Paternity Question

by pratt1 20 Replies latest social relationships

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  avidbiblereader

  Yours Chelbie gave an excellent answer and is right on cue

  A divorce will not change his obligation to pay child support even if the 6 year old is not biologically his. (Except if they live in Georgia were a law allows a presumed father who can prove he is not the biological father with DNA evidence to give up legal rights and obligations if he choses to do so

  I read a whole article on this, the law will most likely side with her, there are many men out there who have been in this situation and even though proved the children are not his, they are paying as if they were. So much Justice for all. It was a Dateline episode I believe.

  abr
• 

  Nosferatu

  the law will most likely side with her, there are many men out there who have been in this situation and even though proved the children are not his, they are paying as if they were. So much Justice for all.

  These kind of laws make me fuming mad. After the bitch lies to him, he should have the right to leave both of them behind, and ask for BACKPAY from the woman for supporting a child that was not his to begin with.

  As for the situation originally posted, I'd get the DNA test, and if it proves that he is not the father, the lying bitch should be the one to tell the child about his REAL father. Make her live with the shame and guilt of putting the child through something that he didn't deserve.

  Sorry for the harsh language, but stuff like this REALLY pisses me off, since I was lied to three or four times by women so they could get pregnant.
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  avidbiblereader

  No it is not fair and I too was fuming mad at watching the show but this is the poor justice that the innocent man gets. First the lie of unfaithfullness, paying and raising a child not his, getting emotionally attached to the child, the humilation of others knowing about it eventually and then as a payment. Here is your bill and oh by the way you have no real rights except to foot the entire bill, emotionally and financially. Dont be surprised if she doenst walk even in the congregation saying this is just taking too much of a toll on her and the child.

  abr
• 

  pratt1

  I'll update you guys on what happens, but knowing my friend his first priority will be the mental and financial health of his ? son.

  I spoke with his dad and his family is prepared to support him in whatever he decides to do.

  My advice to him is to be careful in how he treats his wife in this matter, because it all will have an effect on the son. Kids don't always understand why adults do the things they do, and it would be very easy fo this kid to feel that all of this is his fault, which could have terrible consequences for all later on in life.

  It's a tough call and I know these next few weeks are going to be hard on the entire family.
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  JWdaughter

  Anyone who loves a child for six years is not going to just say to the woman (if the child isn't his), bye, you deal with it! Not anyone who loves the child as their father. Human lives have value-even when they aren't 'related' to us. Anyone who truly loves another could not abandon them, even if you think it should be their right. The woman deserves some grief, but it was years ago and the child is more important than revenge on the woman. He didn't do any of this, and destroying HIS life cause SHE deserves it, serves no one. In this age of 'no fault' divorce, her cheating probably won't even matter. And that he raised the child as his and is listed on the records as his, makes the child his, in most states. Not negotiable. So why be an ass about it?

  If divorce is necessary, too bad. Don't destroy another life because you married badly.
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  Nosferatu

  The woman deserves some grief, but it was years ago and the child is more important than revenge on the woman.

  Although I agree with the point about having relationships regarless of family, I wasn't trying to promote revenge on the woman, I was trying to promote teaching the woman a lesson - even though she may not learn anything.

  He didn't do any of this, and destroying HIS life cause SHE deserves it, serves no one.

  This also isn't about destroying the boy's life. The woman has already destroyed his, and her husband's life by telling this lie to both of them. The boy and the husband didn't deserve to have this lie told, and I think the woman is the one who should explain the situation to the boy since she's the one who lied in the first place, regardless of how shitty she feels. It's nothing compared to how the husband and the boy are / will be feeling. She should take full responsibility for her lie.

  Don't destroy another life because you married badly.

  I'm guessing that you think it's a good idea for a bad marriage to continue for the sake of the family unit. However, if the family unit is rotten to the core, what's the use in keeping it?
• 

  zagor

  He asked for my advice and I said, at this point I would just focus on the marriage issue, is it worth saving, can you ever trust her again, do you really love her. When you are calm and have thought every thing through, you can deal with the paternity issue. It s ben 6 years already, whats another couple of weeks or a month?

  You are right, he needs to focus on marriage first. Though personally, I don't think I would ever trust her again.
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  Nosferatu

  I posted this situation on another board to get some different input. There was one response I got that I wholeheartedly agree with:

  Forget about paternity tests. After all...there is nothing he can do about. For all involve (including the law), the child is ALREADY his (even legally speaking).

  So...what he SHOULD do is divorce her due to infidelity. And then fight for FULL custody of the child. Make her lose both: child and husband.
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  JWdaughter

  Nos, right now that little boy is clueless. He is six years old. His life is NOT destroyed. Yet. The Father could maintain or change his status in life-as to whether it is destroyed or not. The woman needs to learn a lesson, but it doesn't need to involve the child. Just think. If the child IS truly the married couples biological son would he deserve to be told that the man isn't daddy? Well, he should not be told that under any circumstances at 6 years old by anybody. I have a 6 year old who is definitely the son of my husband. And while it is biological, if it wasn't, he would be JUST AS MUCH definitely the son of my husband. After 6 years or (you may find-6 months or weeks) that baby is YOURS. You think all those adoption stories are heartbreaking when the parents change their mind at a few days or weeks? This is a 6 year old child. I am 40 and I remember being 4 dimly, but 6 is pretty clear. You don't do that to a child. No matter who his sperm donor is, he KNOWS who his daddy is.

  I don't think divorce will destroy the child, unless the adults try to destroy each other. Divorce may or may not be the right thing, but that boy's life will be destroyed if his daddy abandons him.
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  Nellie

  I wonder what would happen if he suggested they go to the brothers for counsel?