Alot of good points to ponder. Does age make a difference in your approach? He is in his mid 50's.
How to handle a stinky roommate?
by Rayvin 21 Replies latest social relationships
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J-ex-W
I edited just a little bit on my last post, so you may want to re-read. The guy I talked to was in his early twenties. I kept affirming my affection for him/ appreciation for his friendship, and I know this made a difference. That should be effective no matter what the age.
I started off saying that I saw an episode on Oprah about embarrassing medical questions and that body smell/ excessive skin bacteria some people have will make them smell stronger than most other people. I also, straight up but gentle, told him that my mom used to be obese pre-gastric bypass surgery and that having excess fat cells also means extra sweat, bacteria buildup, and stronger odor--so that for overweight people, showering at least once per day is especially important.
I said that it's not fair--to think that being overweight means you have to shower more frequently when a skinnier person can skip on occasion and be fine--but it's a biological reality. I also said that I can relate to it feeling not fair, because I have acne-prone skin problems that I have to work extra hard to stay on top of (and even with that, there's still some acne to deal with)--but that it's much better because I DO stay on top of it. So...I understand if it feels like it's not fair to have to shower extra, etc.
It sounds like extra showering is not what you're after, though--just regular showering. That's why I say you may have to be the externalized reminding voice. Not as if to a child, not as if to an errant adult...but as if a rule supervisor and enforcer in a friendly, informal, work environment. Friendly and businesslike. Not personal...just good business practice. Does that make sense?
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poppers
When I was in the Marines we had a guy in our barracks who always smelled real bad, so we bodily took him into the shower and forced him to clean himself. It wasn't subtle but it worked. Semper Fi!
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ButtLight
I think if its your hubby's football drinking buddy, he could make the blunt move during a game lol. "Hey man, Im not trying to offend you, but YOU STINK!" Go take a shower and brush your teeth!
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misanthropic
I don't know this may sound rude but if I had to deal with that, I'd tell him that you have rules that everyone has to shower and brush their teeth on a regular basis. That's just gross.
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love2Bworldly
Sounds like my brother who likes to visit me on a regular basis. He does not bathe regularly, brush his teeth regularly or wash his clothes, and to top it off he smokes and has a dog. Thank God he doesn't have bad BO even with all that, but I don't like to hug him.
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Rayvin
I was thinking about why I am not embarressed to say anything. Its because the disgust overwhelms my anxiety. It is just gross. And I am a person that doesn't fully believe in the "love someone for who they are inside". Cause If they have rotting teeth I am not getting close to them to get to know their insides. I have had guy friends like that and they wonder why I wouldn't take them off the friends list and date them. HHHhmmm....
I will try to see If I can get him to brush his teeth tonight.
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ButtLight
I will try to see If I can get him to brush his teeth tonight.
I gag easy, so I would go for the shower first lol
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Bumble Bee
Do you have children?
If so you could say you are trying to set an example for them, and teach them proper hygiene. That a person needs to shower every day, use deodorant, brush their teeth after every meal, and especially for boys to clean the toilet bowl if they are not always accurate with their aim.
BB
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juni
This guy is a friend of your husband's? Then he should buck up and tell his friend to get his act together while he's there in your house. No choice. That's how it is. Otherwise he'll have to stay somewhere else.
Juni