I think I'm screwing myself

nonamegiven

Get your mind out of the gutter, not screwing myself THAT way haha.

For those that don't know, I'm DF'd, trying to get reinstated so I can get family/friends back in my life than fade away faster than the only good radio station you can tune in on a long road trip. Basically, I can't keep my mouth shut. My mom and I were talking the other day. She is trying to convince me that DF'ing is a good thing. I believe this to be at least 100% false so I will respond to her comments and make queries of my own. That was my first mistake. Then of course I find myself opening up an even though I am biting my lip I feel I am saying way too much. It just kills me, anytime I say ANYTHING she starts throwing around the A word (apostate BTW) and that's what I do not want. I was trying to help her to see that the way WTBTS handles DF;ing is not the way situations were handled in the bible and things made sense to her. So she wanted me to e-mail her the scriptures in question so she can then e-mail her brother (a Bethalite for 35 years) so he can help her to see the light. I'm afraid that will lead to the A word being thrown around more.

I'm torn. I feel it's in my best interests to shut my pie-hole to save my own butt but it's hard to see her believing these things and wondering how she will view me when I'm out. BTW, I was raised in the tr.....tru.......truth but we were never very strong. She has been weak spiritually her whole life, up to now, despite my best efforts to encourage her while I was a believer. Now that I'm on my way out, she is on her way in.

Dangit, between her and my wife I feel I'm doomed to be labeled an apostate and shunned for life.

candidlynuts

that's rough..

you have 2 choices.. bite your tounge and show repentance and shame to get reinstated............ or go full on vocal apostate ..

with the desire to re connect with your family, keeping quiet seems the way to go for now. it's hard but many reinstated ones that don't believe anymore have had to do the same thing.

JamesThomas

Dear nameless one, in my opinion, there has to come a time when we stand on inner integrity and honesty. If others are repulsed by that, then so be it. It's their problem.

Living a lie will destroy you. Better to be honest and genuine. Most certainly, new friends will enter into your life who love and appreciate you for your truthfulness and trustworthiness.

j

JamesThomas

In other words: Yes, you're screwing yourself.

avidbiblereader

I heard it said "You must stand for something or you will fall for anything"

abr

jayhawk1

Apparently you are not very good about leading that "double life" the JWs are always talking about. Best of luck, but if you can't bite your tongue, you're screwed.

Nowman

nonamegiven,

It seems you have alot more to lose (friends/family wise) then I did at the time I left 14 years ago. My parents were the only ones in the org at the time, sure I had very close friendships with many people, but I also had many "worldly" people I knew too. For you, it would be very difficult, you are married, you have family in that cult. Maybe you opening up your mouth to family may not be such a good thing, but its not such a bad thing either. You are damned if you, damned if you don't. My advice would be NOT go back and then fade, it will just turn out the way it is now in my opinion. The way I see it, this is your life right now, we do not know what will happen in our future after death, so why waste so much time? Sure, its dificult, but over time, it gets much better. Also, read your post again, doesn't it seem strange, silly, that you have to go through all that so that family and friends can associate with you? Just because of this religion? This point really gets to me. I read posts of current things going on in the org these days, its so very strange and abnormal. These people are tormenting themselves, I wish they would get a life (I am speaking of those still in the org). But they do not know any better. The latter statement is how I came to forgive my parents for not seeing or speaking to me. Mom, 8 years. Dad, still have not seen him or talked with him in 14 years. Its too bad for him, but not for me. Like I said, it was very hard at first, but overtime, you go on with your life with freedom from the cult, and learn to deal.

Nikki

lfcviking

Now that I'm on my way out, she is on her way in

I'm in the same situation with my Brother mate. Its painful isn't it?

LFCV

new boy

What does the end of the story look like to you?................................And they both lived happy ever after?

Its just like the hotel Califorina "You can check out but you can never leave"

Nicolas

I did basically the samething a few years ago when I discovered all the documentation about the JW on the Internet. I think I was young and with a lack of experience lol. When I saw all the infos that showed the Watchtower was just a big lie, I thought to myself "Why not give this information to my sister who is still in the org". Little did I know that she would immediatly react as if I was a big threat to her while what I was really trying to do was to help her. I haven't talked to my two sisters since this time.

It become hard to understand their reaction when you are on the other side (not a JW anymore) but, you have to remember that when you were yourself a brainwashed JW, you had the same reaction when you heard something negative about the Watchtower.
Now I don't care so much anymore about it and I think that they choose to hurt themselve by doing this shunning. I decided that I shouldn't stop living my life just because they don't accept it.

I think I'm screwing myself

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