Nice post Jim... Vary sound advice for our young poster...
Youths leaving...
by Anony-Mouse 13 Replies latest jw friends
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Anony-Mouse
I'm not sure if they're "true freinds", willing to go all out for me.
I certainly would for them, which is why I want them to know what I know so bad.
I think the advice "be yourself" is the best I can follow.
And I can tell you why I'm so worked up about all this. I didn't have any good freinds for many years. I was homeschooled, and our congregation was lacking people my age. But now we're in a new congregation, with lots of people my age. I decided I was going to make freinds, so I did.
For the first time in many years, I have FRIENDS. I can forget about how terrible it is to be alone.
Ultimately, it IS all thier choice. I can only lay out the facts.
It's just hard for me to do that, because I want them all OUT. I can't help but invision that they're on thier death bed, the watchtower recently disbanded, wishing their WHOLE LIVES weren't wasted...And that maybe, if I had just tried harder...
Anyways, "Mind off the future, Mind on the present!" I can't help but look ahead, it's a major fault of mine.
Right now, I have something worth living for. -
SirNose586
And I can tell you why I'm so worked up about all this. I didn't have any good freinds for many years. I was homeschooled, and our congregation was lacking people my age. But now we're in a new congregation, with lots of people my age. I decided I was going to make freinds, so I did.
For the first time in many years, I have FRIENDS. I can forget about how terrible it is to be alone.
Ultimately, it IS all thier choice. I can only lay out the facts.It's just hard for me to do that, because I want them all OUT. I can't help but invision that they're on thier death bed, the watchtower recently disbanded, wishing their WHOLE LIVES weren't wasted...And that maybe, if I had just tried harder...
I can definitely sympathize with your situation.
For half my life, I was in a congregation of mainly older folks. I would often find myself seated alone, up in the front, because I couldn't work up the nerve to talk to people. People would see me and have pity-conversations, but ultimately I hadn't made any friends, and I certainly didn't have anyone I could hang out with. For a kid of no more than 10 years, I was sad and didn't know what to do.
In '95 we changed congregations and now there were finally young people I could hang out with. I looked up to them, but most of them ended up going nowhere in the religion; drama between the kids created bad blood in the congregation. Close friendship still eluded me. About 7 or 8 years ago, some friends moved into the hall, and these were kids I had been close with since '95. At last, things were falling into place. I was part of this group, that group, and I loved it! I had gotten what I desperately wanted since '95.
Fast forward to now. The great social situation has mellowed out, but it's still good. I have two or three close friends, guys I can really identify with in the hall. It's the fear of losing these friends that keeps me from just bolting out of the hall and not looking back. The bottom line is that I know where you're coming from, no doubt.
You know what your role is. You must be like Morpheus. I seriously would get a pack of Jelly Beans or Mike & Ikes and get a red and blue candy if they ever wanted to make the leap and leave the org ("Remember, all I'm offering is the truth. Nothing more.")
I've read that feeding doubts into a Dub's mind is like feeding fish--only do small amounts, and spread them out far apart. So you want to get your friends out? I do too. Unfortunately, not everyone can make the jump. The closest of the three friends I have at the hall lives close to me. He is a smart young man, in some ways more clever than myself. But he's been disappointed by the org. Two good friends of his have been df'd--one was reinstated, but I don't know if the other has been yet. This kid knows how to spit, and he could've had a shot at going pro, but he knew he couldn't have that career and still be in the org.
I feed doubts in his mind whenever I can, but there's much work to do. And he has no clue I'm a shadow apostate.
Part of what I do is make sure people actually think about the crazy stuff they are supposed to believe in, but don't think about normally. Case in point, the dub belief that Jehoover's gonna get every man, woman, and child who isn't part of the org. Today I worked with a pioneer who just flat out said that to a householder, and explained that God's gonna kill the kids too, "because some of them are really bad." The householder didn't catch that part or something, because I couldn't believe how out of touch this pioneer was to say that! After meeting I met some friends for dinner at a Japanese hole in the wall. I related to them what this pioneer said about killing the kids. I said, "You know, if God's going to heal certain kids, but then kill some, you shouldn't say that out loud! You might run into someone that might have compassion for them at the door!"
They all looked uncomfortable for a moment. Was it indigestion? Cognitive dissonance? I certainly hope the latter.
That could be a tactic. The religion can hang itself by its own words. You just have to put them out there, because Dubs try not to think about them too often if they want to be happy.
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bernadette
That could be a tactic. The religion can hang itself by its own words. You just have to put them out there, because Dubs try not to think about them too often if they want to be happy.
I like that point sirnose.
anony-mouse
congrats on thinking freely.