Disciplining babies?

by bernadette 44 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  JWdaughter

  My mom thinks I don't discipline my son enough-he doesn't listen well. He is very different from my older kids in that it takes a lot more repeating to get him to even notice. Unless I take something away. My mom doesn't understand that he responds to actions more than words right now. Right or wrong, he listens to what I DO. He won't hear me tell him to put his toys away-unless I turn off the tv and tell him he can play after his room is tidy. Or I tell him that if 3 things are out while he is playing with the 4th, the three things go into jail for a week. That is who he is and he knows I will do what I say I will do. He knows that my husband (and mom) will repeat themselves 30 times, then get pissy and mad. He is betting that they will wear out first. And they usually do. My older kids know that I have always chosen my battles. And they know that mom will do what mom says she will do. They can count on me-for better or worse! My older kids learned a lot faster about the consequences if they needed to be told more than 2x. This one will learn-eventually.

  I do have one abusive habit though. I have gently 'flicked' my kids foreheads when they do/say something they KNOW is rude or mean. It is the unhappy equivalent of my happy/I love you forehead caress. It is usually administered in the car when they say something rude or mean about someone-and it is a reminder to think before you open your mouth! Not painful or bruise inflicting, but attention getting without a lecture. Don't know how it started, but I usually get a mild response like -ooh, sorry mom. And no lecture or long conversation is usually needed. I have occassionally admitted I needed a flick myself. (Kids respect when you can admit to being/doing wrong)

  Slapping an unborn child? Call cps already! Little babies? Having a small child cringe at your approach-yeah, thats the dream of a new parent. These people need to learn better ways and real expectations. Kids are filled with energy, and getting them cowed is not my goal as a parent. It shouldn't be the goal of any parent.
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  nelly136

  nah it wasnt all bad lol, as for the hitting i saw so much of it at the hall etc i thought it was perfectly normal and everyone did it, part from worldy people who didnt care about their kids of course ;)

  it took a whiles to work out that there was abuse in all walks and you dont have to beat your kids to prove you love them or make them behave.

  i found having my first was a shock to the system i got things wrong, sheesh i still do things wrong 19 years later with my 11 year old, but then if we were perfect we'd be in paradise

  but at least my kids can look me in the eye and they dont ever flinch or shy away from me and i count that as a blessing, i'm 41 and i still have a problem with remembering to keep eye contact with people, as a kid it was safer to avoid it most of the time.
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  Fleshybirdfodder

  I think perhaps I am the first male to post here, and I do not have children, but this makes me sick. I've seen it before in the congregations. Talk about Pavlovian conditioning. Parents striking babies because they are crying (CRYING is the only way babies can communicate!) during a meetingIS child abuse. If I ever saw my niece or nephew get treated that way by anyone there would be definitive action taken. What really makes me sick is what I witnessed as a kid growing up in the ORG. Seeing a really bright kid of a woman who had just recently converted being taken over by the "mental conditioning" of the congregation and the "strong sisters" and be taken out of his mother's arms when he was upset or couldn't "pay attention" (seriously.... even the most easy-going baby raised in the org will rang frequently) to be sternly reprimanded by the P.O.'s wife while he wailed in the B school. I guess I'm being harsh. It did allow her to comment more. I'm sure her child will grow up to be fantastically well adjusted.

  FBF
• 

  bernadette

  Articles like the one below don't help the situation - w1988

  Why

  TrainFromInfancy?

  11

  But when should parental training begin? The Bible says that Timothy received his training "from infancy." (2 Timothy 3:15) Interestingly, bre´phos, the Greek word here, is often used of an unborn child, as at Luke 1:41, 44. There the infant John was said to leap within his mother’s womb. But bre´phos is also used of the newborn Israelite babies whose lives were threatened in Egypt in the time Moses was born. (Acts 7:19, 20) In Timothy’s case, the word clearly refers to a mere infant, or baby, and not simply to a young child. Timothy received instruction from the holy writings from as far back as his memory could reach, from the time when he was only a baby. And with what fine results! (Philippians 2:19-22) Yet, can newborn babies really benefit from such early teaching?

