I have a 3 year old girl, and she is WILD... She has recently started completley disobeying, talking back, slamming doors, spitting at me etc. It is getting miserable to go anywhere because she throws fits, runs around resturants screaming. At dance class, her teacher had to send her off the floor because she was the only kid running around and woud not listen. I spent most of the dance class chasing her around the dance floor. I did just have a baby two months ago, and while she is wonderful to the baby, I m sure some of this has something to do with adjusting. But I spend all day trying to please her, play with her as much as I can, and spend as much time as I can with her, and all she does is throw tantrums. She only does this to me, she is great when my Mom has her, which makes me feel like the worst Mom. But how do I disipline her during this adjustment phase??? I donlt want her to resent her baby sister. I am not a spanker, and time outs only work part of the time. By the end of the day I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown trying to keep up with her. She has always been so sweet, i feel like I am doing something wrong, dropping the ball somehow???? Any advice?????
Anybody have a three year old??? HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!
by mama1119 28 Replies latest jw friends
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candidlynuts
write to the dog whisperer? he gets doggies to behave anyway LOL
as far as the tantrums go, ignore them... walk away and let her throw her fit ( at home anyway..) in stores or other places.. you pick the kid up and leave. it wont take long till she figures out that tantrums result in consequences she doesnt like. expressing your displeasure and using calm language to tell her how ugly it is to act like that works too..if you yell or threaten stuff you just fire her up more.
the ignoring really does work, i had a kid that at 3 would bang his head on the wall or hard wood floor he'd get so mad. i was terrified he was going to brain damage himself.. old doctor in his 80s said..walk away.. ignore it and he'll quit doing it. and it did work.. after about 3 times of me walking away and ignoring him, he quit doing it.
good luck. she'll grow out of it and you'll love her again till she hits pre puberty at 8 or9 and starts whining 24/7 LOL
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BlackSwan of Memphis
Well first each situation is soooo different and what works for me may not work for you.
But I'll give it a shot.
With my 4 year old, who was 3 last year ....
Candidly is right on the money.
Ignore the tantrums. She's doing it to get you to pay attention to her.
Something else I do is when she starts screaming at me, is tell her quite firmly, but definitely Not yelling at her, that the only way I will even listen to her, is if she stops yelling at me. If she doesn't (it happens still but much less) I tell her that she needs to go to another room to do that and when she's ready to be nice to come back out and we'll talk.
IF we're in a store, I get what I absolutely need, then leave. If she is running around then I pick her ass up and stick her in the cart and make her sit and let her scream. Trust me, parents have been doing this for centuries and it's nothing others haven't heard.
If I'm at the mall, we leave without a pretzal and slushie.
Small rewards and lots of hugs and kisses for doing things that make you smile and whatnot are very helpful.
I know it can be frustrating. Hang in there.
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whyamihere
Take a deep breath................she is NORMAL!
I don't spank either. Time outs work in most situations.
OK, you had a baby and she isn't number 1, so she is throwing a fit. Fit is OVER, enough is enough! Get down to her level and say "stop". Tell her what you don't like about her "new" actions. Remember, don't talk down to her, get down to her eye level and speak with a calm voice. You may think that she is way too young to understand, she isn't. 3 year old's are very smart.
Don't panic, those buggers smell fear!
Also, if she is throwing a tantrum, the TOYS can take a time out. Oh yeah, I said it, TOYS! I have taken all my daughters toys away and locked them in a room. Lily learned real fast.
In public, just take her to the car and wait. Tell her to get all her kicks and screams out in the car. There is no point in throwing the tantrum if it doesn't bother you. Or, you can use the bathroom. Don't go "shhhhhh, honey keep quiet." Don't threaten her with a broken promise. Don't suggest a punishment and not follow through it. Also, talk to her before you go in the restaurant.
This will all pass. In time you'll have your baby turning 3....lol
Brooke
p.s. anymore question feel free to ask me.
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Alwayshere
If your not a spanker, you will have to put up with it. It won't do any good just to give a couple of spats. Soon as they learn who's boss , they won't look forward to a good spanking. Went through that with my Son.
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BrentR
You always hear about the "terrible two's" but three by far was the worst for my daughter also. All of the above advice usually works. My wife and I do not give our daughter anything with refined sugar in it. For that age group thier bodies turn it into rocket fuel within seconds. I have heard that theory shot down by so-called "experts" but you can not ignore anecdotal evidence. The rare time my daughter did get refined sugar she turned into a psychotic demon. So now it's reserved for special occasions which are fairly numerous since we are not raising her as a JW.
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Princess
Candidly and Brooke are right on. You have to ignore it and/or make it very unpleasant for her. If she gets a payoff of any kind, she'll do it again.
My kids are 21 months apart. Three was hard because the youngest was rapidly approaching 2. Now they are 8 and 10. They fight like crazy but I'm still hopefull.
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moanzy
When my daughter was 3 she was HELL!!! She would scream the "f" word all the way home if I didn't give her something from the store, she would throw her boots as far as she could from the cart and scream so loud I thought her head would burst.
She broke my nose because of her temper and she would throw her bookcases in her room, kick the walls and door. I had help with her, being that I had a new baby and I was crying all the time. I learned first and foremost is use distraction. If you can head off a tantrum before it begins, do it!! When it's inevitable I would put her in her room and make her stay in it until she was done. I had to make sure it was safe since she was destructive. Sometimes I would make a timeout for myself and lock myself and the baby in my room and tell her mommy needs a time out and I will come out when she is going to be nice. ----she still through a fit, kicking the door and screaming. Eventually she would quit, at times lasting for 20min or so.
I had my mother-in-law come running over from down the street wondering what I was doing to this kid. Some kids are just over the top nightmares even though some of it is normal.
Don't feel bad about your parenting, if you feel guilty they will be able to tell. Remember you are preparing for "attitude" as they grow older.
Moanzy
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UnConfused
Now you know what it's like to live with a woman!
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juni
All good advice. I have two 3 yr. old granddaughters. They won't pull their stuff on me at all. That's normal though because I'm not around them 24/7. But at home they do it. When you send her to her room make sure she doesn't have toys to play with, otherwise what punishment is that?
Always follow through. Mean what you say. Talk to her about why she was punished after she's done her time in the room. Another suggestion, if you are able to, leave her w/someone when you go to the store or wherever and tell her that only when she can act nice will she be able to come with.