now. I'm not sure when it happened or how it happened, but that's where I am in my thinking too. I have been reading The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, and Can We Be Good Without God? by Dr. Robert Buckman - both very good reads, imo.

My favorite website regarding atheism is: www.positiveatheism.org

Nice to see you again!

helncon

You know that after 12 years of not being a JW and DF for 5 years i really think that im an athiest i don't believe in anything i think my life growing up as a JW and liturally getting it shoved down my throat that i have become neutral in who or what to believe i even haven't even explored other religions i now just want nothing to do with any religion and live my life the best way i can.

My recovery process has been a rollercoaster ride for along time, and i want to get off but life is now getting more enjoyable and i am now starting to cope better, and lately now that i have found this web site it really has put a lot of things into prospective, i thought i was the only one who felt the way i felt and now i know im not alone.

So thank you evey one!!!!!!!!

JWdaughter

25 years ago I left. I have had periods where I got my hackles up about the org. mostly when I didn't appreciate the way it affected the lives of those that I love (parents, cancer, leukemia (cousin), family skeletons, divorces, abuse, etc). I am past the flailing out hating everything bitterness towards everything and see it all a little more calmly. Blood is my bugaboo issue right now. That and the conditional 'love' seem to get my goat the most. God-pretty sure there is one. I think he won't blame me for not stating so definitively. Jesus? Probably existed, but I am seriously questioning much of what was written about him or attributed to him. Again, I think with all the contrary information-any confusion on my part is forgiven by this guy who I think is nicer than any JW elder I have ever met. And that includes if he can smite people! I dont think the Bible is inspired, though I think parts of it are inspiring, and maybe some incredibly wise person came up with (limited) parts of it. Mostly, it is too woman disrespecting for me to think that God had much to do with it as a whole. God made us too! He sounds like some woman hating mullah sometimes and I don't think God is like that. I have also concluded that for the most part religion has made God what it wants 'him' to be. I have probably done the same, but can't imagine that a God who made woman the way he did thinks she should be inferior to men in every way (and you all can argue that, but the bible is filled with non-godly misogyny.)I object to the WT specifically for what it does to my family, other families and children-organizationally and systematically.

BLISSISIGNORANCE

Well Nic...............I'm totally over the WTS and dubs. I hardly ever think about them and it, unless I see dubs or they try to talk to me about going back etc. I don't have anyone I care about left in the borg so it's easy to get on with life. By the way............hello everyone and happy 2007. Cheers Bliss

ozziepost

G'day BLISS!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Okay, back to the topic, if it weren't for family members being still "in", then the WTS would not enter my thoughts - Mrs Ozzie and I are now far too busy and our former life is just that, in the past.

Even now, the WTS is an irrelevancy to us.

heck, it's hard to remember what dub beliefs are!

Where are you in your recovery process?

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