Do You Get Any Pleasure Out of the Holidays Since Leaving the Watchtower?

by jayhawk1 28 Replies latest social family

  • Little Drummer Boy
    Little Drummer Boy
    I wonder if those who never had the restrictions of no holidays really enjoy the holidays and their birthdays or if they just simply go along with it because of peer pressure.

    Sometimes yes, and sometimes, no. It really depends on the person and their experiences. Certainly Christmas can be a time that people would rather have a different experience than they do. I have never liked being "forced" to give people presents. We did have some of that feeling this year, and I didn''t care for it. It all came from people who shouldn't be bringing us things but did, such as my relatives, who I hardly ever see just showing up at the doorstep with gifts. Then we felt guilty because we hadn't planned on getting things for them. I didn't like that. But read on...

    I wasn't born into the borg, but came into it as an adult and was in/around it for about 14 years, so maybe my perspective is of use to you. Wife and I were baptized in '94 and had done the whole "study 2 books and be un-bapt. pubs" thing. Both wife and I had always enjoyed the holidays, mostly for the usual reasons. I have a rather personal and lengthy post on my reasons for enjoying Christmas as a kid which you would be able to find pretty easily through my post history. It was on a thread about holidays back in December. I won't go into that now though; it's a painful topic for me in certain aspects, rather long to explain, and for now it is enough to say that I always looked forward to Christmas. Wife's experience was more normal (and positive), and she liked the holidays for the standard reasons.

    We DA'd together in September. This Chritsmas was exciting for both of us and emotional for me in particular. We were both glad to simply have our lives back again and to make our own choices. Because of ideological uncertanties relating to religion (we have both gone through a religious backlash of differning degrees), we kept religion out of the holiday. In other words, Jesus was not the reason for the season for us. As a dub, I was convinced that such a thing isn't possible, but it is. It really is possible to just have a tree, non-religious decorations, and to just simply enjoy the prettyness of it all. It was very rewarding to be able to spend time with our families (everybody else related to us has never been a dub).

    I mentioned it being emotional for me, and it was. It is difficult to even type this without tearing up. Although my wife and I had celebrated the holidays before the borg, we had never done so as a married couple. Our son, now 9, had of course never experienced any holidays or birthdays. Being together as a family on Christmas morning was just so exciting, and I was looking forward to it. I knew my son was eager to open the presents, but I wasn't prepared for how it would effect me. One of the first things that was opened was a gift from my young son to me. He had picked it himself, purchased it with his own limited money, and it was a very thoughtful and useful gift. He thought Dada might like this cool scew driver with interchangeable bits that store in the handle because I am always needing one to keep in the house and seem to have to go out to the garage a lot to get one.

    I don't care how unmanly it may sound, but after opening his gift, it all hit me, and I sat there in my chair just clutching this screw driver to my chest with tears streaming down my face. Here was an example of true, pure, thoughtful generosity, and even though the gift was small, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Anyway...

    I don't know how we will feel about the holidays as the years go by, but our first Christmas together was very nice and I don't see why that would change.

  • Tyrone van leyen
    Tyrone van leyen

    Don't know , I have never celebrated ANYTHING EVER!

  • Roger
    Roger

    I know what you mean jayhawk, but I do derive some pleasure from some events.

    I find that when I'm wished Merry Christmas or Happy New Year, it sticks in my throat a little when I return the compliments, I know that's definitely a JW hangover. I have quite like the run-up to christmas and new year, seeing others in a festive spirit. I quite like work parties and the like. The actual days are invariably anticlimatic.

    Easter and Valentines Day, couldn't care less about. I do like Halloween, like the darkness and autumness about it all. And I love Bonfire Night, I don't think that travels over the pond though, does it?

    Birthdays are for other people. Not so bothered about my own, in fact I get vaguely embarrassed about the fuss, but birthday's are for everyone to have their own special day; a time for others to say 'We appreciate you', and I think that's nice because we don't do it any other time. And if that's their only function, that'll do me.

    Oh, and kids. Kids love any holiday.

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    I will wait & answer after the credit card bills arrive.....

  • Xena
    Xena

    Easter - Leaves me cold, we don't celebrate it.

    Valentines - Not real big on that one either, but that could be because my Valentine lives 6000 miles away.

