I really think so much depends on your experiences growing up eg what your family was like, how they interpreted the 'truth', the witness mindset and culture of the day (ie, how old you are) and the witness mindset/culture of your country (I think here in Aus things aren't necessarily as extreme as, say, the US) and even your congregation. I came from quite a liberal cong - in fact it tended to be looked a bit down upon by other congs in the state because it was considered the more 'materialistic and worldly cong' (basically the brothers had nice cars, were a bit more affluent (which was also representative of the socio-economic suburb) and the young ones had a 'life' eg would go to concerts, the occasional nightclub etc).
And then it also depends on your own personality and then how you were treated as a witness - were you df'd, did you da yourself in a grand 'up yours' gesture, did you fade away, do some people still speak to you, how much family and friends do you still have on the inside etc etc etc.
My personality style is that I did a very quick fade (3 months) literally from the time my first strong doubts appeared. I then spent a whole year on the computer exploring so many different beliefs, conspiracy theories (don't go there unless you get off on paranoia), and also spent a lot of time in emotional therapy. So I did it all very quickly but VERY intensely. That was me - I don't necessarily suggest that for everyone because at times it almost killed me.
I guess it boils down to a simple analogy for most people - do you prefer to pull the bandaid off really quickly or give it a soak and take it off real slow? There is no one way that is better - just what's best for you.
And yep, I live in the present moment as much as I can. Leaving the org has given me more gratitude for life (how ironic considering they are supposed to be teaching about god?) so much so that now I can even be grateful for most of my upbringing - parents, jw, the whole lot. But then I wasn't overtly abused by it and when I read other people's experiences here I can understand their bitterness. I joined this forum a year ago, lurked for a couple of weeks, decided it was too 'negative and bitter' and, because I so didn't want to be like that, I didn't re-visit. I actually only accidentally came upon this forum again a week ago when I was deleting old sites in my 'favourites'. Had a quick look and this time I can be more objective about what I read here. Because I actually was bitter (and I knew that, I just didn't want to get stuck there) whereas now I am not.
I think we all go through the same stages, just like someone grieving death. Just we all move through each stage at a different pace and in a different time frame. All we can hold out to you is that it does get a lot better - we promise!!
