Hi I am back. Haven't posted here in a long time. 2006 was a strange year to say the least. I even went back to the JWs for a while and then quit again.
I lost my best friend to throat cancer in March 2006. We had been very close for 14 years and I was convinced that I would still be able to 'feel' him, or best case scenario, 'talk' to him after he died. Great was my disappointment when nothing happened. Nothing at all. He was gone, period. Once again I started to believe that we are really gone after we die, a bit like sleeping, just like the bible says, but then I was not sure of anything.
His passing left a huge void, and I found consolation in the words of the priest at the cemetary while we were standing in front of the casket. He said "Our true citizenship is in heaven". I started to imagine that he was not gone, he had moved to a different place where he now had true citizenship. Silly me I even talked to the JWs about it but they said that the poor priest just didn't know any better. As the months went by I was still searching for truth, knowing that I would never find it and sure enough, I didn't. I'm not going to say "I haven't", because technically this would leave room for the possibility that I could still search and perhaps find something, but I have given up at least for now.
I started to go back to the meetings over the summer, perhaps to fill the void, I don't really know why I went back. I didn't believe in all of the JW stuff anymore, but it was something to do. I was asked to go to a different kingdom hall because technically I had been going to the wrong kingdom hall all of those years, they said I lived in a district that was part of a different kingdom hall. Sure enough when I went there, many (but not all) of the people who live around this town here were now going to this other kingdom hall. Strange though that two of those people were elders in the previous KH I went to and they were no longer serving as elders. I smelled something fishy going on but couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't like the new KH so I stopped going about 3 months ago.
A week before Thanksgiving, another friend became ill. Long story short, he was in a coma and on life support within two weeks of becoming ill, he was barely being kept alive until they found out that he had been affected by a very rare but deadly illness that affects less than one in a million people. As soon as they figured it out they could give him the right medications and he is now slowly recovering. But while he was so very ill, his heart stopped beating several times and they had to use the paddles to bring him back. He is still weak and even talking seems to be difficult, but when he talks about his "near death" experience, there is suddenly a lot of passion in his voice. He is a level headed person and I have no reason to doubt what he tells people. He says he walked up the stairs. There were 13 steps and they were made of a bright white marble stone. It was very peaceful around him but he was scared. When he reached the top step he was being pulled back by an invisible force. He was never religious before but now he has become religious and he is planning on going to church when he gets all better.
Other than that 2006 was a rather uneventful year. I quit my job to start up a small farm but I didn't make enough off the farm in summer to get me through the winter, so now I am working two days a week to get something extra and pay the bills. I'm looking forward to next spring.
I hope the old timers here are all doing well and that the newer members are finding their way around after leaving the 'truth'
Cheers