  12

  "One of the most exciting developments in the whole field of psychology is our new understanding of the great ability of the infant to learn," reported Dr. Edward Zigler, a professor at Yale University, in 1984. In fact, the magazine Health says: "Babies still in the womb may be able to see, hear, taste—and ‘feel’ emotions, new research suggests." Evidently, parents can never start too early to instruct their children. (Deuteronomy 31:12) They can start by showing their children pictures from books and sharing stories with them. "The crucial years," says Masaru Ibuka, author of the book KindergartenIsTooLate, "are the years from birth to three." This is because the young mind is especially malleable, absorbing information more easily, as is evidenced by an infant’s quick mastery of a new language. A professor in early childhood education at New York University even said that "parents should begin teaching kids to read the moment they bring them home from the hospital"!

  13

  A mother from Canada writes regarding her child’s ability to learn: "One day I was reading a story from MyBookofBibleStories to my four-and-a-half-year-old son, Shaun. As I paused at one point, I found to my amazement that he began to continue the story, word for word, as it appears in the BibleStories book. . . . I tried another and then another, and he had memorized every one. . . . He has actually memorized, word for word, the first 33 stories, including difficult names of places and people."

  14

  Those well acquainted with the potential of infants to learn are not surprised by such feats. "The world could be full of intellectual giants like Einstein, Shakespeare, Beethoven and Leonardo da Vinci if we taught babies instead of children," claims Dr. Glenn Doman, director of The Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential. Of course, the goal of Christian parents is not to produce intellectual giants but to reach the hearts of their children so that the children never depart from serving God. (Proverbs 22:6) Such efforts need to be made long before the child enters school, in order to prepare him for the tests he will face there. Kindergarten or day-care programs, for instance, feature birthday and holiday parties that can be fun for children. So the child needs to understand why Jehovah’s servants do not participate. Otherwise he may grow to hate his parents’ religion.
• 

  Rebirth

  Nelly, reading your posts fill my heart with so much pain and so much anger that I want to explode. These people feel so out of control in their own lives that they need to exert some sort of control on helpless little beings. No courage to stand up for themselves and take back their own power, absolutely sickening...

  My heart goes out to you, I too was abused and my girls will never know that pain.
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  144001

  I'd report them. Child abuse should not go unreported.
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  ValiantBoy

  unfortunately, in the congregations I was in, it was quite common to spank babies. Some restricted it to a mild swat, others went further. I recall one witness woman who carried a wooden spatula with her to spank her children. A lot of others in the cong were appalled and eventually another sister stole the spatula and broke it in half. BUT no one ever reported her for child abuse. Even as a child, however, I knew that's what it was.

  Another instance I recall involved a toddler. The parents constantly smacked him, either open open slaps on the face or cracking the top of his head with their study books. Once, at a bookstudy in a private home, the mother took him into the kitchen and spanked him very roughly. The study conductor actually asked one of the sisters, in front of everyone, to go into the kitchen and tell the mother that "that is enough." But, again, no one ever reported her.

  I say report them anonymously and let the state sort it out. A lot of attention has, thankfully, been put on the tolerance of sex abuse in the organization. It is time that physical abuse receive attention too.
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  Stealth453

  Many years ago, while acting as a special attendant at an ass-embly, I witnessed the wife of a prominent Bethelite, who was the "nurse" in the first aid room, hold a water soaked towel over the nose and mouth of a very small child, to stop her from crying. I can only say that I was horiffied at such a blatant abuse of a child.

  After more than 30 years, I can still see the terror in that little girls eyes.

  Man I hate the watchwankers.
• 

  confusedjw

  AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  I hope someday we only have to have threads which say "Loving Babies"
  
  I'm sure those parents think they are SOOOO SPIRITUAL.
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  Mysterious

  It's about control right from the beginning. i know our hall used to have a "cry room" presumably it was so that small babies who were crying could be taken back there until they calmed down. Of course if you were not crying when they took you to the cry room you would be by the time you left.