When i broke free, i knew all the teachings were nonsense. About a year after I left, a huge thunderstorm broke free and my car was hit with enormous hailstones. My thought, in a nanosecond was "Armageddon has begun".
I've never been more pissed at myself than in that moment. brainwashing goes very deep, it takes time to get rid of it. Analyse your fear and don't run away from it. It will go away eventually.