Youths leaving...

by Anony-Mouse 13 Replies latest jw friends

Anony-Mouse

Alright, I have a few questions about the 'young ones'.

I've heard that the rate at which younger kids are leaving has increased. Is this true? And why is this happening?

I myself am considered young (I'm old on the inside). I've recently made a lot of freinds. Good freinds, that I care a lot about.

Since I'm turning 18 in a year, I'm worried about them. And worried about possibly leaving them. What should I do? I don't know if I should leave them be, and run off. Or if I should convince them to leave with me, or what.

For instance, one of my freinds is kind of like I was a few years ago. I believed it, but I had doubts. She believes it more than I did, but she's a bit more 'radical' than I was. Her choice in clothes and music, while normal, are not exactly up to "JW standard". And she lacks the science craving personality I have.

The big problem I have with her is this: What if I do convince her to leave? Her entire family is in it. They might hate her. She's really close to her family, I don't want her to suffer with that. Do I even want to try to convince her?

That, and I don't even know where to get freinds outside of school and KH. I've discovered that I'm apparently a nice person, and everybody loves my personality, but I lack the outside experience. I've been homeschooled for just about my whole life.
some-xjw-guy

Hey buddy, well as far as why more young ones might be leaving, (probably true) my guess is a certain biological BS detector we're all borned with. (the detector is biological I mean..) The argument might be made that people in general are also just fed up with the BS from all sorts of sources, young people are perhaps a bit more sensitive for various reasons. As far as convincing other people to leave and making friends, I say the answer is one: Your only job is to be yourself. You can be honest and say what you think and how you feel, but don't get into this kind of sticky codependent situation of trying to get someone to do something. Even if you talk it over with your friend, you might just say "it would be nice if you left" (at the appropriate point) maybe because you would like to have a friend that understands or whatever, but the bottom line is people will do what they want anyway. Also making real friends isn't about getting people to like you is it? I mean maybe you can do things to be nice, but the best is when people like you for just who you are.
GoingGoingGone

The big problem I have with her is this: What if I do convince her to leave? Her entire family is in it. They might hate her.
Why did you leave yourself? Do you no longer believe the things the WT teaches? Are you completely sure that they are not God's chosen organization? If so, can you list the reasons why?
If you have solid reasons for leaving the JWs and truly believe that they aren't God's chosen people, then there is nothing wrong with sharing that knowledge with a friend. Knowledge is power. Once she has the knowledge, the responsibility for what your friend ultimately decides to do with her life is her own. But at least she'll have the facts and be able to make a truly informed decision.
Be careful, though. You didn't say if you were baptized or not, but if you are and you have family in, you might not want to be DF'd. And also be aware that sometimes, they simply don't want to hear it.
GGG
RichieRich

I've heard that the rate at which younger kids are leaving has increased. Is this true? And why is this happening?
I think its true. There are no for sure stats in print anywere, but it appears that in the past year or so, the 16-25 crowd has been pouring OUT of God's Loving Earthly Organization. There is no for sure reason why its happening. Figure out why YOU are here, and I think you might understand why others are here.
I myself am considered young (I'm old on the inside). I've recently made a lot of freinds. Good freinds, that I care a lot about.
Be honest. Are these good friends compared to the rest of your friends, or are these TRUE friends who listen to late night phone calls and would put themselves out on a limb to help you out?
Since I'm turning 18 in a year, I'm worried about them. And worried about possibly leaving them. What should I do? I don't know if I should leave them be, and run off. Or if I should convince them to leave with me, or what.
Unless you are one hell of a salesman, I doubt you're going to convince all your friends to leave with you. Do they know about your thoughts and feelings right now? Are they similarly minded? Now, you can figure this one out once you determine whether these people are good friends or true friends. I don't know much of your story and situation, but remember that the choices you make are your own and effect YOU the most. If not hanging out with these kids means your exit smoother, it might be the path you have to take.
For instance, one of my freinds is kind of like I was a few years ago. I believed it, but I had doubts. She believes it more than I did, but she's a bit more 'radical' than I was. Her choice in clothes and music, while normal, are not exactly up to "JW standard". And she lacks the science craving personality I have.
Some kids want to make an option number 2 for themselves. They want to remain Witnesses to appease everyone, but they want to listen to their own music, and be individuals. Unfortunately, they don't realize that it would be just as easy to leave, rather than try and carve a niche for themselves that will never work.
The big problem I have with her is this: What if I do convince her to leave? Her entire family is in it. They might hate her. She's really close to her family, I don't want her to suffer with that. Do I even want to try to convince her?
In the bible, Paul says that he planted seeds, and God made them grow. Paul wasn't converting people, Jehovah was. You can do the same. Plant seeds of doubt, or offer reasonable alternatives, and let the JWs seal their own fate with her. If you show her what to look for, she should be able to make her own decision. But you can't convince her to leave. She needs to do that on her own. The best you can do for her is to offer your support.
That, and I don't even know where to get freinds outside of school and KH. I've discovered that I'm apparently a nice person, and everybody loves my personality, but I lack the outside experience. I've been homeschooled for just about my whole life.
Sad as it may seem, you were prob. homeschooled in part for this very reason. You don't know much as far as what's out in the world. Its not easy, but you'll find your place with time. For a while, you might have to just hang out with yourself. Get a job, and build relationships with those people. And think about this (it helped me a bunch): "Worldly" people don't have the kingdom Hall to hook them up with proper friends. Worldly people have to walk across the bar, stick their hand out, and introduce themselves. That's exactly what you'll be doing.
I'm not on here much anymore, but you are more than welcome to IM me on AIM (theycallmeb1gred) or hit me up on myspace ( www.myspace.com/richardiveythethird ) or email me ( Richardiveythethird @ yahoo.com)
tetrapod.sapien

