by mavie 30 Replies latest jw friends
Mavie, I faded away years ago. I'm an only child, so it must've been a huge disappointment to my parents. At first, they tried to give me "care packages' with Asleep and Witchtower tucked inside, but I asked them to stop. They did, and have never shunned me. We do avoid some topics, but talk regularly. I'm very lucky fortunate! Please tell us more of your story!
I also see that you have a nice, neatly trimmed beard. They must be horrified, tee-hee!
my parents are shunning me ever since i got honest with them and told them i had no intention of going back..... more will be revealed.....
At first they were nice to me since I wasn't DA'd or DF'd, but there would be spurts of shunning then they would come around again. My mom and I had a huge blow up about 3 years ago when she called me asking me if I had any intentions of ever coming back and I decided to be honest with her, brutally honest. Which resulted in her telling me I sound like an apostate and she felt she shouldn't talk to me anymore, then I didn't hear from them for over a year after that. But over a month ago I got an official certified, typed letter from my dad saying they can't have anything to do with me because of the choices I've made in my life. It's probably easier this way anyway.
oops, Double post
i left somewhat abruptly about ten years ago -- just up and moved across the country. i kept saying i'd come home soon, but never have, except for the (very) occasional visit. at some point i wrote a letter to my mom and told her that i wasn't interested in the religion anymore (i'd been a regular pioneer), and to please stop sending me the magazines and heartfelt pleas to go to the local hall. she gave elders in the area i'd moved to my address, and i hid so i wouldn't have to talk to them. she is now aware that i'm gay, and does *not* like my girlfriend, solely because she *is* my girlfriend, and i get the occasional email from her, mostly those ghastly "experiences" and anecdotes that are supposed to be encouraging. otherwise, i don't hear from her. three of my four siblings are out -- one is da'd, one df'd, one was never baptised, and the other is too young (12) to make her own decision yet. when we do talk, on rare occasions, we mostly talk about work, as they don't want to hear about my personal life. they are, needless to say, very short conversations. so i guess (short answer) they didn't react well, but they're not actively shunning me, either. there's a great deal of tension whenever we do talk. we'll see how things are when i go home for a visit later this year...
For the first 15 months I had no contact at all with my parents. Since then it's been "necessary family business", as it is with my youngest brother. Since I rent a home from them it means occasional contact.
I'm the Eldest of four. I've had no contact with my nearest brother for over five years. After he attempted to ruin my sister's wedding and told my parents they should take my picture down as I'm dead, I have little interest in making the first move. He's probably the only family member I won't be inviting to my wedding.
My sister left before I did, so we see each other regularly
(((((misanthropic)))))
That must be really hard to deal with to have ones we love so much stab our heart like that. It bothers me so much to see this religion splitting families, turn ones we love into complete monsters. I don't know, I've been through this "jdub valley of death" and yet get surpirsed every time. I mean for crying out loud, even bible if they want to quote it asks in disbelief "Can mother froget child of her womb?" or something like that anyway. How could this be? What sort of brainwashing must be at play to makes someone turn agianst his own child? We judge people like that. From time to time we hear of people who killed their own child or inflicted heavy bodily or psychological harm and this "satanic" world judges them at a very mention of that, yet here we have ones who dare calling themselves "god's people" doing heavy emotional harm to their own families and this disgusting cult getting away with that for making them do it. My heart goes out to you!
My husband's parents at first were shocked. My mother-in-law told us that we " took being JWs too seriously". We found that ridiculous as we were raising children and as far as we were concerned, you couldn't act one way and then expect our kids to act as JWS also...Of course that is how his parents lived as Dubs..and his father was an elder..he survived by living a double life..one as a good Dub.. the other as a "worldly guy" with his non-JW friends. ..They have never shunned us even though counselled too.. They do as they want..probably because they donate a lot to the congregration and help many brothers out financially..
I have no living JWs on my side of the family.
Mine family is evolving. I think in the beginning they just gave me space thinking I'd be back soon. Nobody ever asked me anything. They just heard through the grapevine I was not attending meetings.
Now it's taken a more severe turn. I heard that I have been "marked" by non-family but close "high-profile JW" friends. I think that was a result of running into one in the market. I told them I wouldn't be going to the DC after they had gone on and on about how they were "hanging in there" and reg pioneering. Since then I see a distance from the rest of the JW family.
I predict that they will swing back again at some point. I hear my mother will not let them talk badly about me. Bless her.
In the end...I do not care. I wish it was different in the respect I do love these people...but I am too happy with my life now to change.
The divisions this religion causes does anger me. Curse them.
It's been 6 years for me now. Time flies.
I've got two sisters in the "truth". Both my parents died before I left. Initially I told them I was "on a break" so they continued to associate with me. Eventually they got suspicious, especially when the dub who we had cleaning our house reported she found tinsel on our stairs around Chrismas time.
I was told they they could no longer associate with me unless I went back to meetings. My oldest sister going so far as to say that even though the elders didn't disfellowship me, she was disfellowshiping me in her heart. Since then we have had very minimal contact. My middle sister who lives here is somewhat friendly if I catch her away from her husband. Both her children have quit going to the meetings and hang out with me quite a bit (drives her nuts I'm sure ) so I do have some family.
To give you an idea of how they still treat me here is what the conversation went like when I called my oldest sister to let her know I was getting married:
Me: Hi, it's Diane
Her: Hi
Me: I'm calling to let you know I am engaged, I figure since we are sisters the least I can do is call you to let you know.
Her: Ok
Me: Well then Bye
Her: Bye
The middle sister was pretty much that same but she did have the good grace to at least congratulate me and hope I'm happy.
Gotta love em.
