I'm still making my way through what is an excellent book by Ron Frye, former JW and C.O. I found one of his comments interesting. On page 68 he speaks affectionately of his wife Mavis...
"I especially depended on her because she was observant and discerning. She often saw things that I would miss. I also felt comfortable asking her opinion about a particular matter or situation to get feedback, knowing I could trust her confidentiality."
Former elders, did you sometimes do this?