hey man,
richie has some pretty sage advice for you there.
i wish you the best. i'm sure a smart kid like you will do fine.
and remember that your friends must walk their own path. the best thing you can do for them is to be yourself, and show them what freedom of mind looks like. but if none of them have the courage and insight that you do at this time, you never know, you may still see them one day still. it happened to me. but you have to be strong, and be yourself.
nice to meet you,
tetra
Bstndance

Richie's got it all down. You may also want to be cautious when talking to your friend as some JWs like to throw people under the bus to make themselves look better.

Richie, aren't you a little too young to be at a bar? HAHA
steve2

I would never leave just because others my age were eaving. I'd only leave because I no longer believed it was the truth - pure and simple. In fact, if someone approached me and asked "Should I leave?" I'd say back to them, "If you've got to ask me whether or not you should leave, you probably shouldn't".
It's an awesome responsibility to make up your own mind, and there's no sure fire way to reach a stage where you will take that responsibility for your decisions. But when you do, there'll ne no stopping you. Good wishes.
BTW: Young ones have been pouring out of the organization for decades. Hell, I lived in a remote rural area and went to school in the 1960s with about ten young children whose parents wereJWs . By the time I was 18, I was the only one still associating!
In the 1970s, I noticed a different, but short-lived trend: Lots and lots of young ones who were stirred up about 1975 start pouring back into the religion, along with lots of young people who were not raised in the religion. There was phenomenal growth in the number of young ones. But, after 1975 came and went, they started dropping out again.
troucul

Richie Rich...there you go again...wise beyond your years...You think too much man. Fortuneately, you're right most of the time. You need a girlfriend dude...
truthsearcher

Hey: as a homeschooled student,have you had any contact with other homeschoolers? There are piles of us out there, and there are many groups and support organizations that offer a chance to get together with teens your age. You may never have met any because of being isolated from "bad associations", but these people are awesome! They have been involved in all sorts of activities and are often really interesting, fun, and have clean morals and strong family ties. You might find that you would have things in common with them. You could do some investigating and see if there is anything like that in your area. Just a suggestion...
TS
Amazing

Anony-Mouse,
You write very well for someone still in high school. Anyway, don't burden yourself with what you should do to get your friends out. Look at your life ahead of you, and decide what and how you want to live. If you want a good professional career, then make plans for college. If you believe in God, then search out good wholesome Christian Churches. There are many good Churches among Protestants, Catholics, and Eastern Orthodox. (Although, being an ex-JW, you might find the ritual of Catholic and Orthodox to be a bit much ... I am Catholic once again, but I grew up in that faith ... so, I have a built in appreciation for it.)
Your friends will see that you are moving on, and will inquire. They will see your example, and take note. You do not need to try and talk them out of the JWs. They will ask, and you can answer. Instead, live your life, and don't look back. When the time is right a great women will come along and you both will make each other's life complete.
Get you college education ... it is vital to decent employment (or self-employment). College will help you with constructive and critical thinking, which is vital to living in today's world which is filled with scams.
Given your ability to write well, I am guessing that you are quite intelligent and get good grades. If that is the case, there are good scholarship programs which will help with the cost. Also, student loans will cover the rest of the cost. You will not regret getting your degree. You will then be in a great position to take on life, have a good life, and see more clearly how to help others when the situation arises.
Jim Whitney

Youths leaving...

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