How to handle a stinky roommate?

mrsjones5

I'd go for the blunt but leave out the rude. He's an adult living in someone else's home. He should be on his best behavior since he's a guest. But some people are really unaware about their body odor. We had a friend like that, well he was more of a friend of my husband's than me, so I told the hubby to talk to him - I thought it would be less embarassing if it came from the hubby instead of me.

Rayvin

So.. just say to him.. "can you go brush your teeth now?".. I have had convos with him discussing others brushing habits and how nasty it is if my hubby hasn't brushed his teeth first thing in the morning. Hoping he will get the hint. Also..since he has stayed here i have had to clean pee from around the bottom of the toilet EVERY DAY. I made an anouncement to him and my hubby to make it seem like i was saying it to the men of the house not just to him. I said "there are disinfecting wipes for you men to wipe around the toilet after you are done".

lawrence

Is being just blunt and sorta rude the only way to get someone to take better personal hygeine?

Yes. From experience there is no other way I had a roommate who was a pig and a slob. The subtle suggestions didn't work, the notes didn't work, the postits on the refrigerator didn't work. The harsh truth worked until I got tired of the reminders to bathe, to clean up the house, to wash dishes, etc. Finally his filth got too much, so I had to say goodbye. At the end, John didn't understand why people bathe daily, and brush their teeth multiple times, never mind keep a house clean. That bus ticket couldn't come quickly enough.

mrsjones5

Having male guest in my house I quickly learned that they moved quicker if my husband said something to them instead of me... or maybe I was just being chicken about it. Has your husband said anything to him about his personal habits or lack thereof?

Rayvin

my hubby has assisted me in the sly suggestions of bathing. Like he will leave a towel on the toilet and say to our guest " i left a towel out for you to take your shower.". I think because I am the matriarch of the house..lol It is easier to make it the Motherly demand. I can only imagine that it is slightly embarrasing for my husband to bring that stuff up to a drinking/football buddy.

mrsjones5

I was more embarassed about it than the house guest or my hubby. lol

Finally-Free

Spray him down with a can of Lysol every time he enters the house. Either he'll get the hint or he'll start taking showers just to get the stench of Lysol off of himself.

W

mrsjones5

or spray him down with Frebreeze lol

Rayvin

lol.. i actually am having to spray down my couch with Febreze..

J-ex-W

Blunt, yes. Rude--maybe not yet. But definitely UP FRONT and not using euphemisms. You can say that you are sensitive to smells---that some people are more so and others less so, but that you are definitely smell-sensitive. Let the friend know that you really like spending time with him, but that the smell makes you want to back away from doing so...and that you know if you're feeling this way toward him, you know others are--but just do not have the guts to say so, because it is a difficult and uncomfortable thing to bring up.

In fact, you can start off the discussion by gently sitting him down and telling him that it IS difficult and uncomfortable to bring up, but that you feel it's important to do so (and the quality of the friendship is the reason why--you don't want to feel like you have to hang back in order to save your sensitive nose). The more gentle--but straightforward--you are in stating these things, the more likely success will be. You can tell him that for the sake of the comfort of everyone in the houshold, you expect specific guidelines to be followed routinely--by him and everyone.

Then expect to have to give regular, gentle 'reminders' of the house rules: Shower X times per week/ day, deodorant everyday, and teeth brushed at least once or twice per day. If you expect to have to do so, it will be less irritating to you then if you're expecting him to be able to pick up the baton and run with it. [--That's not a realistic expectation at this stage.] Some people (especially if they are depressed) fall out of good habits this way...others never develop--never 'internalize'--them, but will go along with the program as long as someone is there to remind them.

You may have to accept this role for an extended period (without resentment, just recognizing it as a limitation of his and that he is willing to work with you for the sake of harmony). He may, after an extended time, internalize the habit but in the meantime you can be happy to just have a sweeter smelling environment for your sensitive schnoz.

[If it makes you feel any better, I DID have to have this talk with a friend of mine. It was a successful outcome.]

How to handle a stinky roommate?

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