I think I'm screwing myself (page 2)

searching4truth

If you don't shut up you are definately screwing yourself. Your bethelite uncle will surely throw up the red flag when he hears

All the time here at JWD we talk about how the WT deceived us all those years. We have no love for the Org because of those lies. Don't stoop to their level of deceit. Whatever cards a man gets dealt after leaving the Borg , then do the best you can and hold your head up proud, Mate.

AK - Jeff

I was not a good 'fader'. Couldn't do it. Mouth is too big. Heart is too real. Integrity was too important.

I expect that in the end it will be the same, unless you really believe. How many can live a lie and be happy. If we protest the lie, they will throw us out again. Even if they don't throw you out again - the 'strong ones' will shun you anyway.

As I see it - you can live life now. Or you can put life on hold. You cannot control a high control religion. But they can control you. You must choose if you will allow that or not.

Best to ya' - none of the choices are easy, mate. But freedom is worth it - you'll see.

Jeff

Tyrone van leyen

Guess what! your fine, there's nothing wrong with you, your assessments are correct. You are not the one with the problem. Don't let the emotional turmoil that they have caused cloud the issues. Your thoughts are valid everywhere else in the world except jw land. The decisions you make shouldn't make you feel bad but it ain't easy either. In the long run you will win. Trust me. If you make this decision and remain true to yourself remaining a loving person to your family, there is not a thing they can do or say. If there is no response to your love and kindness then you know that it's not the place to be anyhow. Love is all that matters in the end. Be patient time has a way of healing things.

vitty

Can I ask which scripture did you use for the DF that your mother wants to pass on ??????????

nonamegiven

Vitty, the few points she wanted to pass on are

2 Thessalonians 3:6, 14-15

“Now we are giving YOU orders, brothers, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, to withdraw from every brother walking disorderly and not according to the tradition YOU received from us…. 14 But if anyone is not obedient to our word through this letter , keep this one marked , stop associating with him, that he may become ashamed. 15 And yet do not be considering him as an enemy, but continue admonishing him as a brother. ”

My point was that even though I am DF'd I should still be shown a certain amount of love as in verse 15.

1Corinthians 5:11

“But now I am writing YOU to quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner , not even eating with such a man. 12 For what do I have to do with judging those outside? Do YOU not judge those inside, 13 while God judges those outside? “Remove the wicked [man] from among yourselves.””

This shows us that there are only a handfull of offenses that are worthy of the big D. Not the dozens that the scociety will shun you for.

Then there's

2 Corinthians 2:5-6

“Now if anyone has caused sadness M , he has saddened, not me, but all of YOU to an extent—not to be too harsh in what I say. 6 This rebuke given by the majority is sufficient for such a man…”

where it seems to indicate not everyone should shun.

I decided not to e-mail her these scriptures so my uncle doesn't call out the cavalry.

Backed away

NNG,

You have a tough situation for sure. I marvel at those in this discussion group who contribute yet for reasons of Family they stay in. I was DF'ed and reinstated but because of the treatment I received while on the outside, my decision was made up then to fade for similiar reasons as you. it's worked for me but I'm fortunate. so far...

Now, if I was as educated with what we learn here and abroad, I don't think I could last at a meeting beyond the opening song. I can handle funerals, strange thing to say huh?, but I too can't keep my mouth shut. spouting lies in front of me, especially on a subject I am qualified to respond to is what kills me to stay silent. It's hard enough when I'm at JW relatives home's not to bite my tongue all the way thru! that's why I refer to my JW family as "small doses " it's all I can take and keep the peace.

No easy answer since It's so personal for you but know we understand and are with you whatever you decide.Hang in there!!

John

cyberdyne systems 101

I personally was not one of those who could continue to live a lie - actually I wasnt aware exactly what was causing my pain and deppresion, All I knew was I had to leave to gain some peace again - it was only after this that I discovered what turmoil my mind was going through to try and make something square go in a round hole. Of course it made no sense and yet our minds were conditioned to accept, and in order to do so we had to stop thinking and reasoning. Anyhow each of us will make our own choices, and decide what is best for our individual circumstances, what is right for me may not be for you. I wish you the best with it though.

Incidently I have noticed that when someone leaves or becomes DF, a relative/friend can actually become more devout despite being 'weak' for many years. I put this down to the mindset they have accumilated all the time they are in and quite possibly fear.

CS 101

Ken O

I truly feel your pain. In October of last year, I did a 6 page D/A letter...then through a month of arguing and pressure, I met with a couple elders and did 3 page "I was wrong" letter. Man, I could just kick myself every time I think about it!!! SO..I decided I wouldn't go. There was alot of pressure because of the Shunning issue. My own mom called me to say she couldn't talk to me anymore..etc..etc.. The only good thing that came of it was we moved out of mom in law's house. I'd bought a Ray Franz book and she could "feel the demons" in the house because of it!!!! OMG SO, I decided not to return. I kept up with my internet research and looking at the oldest publications by the WTS I could find...and came to my final conclusion I couldn't go on living a lie so on Jan 20th, I emailed the Elders and basically told them I'm out!!! Don't call me, shepherd me..etc.. NOW..my wife and kids are the next issue. I'm not sure I even want to stay married at this point. She's "weak" but solid in that CULT. Her mom's her biggest "helper" to stay in it. She says all the stuff I found is "lies by apostates"...even though much is out of the WTS or reputable information sources. Wait...I'm rambling.........er...OK... Yes, you ARE screwing yourself...but not like you think. Go ahead....let them D/F you....stay that way. I totally understand about the shunning issue. Get new friends...go out, have a good time, MAKE NEW FRIENDS. That's a good ploy they use; you only have a JW support system then you are more likely to STAY a JW because you have NO ONE ELSE....(I'm not yelling, just trying to emphasize). Did I make my point? Hope so... :-)

I think I'm screwing myself