Are you vindictive?

free2beme

Once you left the Witnesses, did you want some sort of revenge? When you left relationships in your past, did you do something to harm the other person with words or actions? When you left jobs, did you bad mouth your employer with a hope of harming him/her financially? I don't know what it is about me, but I have always felt the single most important thing for me to control, is the natural urge to try and seek a vengeance for being wronged. While I have no problem with legal action, when needed, I do not like to find myself in conversations of being negative about people, religions or jobs I once associated with. I know it feels good at times, to do this, but it always lingers in the back of your mind with a layer of guilt when you calm down. Anyone else feel this way? I freely admit, to being vindictive. I just also admit, I don't act on it, I have control of my feelings to some extent, from sad lessons of the past.

Are you vindictive?

diamondblue1974

Good question!

It depends on the circumstances, I have been described as a 'great friend' on one hand but a 'frightful enemy' on the other; looking back I can probably see why they might say that. Nowadays I concentrate on being the former as revenge serves no purpose whatsoever.

Living well is the best form, I believe.

DB74

frankiespeakin

I don't think I'm vindictive, I have no desire to punish those that wronged me, part of it being that I have wronged others in my ignorance. I have many former friends who are loyal JW blinded by fear of displeasing a vengeful god. I only wish them happiness reguardless of wheter they come out of the cult or not.

I would like to see the WT go bankrupt, but feel for those that devoted thier lives to it in bethel service and would be left with no place to go if it did. Deep inside me I don't want anybody to suffer, but if it the leaders have to suffer, so that less JW suffer in the future, I feel that is ok.

I suppose I get a certain rush of pleasure when the lying hypocrites(religious or political) that decieve people to thier injury get exposed and suffer public shame. I don't have any burning desire that the punishment be as great or equal to the pain they have caused, just that they stop thier lying and they make a sincere effort to undo the damage they have cause to a reasonable degree.

searching4truth

I am not generally vindictive. The only time I see it necessary to retaliate in any instance is when it will prevent further harm to myself or others.

Abandoned

I'm not vindictive. It takes too much energy and I have too many goals that require my attention.

Scully

All the energy I would expend in being angry and exacting revenge could be put to use in making my life and circumstances better.

Allowing myself to remain angry about something that someone has done to me gives that person power over me. Their action - probably long-forgotten to them - still controls me if I remain angry at them and seek vengeance.

There is nothing wrong with taking that anger and using it to effect a positive outcome for myself or other people. That way I remain in control of my emotions and my actions, and it shows the person who wronged me that I can prevail in spite of what they did to me.

J-ex-W

Sometimes I wish I could be. It would have at least put me on equal ground in combatting my ex-husband's attacks. But then again, that equal ground will also be lower ground, and therein lies the rub. I am getting closer to wanting to see some justice, though, as opposed to just walking away and letting it go untended.

merfi

Um, I can be... But usually it's in thought only; I'm not a very good at the follow-through, which is probably a good thing. I've had ideas of putting Kool-aid packets on the windshields at the KH, writing a special Christmas letter to all the JWs in my old cong and other somewhat prank-y things. But I then remind myself to take the higher road and not let them get to me. Suck up, move on and smile....

I'm pretty good with the poison pen/keyboard to the ex when he pisses me off about stuff, but I wouldn't really call that vindictive. He usually just strikes a nerve and I have to open the can of written whoopass on him.

One thing vindictive that I did and not proud of, is take pix of an almost-ex's jeep hidden in the shadows of new girlfriend's garage and give them to the elders.

I'm learning to let it go...

free2beme

You know, I dislike that song by Carrie Underwood where she talks about destroying her boyfriends truck. I know people think, "cool and funny", but I think it sounds extremely vindictive and know woman who look to it as a guidebook and not entertainment.

Tyrone van leyen

Vindictiveness is a fighting spirit and powerful motivating force if you don't let it poison you and direct it accordingly. Sometimes in reality though theres nothing to really strike at and it is a waste of time. If you beleive that this scene is all there is and nothing happens after you die, then these little pricks will walk away scott free and laugh while they're doing it. Now is the only chance you have to wipe that stupid smile off there faces and reclaim your dignity. At the same time you can spend a lifetime doing this to those that have wronged you. On the other hand if you beleive at the end of all this they will get theirs on the other side by god or whatever, you can adopt a lie down and take it attitude. Personally I don't get much satisfaction from the latter. Life can be veiwed as a series of lessons that you can learn from and not fall into these traps again,adding to your worldveiw if something positive is to come out of all the crap. The real tradgedy in life is continuing to make the same mistakes again and carrying the baggage with you which detracts from your enjoyment of life. Every situation is different and everyone gets dealt a different hand. Some people can be reasoned with and forgiven, others only understand a punch in the head. Whatever it takes. With the witnesses the problem never goes away when family is involved and they are immune to reasoning. This perpetuates the problem. Take comfort in knowing they are well hated by a great many people and they know it. They are already harming themselves we don't need to.

Are you vindictive?

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