i left the org a few years ago but my friend in the org wants me to go to her wedding she is marrying a non jw, she has been councelled for seeing him and is on reproof, they dont know she is going to marry him shes not telling them till after, all her family are jw some are going, its a civil ceremony, will they DF her if she marries him?
question re a jw marrying a non jw???
by nelly1 13 Replies latest jw friends
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bubble
No you can't be df for marrying a non jw. My sister did it and they left her alone. She was 'marked' when she started dating him though.
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jgnat
Marrying a non-JW is not a DF'ing offence. The elders will be mightily ticked, however, that she ignored their advice. They will make her life miserable. They may also make a desperate attempt to recruit the husband. If their attempts don't work, they will make her life double miserable.
....from the voice of experience.
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sspo
No df.
I was an elder for 21 years and worked along with many body of elders and never tried to make anybodies life miserable if they married a non-beleiver.
Once you counsel a person not to do it and they don't listen, you have done your job , you try to show love to the person and help them to make the best out of the situation..
One thing people on this board need to learn and keep in mind that not every elder was a jerk , unkind and a child molester and money hungry and so on., those that made life miserable for others were in the minority and truly behaved like pharisees.
As we well know many on this board were elders and truly beleive they were sincere and kind toward the "sheep" and did the job with a pure motive.
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LovesDubs
When I first started going to meetings it was because I had met and was dating...yes DATING..a JW tho he and his family tried to keep his illicit relationship with this worldly woman a secret. It didnt work very well. They had so many "congregation talks" regarding being unevenly yoked with the world during which I noted the speaker would look DIRECTLY AT ME...that I eventually freaked out and ran out of a meeting one night. It was a small congregation and everybody was related to everybody else and I stuck out like a sore thumb. But I was THERE for Gods sake...at least I was attending the damn meetings but the elders were relentless in trying to rid him of me. So...fast forward 13 years...Im baptized for many years and there is a ministerial servant in the bookstudy in my house whose wife I studied with and whose wife was baptized a JW just before dying of a heart problem. I find out a year to the date she died, that not only is this MS MARRIED...but he has been MARRIED FOR A YEAR and to a WORLDLY WOMAN FROM WORK....and the ELDERS KNEW ABOUT IT...and they ALL kept it secret from the entire congregation! He REMAINED an MS during all of this! He married this chick less than a WEEK after his wifes funeral too and I called him on the carpet for it...literally called him up and reemed him out for LYING and DECEIVING us all and giving us all the "wait on Jehovah" speech over and over. He said well he "had to get married to prevent committing fornication because he had 'needs'". So you couldnt MARRY A SISTER?? There were like 25 women to every available male in that congregation and he couldnt find a sister??? BS brother.
So no...they wouldnt DARE DF her. And I know not all elders were bad or miscreants but many MANY of them were that I dealt with in the 13 years I was in. The power or position or the things they KNEW about peoples personal lives empowered them and many held those things over peoples heads. If God DID choose elders, it would have been a different story. But as long as men choose men...well...nuff said.
LD
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Undecided
A little over a year after my JW wife divorced me and was DFed for fornication I married a worldly woman. They were nice to her and tried to entrap her in the JW religion but she was too smart to fall for it. I still believed it at that time but didn't want all the bondage it required. I just faded away and we have been happy ever since.
Ken P.
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Golf
I'm with sspo on this one.
Golf -
Will Power
what if all the nice elders are here, or will be soon? Thats how you can tell if they're nice, they can only do the elder job for so long.
just wondering -
sammielee24
was an elder for 21 years and worked along with many body of elders and never tried to make anybodies life miserable if they married a non-beleiver.
I know of a JW who is being denied reinstatement because he married an unbeliever so don't kid yourself - it's happened before and it's still happening. sammieswife.
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undercover
One thing people on this board need to learn and keep in mind that not every elder was a jerk , unkind and a child molester and money hungry and so on., those that made life miserable for others were in the minority and truly behaved like pharisees.
Not to hijack the thread...
but I had to say:
Back to the subject: No, she won't get DFd, but she will be viewed as "spiritually weak" and will likely by partially shunned by many in the congregation. And then, when things might not go so well, whether ill health, money woes, or even marriage problems, many of the dubs will be quick to say, "that's what you get when you don't 'marry in the Lord'".