    My Birthday - I enjoy it, it's fun having a day to celebrate yourself for a change.

    Daughter & Fiance's birthdays - I love trying to make it special for them. Everyone deserves a special day!

    Thanksgiving - I'm all about family and food so this one is great.

    Christmas - For me when it comes to gifts, it's mainly for the kids. But I admit I do love setting the tree up and other trappings. This Christmas my daughter and her aunt made stockings for all of us with our names on them. Slowly we are building traditions and getting special oraments for the tree. We also had people we loved (with one exeption who couldn't make it) around us at dinner and after. This, for many reasons, was the best Christmas ever!

    New Years - This was the first year I really celebrated it and I had a blast! From what I understand it's really big in Scotland so I expect to have many years of fun with this holiday!!

    Halloween - I haven't really gotten into this one myself but I am wanting to. I'm usually to busy getting my daughter ready to go out I don't have time for myself, plus we live in an apartment and don't have anyone coming by for candy. I would love to have a house to decorate and give out candy to kids.

    4th of July - I like the fireworks but don't do much myself that day.

    I think that about covers them.

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    Yes! I am enjoying all of them and this was the best Christmas ever. We kept it focused on family and Christ, not how many presents we could get - and it was great. Lilly

  • BlackSwan of Memphis
    BlackSwan of Memphis

    The thoughts supplied here should give you some ideas.

    Here is one more. For several years my husband would give his mom and other special people in his life gifts on his birthday. I think he gave his mom and another woman he considered a mom type person, flowers.

    The idea was that he was thanking them for being a part of his life. Perhaps you could try to adopt that view.

    Or, take the oppurtunity to raise money for others who could use the money being spent on you. UNICEF or other local charities would genuinely appreciate it. Perhaps have them donate something in your name. That would make you feel better about yourself and being alive.

    You don't have to "celebrate" any birthday or holiday in a way you don't like. But there are other ways to enjoy a special day that makes you feel good about yourself.

  • MeneMene
    MeneMene

    Simply, NO. Even though I have not been a JW for almost 3 decades, I still find no joy in the holidays. All those years growing up the kids in school swapping Valentine cards, making Easter baskets, etc. made me feel out of place. Guess all those old feelings of isolation are still lurking in my brain.

    When my kids were young I found out from other JWs that Otasco stores put all their games & toys on sale half price the day after Christmas. I always took the kids and they had a ball buying new toys. I let them exchange Valentine cards and participate in other school things because I did not want them growing up feeling so "different".

    We never decorated and I still just can't get into any of that. When people at work would give me little presents for Christmas it always made me feel bad because I hadn't bought them anything.

    We usually did have a feast on Thanksgiving. The JW part of the family at first didn't want to participate but I explained it's just a day everyone is off work and the turkeys are on sale really cheap. Didn't take them long to get used to those dinners!!!

  • megsmomma
    megsmomma

    You know how vacations go....they are really fun to anticipate...then you are there and it is not all that you dreamed, then you come home and it's over? That is how holidays are. Don't put too much emphasis on them. They aren't there to make or break your life....they are just days that have potential for special memories.

  • evetteto
    evetteto

    Hello Jayhawk,

    I've never been a jw, however my sister was in the borg for 25 yrs. Whilee we were growing up we celebrated each and every holiday...didnt matter which...we celebrated. She was involved with a family in her teens who were jw's so she took on that religion...cuz my mom didnt push religion on us bcuz of her exp with religion as a child I suppose. During her jw days she didnt celebrate but it was a struggle for her, she wld become so depressed.

    She is no longer a jw, but gets upset bcuz her children dont buy her mom day or xmas gifts, but honor their father with gifts. This rekigion has her so confuse abt the holidays (pagan). This past Thanx'g she said I hate this day...I replied "This is the day that The Lord has made!!"..so she goes to the store and buy turkey and the fixins for the day...Christmas she came down to help me serve the homeless xmas dinner. She has a very giving heart, wld give her life to help anyone, nothing like what I have seen in the jw org whith just the few that I know, always looking for a handout. The jw's in Las Vegas wld call her the flamboyant witness cuz she is a really nice dresser....bottomline is she too is tormented with the jw belief on holidays, but learning to rejoice in them!!!

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