Remember my mom?

Sparkplug

So it has been a bit since I wrote seriously on here and today I had a great reminder of what I am up against.

My mom has deteriorated fast and I really am not looking forward to what I am going to need to do regarding her.

She and I have had a strained relationship if you have read any of my older post you sould see how absolutely ugly I felt about her. Well this month she fell and hurt herself 4 times in a day. We think she may have had a stroke and her mind is not holding up all that well. for instance when I took her to the docs for her test (scan) of some sort the other day she had no idea what she was allergic to. So I know she is slipping mentally fast. She was crazy before, but now she is crazy and has lost her mobility.

We had her in a rehab for her to try to gain some mobility back but yesterday she was sent home. Today my brother came over and let me know that she needs to shower twice a week. So I let him know that if I have to do this hell he needs to go and replace the shower head on his bathrub. Make it a long one with a lot of play and today later he will call and let me know when this is done.

When I cook meals now I am to help by trying to pack up a few meals off of my dinner and help him have it in the freezer for her. He will be preparing all her meals and taking her to doc appointments and helping with her with her meds etc. My job is to show up twice a week and help her wash clothes and change her bed. Shower her.

I am so not looking forward to this. AT ALL!

Anyone have to go thru this? Any ideas to make the shower go faster and more smooth. I swore I would never do this, but it looks as if I have no choice. So even tho it messes with my mind and I have such mixed feelings...I have no choice and until we can get a person to come and stay with her and help her, I am it.

Grrrrr.....I want to just kick a few things.

Mystla

I wish I had some answers for you, this really sucks!

All I can give you is a big (((HUG)))

Remember that this is only temporary and will be over soon (hopefully)

Misty

juni

Hi Decki,

I know for me that day will come sometime. My mom is 81, but is still very active and looks to be at least 10 years younger. Thank god for good genes! I have few wrinkles for my age. We have not had the most wonderful relationship through the years, but I still feel it is my obligation to her for taking care of me when I was a baby and toddler.

What I would recommend for the shower would be a bench seat made for the tub or shower stall. You can rent them or look into the cost to buy. Also a long hose w/the shower head on the end. I think that's what you're having your brother fix up for you? That way you can direct the water a lot more easily for washing her hair, etc. Perhaps a large over size soft cotton towel. Also, they have baby bath wash that you could mix in some water which would be gentle on her skin and easy to wash off. Just pour some of the wash in a small bucket and add warm water.

I had taken care of a woman who had a stroke. I'm thinking of ideas that I found helpful for her care. Keep in touch if you need other help w/suggestions.

Juni

Sparkplug

Mystla~ Thanks. I sure need that now. Feel like crying and not sure why.

Juni~ They sent me a transfer board to put her in the tub. My brother just called and he got a shower head and I go at 4 to try this out. Damn if this is not gonna suck. I hope not too badly. I sure wish she had stayed as spry as your mom sounds. Any info you have might help as this progresses. I appreciate it.

garybuss

Hire a dog groomer.

juni

Gary you are sooooo bad!

Sparkplug

Gary...Not that that thought has not crossed my mind.

cruzanheart

It's gonna suck. Bigtime. First of all, see if you can find out if she qualifies for home health care under ANY plan -- Medicaid, Medicare, insurance. If she does, USE IT and get someone in there to help. If not, just brace yourself because when parent/child roles are reversed, it feels wrong and yucky and hard. MAKE your siblings help. It's their responsibility too and you shouldn't have to do all of this by yourself.

Secondly, make sure you have a well-stocked liquor cabinet. I never had to bathe my mother (thank God), but putting her in the nursing home myself (and getting her back in after she found an unlocked door and escaped the same day) was worth one bottle of wine. Cleaning their house and finding my dead uncle's false teeth in a drawer was worth another bottle.

It's a hard road, but you are a strong person and you may, like me, find a grim pleasure in the previously unplumbed depths of strength that you don't yet know you possess.

Hugs,

Nina

Sparkplug

Oh Nina!

it feels wrong and yucky and hard.

I want a fork to gouge my eyes out with about now and I am opening that bottle of wine I have been sitting on. Nope no modesty in my mother and I swear I am going to freaking have to have a lot of Valium, for this . Took one hour and went off without a hook....except she is not shy and perhaps should be. Who knows. But as far as siblings. My one brother and I. That is it. My JW siblings aside from him do not live here, will not take her in and refuse to help. After last weeks fight with my one sister she decided to send money.

But until we get help...I think bathtime is on my own. gag me

restrangled

Dear Sparkplug,

As hard as this is going to be you can look back and feel wonderful once it's all over. Please PM me, as I am not going into the nittty gritty here....its too heavy, but I would be happy to give you all the emotional support and tips I can give.

r.

Remember my mom?

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