back after a strange year. update

by fairchild 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • fairchild
    fairchild

    Hi I am back. Haven't posted here in a long time. 2006 was a strange year to say the least. I even went back to the JWs for a while and then quit again.

    I lost my best friend to throat cancer in March 2006. We had been very close for 14 years and I was convinced that I would still be able to 'feel' him, or best case scenario, 'talk' to him after he died. Great was my disappointment when nothing happened. Nothing at all. He was gone, period. Once again I started to believe that we are really gone after we die, a bit like sleeping, just like the bible says, but then I was not sure of anything.

    His passing left a huge void, and I found consolation in the words of the priest at the cemetary while we were standing in front of the casket. He said "Our true citizenship is in heaven". I started to imagine that he was not gone, he had moved to a different place where he now had true citizenship. Silly me I even talked to the JWs about it but they said that the poor priest just didn't know any better. As the months went by I was still searching for truth, knowing that I would never find it and sure enough, I didn't. I'm not going to say "I haven't", because technically this would leave room for the possibility that I could still search and perhaps find something, but I have given up at least for now.

    I started to go back to the meetings over the summer, perhaps to fill the void, I don't really know why I went back. I didn't believe in all of the JW stuff anymore, but it was something to do. I was asked to go to a different kingdom hall because technically I had been going to the wrong kingdom hall all of those years, they said I lived in a district that was part of a different kingdom hall. Sure enough when I went there, many (but not all) of the people who live around this town here were now going to this other kingdom hall. Strange though that two of those people were elders in the previous KH I went to and they were no longer serving as elders. I smelled something fishy going on but couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't like the new KH so I stopped going about 3 months ago.

    A week before Thanksgiving, another friend became ill. Long story short, he was in a coma and on life support within two weeks of becoming ill, he was barely being kept alive until they found out that he had been affected by a very rare but deadly illness that affects less than one in a million people. As soon as they figured it out they could give him the right medications and he is now slowly recovering. But while he was so very ill, his heart stopped beating several times and they had to use the paddles to bring him back. He is still weak and even talking seems to be difficult, but when he talks about his "near death" experience, there is suddenly a lot of passion in his voice. He is a level headed person and I have no reason to doubt what he tells people. He says he walked up the stairs. There were 13 steps and they were made of a bright white marble stone. It was very peaceful around him but he was scared. When he reached the top step he was being pulled back by an invisible force. He was never religious before but now he has become religious and he is planning on going to church when he gets all better.

    Other than that 2006 was a rather uneventful year. I quit my job to start up a small farm but I didn't make enough off the farm in summer to get me through the winter, so now I am working two days a week to get something extra and pay the bills. I'm looking forward to next spring.

    I hope the old timers here are all doing well and that the newer members are finding their way around after leaving the 'truth'

    Cheers

  • GoingGoingGone
    GoingGoingGone

    Welcome back, fairchild! I've wondered where you went!!

    So sorry for the loss of your friend... and I'm glad you didn't get sucked into the WT for good!

    I've missed ya!

    GGG

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    Awesome post, Fairchild, hugs to you after all you've been through

    Cheers and Happy New Year
    Baba

  • searching4truth
    searching4truth

    welcome back sorry to hear about your troubles

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Welcome back fairchild, I am so sorry to hear about your friend

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    Hello fairchild!

    Sorry to hear what you have been through, but very glad to see you... (((((((()))))))

  • Country_Woman
    Country_Woman

    (( Fairchild ))

    Glad you'r doing well now.

  • zensim
    zensim

    Fairchild - sorry for your loss. Sounds like you have been doing it tough.

    Don't know if this will help, but I just read it and thought of you - take from it what you will. If it doesn't serve you then happily toss it

    "You can be abandoned by everyone, and you can lose everything – except yourself. So why not look there, within you, where your only real possession, your only real certainty, can be found? Whether you are on earth or in the other world, you will never be separated from yourself. To remain master of every situation, you all have at your disposal something that cannot be taken from you by anyone or anything. And this something is yourself. In life and in death, throughout eternity, you will be with yourself. Yes, you can be sure of that. Everything else is uncertain and may slip away from you. And this ‘self’ which nothing can take away from you is your awareness of yourself as a divine spark, thus your awareness of the capacities you have received from the Creator and the opportunities you are given daily to put them to work."

  • looking_glass
    looking_glass

    Fairchild - glad to see you were able to figure out how to log back on as yourself.

    I completely understand where you are coming from. I had a very very close friend of mine die a couple months ago unexpectedly. He was my age and he died of a sudden heart attack. He was an inactive JW and there was a funeral talk for him by a JW, but it was so not comforting at all. It was the typical, the wages of sin is death and now he is in line for a resurrection, it is a celebration, I just wanted to scream at them all. It is not a celebration, it is a tragedy. He died way to young. He left a family behind. He left us behind. It also breaks my heart because his mother keeps talking about seeing him in paradise. You know for her sake, I hope she does, but I myself, do not buy into it. The worst part of it for me was this guy was the closest thing to a brother. He was not your norm, but I loved him for it and he loved me. We had a very sibling relationship, we fought, but we loved each other and had each others' back. I have a brother that is so much older than me that I don't know him, so this guy was more my brother than my fleshly brother.

    Hang in there. Find out what brings you comfort and joy and go with that. It might take a while. I am still searching. I do yoga and meditation, but I am having a hard time with my meditations because I cannot quiet my mind. So I have made an appointment with a reiki healer. I was recommended to her by a nutritionist friend. I will see how it goes and see if it helps. I am open to anything that will quiet the sounds of my breaking heart.

    Much peace to you. L_G

  • fairchild
    fairchild

    Thank you all for the comments (and for the private messages).

    It is thanks to scully's help that I was able to retrieve my fairchild account and I'm very grateful for that also. I've sporadically been in touch with Dave (almostatheist) over the past months but had pretty much lost contact with everyone else from JWD.

    "You can be abandoned by everyone, and you can lose everything – except yourself. So why not look there, within you, where your only real possession, your only real certainty, can be found? Whether you are on earth or in the other world, you will never be separated from yourself.

    You know.. I'm a true loner and don't have much contact with people at all except for a few close friends. I once read somewhere that there are only 9 months of your whole life that you're not truly alone. I've never been lonely and I can't imagine the feeling, but I do feel the void of where a close friend used to be. And from experience I know that it changes one's life forever. Only time will make it easier and I must say that things have gotten easier indeed although the holidays were rough. Even when I loyally went to the KH 3 times a week, I had an understanding with my friend.. he would go to the memorial with me every year and I would go to midnight mass with him on Christmas Eve (oops) So Christmas sucked this year but I watched midnight mass on TV though. Looking glass I am so sorry about your loss, it is not easy I know. I think that everyone reacts diffeently in the aftermath of loss but distress and the unbearable feeling of loss is universal. Hang in there, it will get better. It's nice to 'see' so many known faces here. Lol you are all going to stay around forever, aren't you? It's great to see everyone, it feels like coming home. I hope I didn't miss anything funny. Just when I disappeared defd was troll number one on the board. Did he ever come back?

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