Sparkplug, I'm very sorry to hear of your mom's deteriorating health, but I'm very touched by your willingness to care for her now despite your less-than-great relationship with her.
Many years ago, my elderly mother-in-law went blind, lost her mobility, and grew senile as a result of long-term diabetes complications. My husband and I briefly cared for her in our home before admitting defeat -- it was a 24-hour-a-day job for me and my husband to care for her properly. We truly did not want to put her in a nursing home, but eventually we had to, for her sake and ours.
I have three suggestions for you. First, explore and take advantage of any and all options available for outside help -- nurses' associations, government agencies, anything. Don't try to do it all yourself. You'll wear yourself out very quickly.
Second, check out a medical supply store. There are bath benches, special stepstools, and other relatively inexpensive equipment that will help immensely with your mother's care and safety.
Third, keep your mind open to the possibility that you may eventually have to admit your mother into a nursing home. I know a woman who worked for many years in a nursing home, and she told me that it's often a mistake to try to care for a severely disabled parent at home. She said that the extended stress and strain such care puts on a family can lead them resent the parent they had once loved, and the parent ends up in a nursing home anyway. Her advice was not to let the family be torn apart by the intense work and stress from such a situation -- if the nursing home is a good one, it may in all probability be able to give your mother better care than you can manage on your own. Just something to keep in mind.
Remember my mom?
by Sparkplug 17 Replies latest jw friends
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parakeet
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outoftheorg?
As another poster said, " do ask for home health to assist you ". They will come in several times in a week and will do the bath thing and some cleaning and checking the patient and their meds etc.
When things approach the nearness of death, check with "hospice". They will set up the needs for a dying person and instruct you in how to deal with this and will also come every few days to check on you and the patient. They also usually have a certified counselor to help you and your brother with the mental and emotional stress.
These two groups usually have several ways to handle the financial strains and often " with hospice" it costs you nothing.
""You will endure a lot of stress"", so please do work with the counselor. After it is all said and done, you will have another several months of help from the counselor if you wish so.
You also will be proud of yourself for helping a loved one, even if your relation's were not that good.
Be aware that you and your brother may also need some anti depressive or anti anxiety meds as this will be an emotional drain.
Even if things are not too good with you and your family, it is the good person, the strong and kind person who still does what is right and is admired for doing so.
I should add this, contact home health and hospice and they will do the research for help from the various agencies that are involved in this sort of thing. The insurance companies just love hospice, since they cut the money they would have to put out, down significantly from hospital stays.
Outoftheorg
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Abandoned
(((sparkplug)))
Looking after elderly family members can be difficult. In my real life, I've never been fired from a job ever. My dad, however, has fired me twice from giving him rides to his dialysis treatments. LOL! That always makes me chuckle.
I wish you the best.
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RAF
(((Sparkplug)))
I'm not in hurry to be in this situation ... (one of my sister is ... not in hurry but ready to be there for that) it helps to think that she is willing to do it and think about it way before (we pay she takes care) ... but who knows? she might not be able at that moment for any reason ... and in knowing how old people are treated in some carehouses ... well I guess it'll help me to think about getting involved myself ...
wish you'll find something in doing it that you'll enjoy (who knows?).
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Tigerman
Just spray her down with some Lysol . . she'll be okay.
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avishai
Do you have a shower chair for her? I've worked with medically fragile, etc. folks all my life, and they're great! The chairs that is. It's late in your neck of the woods right now, but i'll give you a call tomorrow, O.K?
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sass_my_frass
be brave!
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Es
Oh hun big hugs, Im here if you need anything ok, just email me or pm me.
Keep strong
much luv es