You Need a Good Talking To

by The wanderer 17 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  The wanderer

  You Need a Good Talking To

  Looking back, I realize that one of the biggest turnoff’s in
  the organization was when individuals made it their business to become
  involved in your personal affairs.

  Turning Away from the Organization

  There were three or four incidents with circuit overseers and
  elders and there needing to “adjust” my thinking that eventually
  contributed to my eventual downfall in the organization.

  Did anyone say anything mean-spirited or become involved in your personal
  affairs so much that it was a major turnoff toward the religion?

  Respectfully,

  The Wanderer
• 

  AuldSoul

  Yes. Although, I didn't identify it as a turn-off to the religion until I started noticing that it was the norm and those who were not meddlesome in the private affairs of others were the exceptions.

  (1) An elder in the Marrietta North Congregation (Georgia) told me to dumb down my comments at the meetings. No, it wasn't jst2laws, but he served on the same body as the guy.

  (2) An elder told me he didn't believe it when I said I was too sick to go to the meetings. I showed him my SSI (Supplemental Security Income) check stub, but he was not to be shaken from his view. He assured me he wasn't calling me a liar, he just didn't believe me.

  (3) A Circuit Overseer told me that I needed to spend less time reading and studying and more time in the ministry. This struck me as very odd at the time; it wasn't until many years later that I realized he was afraid I would leave the organization if I kept studying and reading so much. Only by giving yourself over to the busy work can the cult maintain its control.

  (4) An elder told me I was spending too much time watching movies. When I asked how much time I should spend watching movies he responded, "Less time." He was rather frustrated by my pinning him down on the point. I made clear to him that I couldn't find any Scriptures setting a standard on the point and that I couldn't really understand why he felt comfortable going beyond what the Scriptures say, he became irate. He ... bellowed ... that I was unappreciative of his counsel. I replied that I appreciate any counsel that comes from the Bible, but that he hadn't shared anything like that with me.

  Looking back on my life I have come to the conclusion I never was a JW.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
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  Dismembered

  Yes. I had a broom-closet drinking "elder" who approached me one time and told me I need to be careful with having alchohol on my breath at a meeting. I'd tell him to kiss my ass today.

  Ended up, he got "deleted" or told to "step aside" for drinking and making a total loud-mouthed-ass out of himself at a summer cook-out. Dunker than a skunk, and running his mouth lika a runaway train. What's that scripture about removing the telephone pole out of your cornea.......

  Dismembered
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  bernadette

  Auldsoul

  Looking back on my life I have come to the conclusion I never was a JW.

  Nowadays in criticism my hubby tells me that all the time - I'm taking it as a compliment

  bernadette
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  blondie

  Rarely, toward the end did any elder "interfere" in our family. My husband would look at his watch and see how long it would take for the elder to "bellow." Last time, 60 seconds. How they hate your asking for a bible answer; how dare you suggest that God has more authority than they do.

  Blondie (always soft-spoken, really)
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  mrsjones5

  the title of the topic brought to mind the phrase "you need a good spankin"

  
• 

  LongHairGal

  Rich:

  Yes, in the early years people would try to get me interested in housecleaning (I have a 9-5 office job). I wondered why would I do that? Here I am a citizen with marketable skills so why would I do housecleaning?? They said it was because I would have more time for service, etc. Well, that isn't so. I did a house with somebody once and realized it wasn't for me. For one thing, it took too long and I would have to do several houses in a day (forget it). In addition to the fact I hated it, and there would be no sick time or health insurance, etc. Also, people also got curious about my finances and asked nosey questions which made me wonder and scared me a little. I never asked anybody for anything so why was it their business?? It wasn't their business, of course, and I never really answered them. For some reason, they must feel a woman is an idiot who will just open up to anybody.

  I realized then that these people are simply meddling idiots with a tinge of jealousy.

  LHG
• 

  AuldSoul

  I just remembered another while typing on a different thread:

  (5) I was counseled by an elder on inviting "weaker" JWs to gatherings/volleyball games/etc. I asked the counselor whether he felt it would be more likely that the weaker ones would stay in The Truth™ if they had no upbuilding association. He said that wasn't the point, it was a matter of protecting the ones who weren't yet weak. (Yeah, I know...strobe lights should have been going off in my mind. But I was raised in and blind to the flaws.) I informed the counselor that until and unless such ones were no longer Jehovah's Witnesses, they would be welcome. I invited him to show me Scriptures to indicate I should have a different view.
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  AK - Jeff

  Yep!

  I guess the 'dissonance' was bleeding through a little, though I was unaware at the time.

  I was told to quit making comments at the Watchtower study that 'implied' that the elders and others were not applying the 'law of Love'. I didn't quit making them and was warned I 'was walking on thin ice' though that was never explained.

  I had forty years of it really, looking back. I just never was good at kissing ass. Knowing what I know now, I would have told 'em to kiss mine.

  Jeff
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  done4good

  There are too many to list, probably, but here are a few:

  1. I have a job that requires considerable travel, (you can guess how this goes over with the BOE, and others). I've been told to quit my job, and find alternative employment many times. (usually by office cleaners, window washers, etc).

  2. "Brother we know how dedicated you are, but you must be more VISABLE in the fs if we are going to appoint you" That's what they said to my face, I heard terms like "floundering" through the grapevine.

  3. "Brother, how regular is your family bible study?" (As if that could fix my relationship with my brain dead ex-wife)

  j