by unbeliever 25 Replies latest jw friends
I was watching this show in passing and they had a woman on there that said she loved her husband more than her children. She said by putting her husband first it made her marriage stronger and happier and therefore it made her a better mother.
I did a double take when I heard that. I don't think it is normal to love a spouse more than your child. I think there must be something wrong with the woman. Maybe she needs counseling or something,
Depends. Am I married to Ted Bundy, or his mother?
Seriously, I think it's all a balancing act. The bond with a spouse is supposed to sustain you as a couple for your livelong years--some sixty or so, let's say. The children--if parents have done their job well--are supposed to grow up and move into the sphere of their own lives after tweny-some-odd years of raising. Which means you and your spouse are supposed to be together as a couple for yet another forty or so years after the kids have come and gone. A whole lot of love--from both partners--needs to be poured into that spousal arrangement for it to truly work out that way.
So...if that woman was really thinking in terms of balance...then I could agree with her. I think it would be easier to not let the kids pit parents against each other--and create discipline wars--if each spouse has a strong sense of their united bond as a couple. To some this might feel like loving the spouse more than the kids.
But if she was thinking in terms of competition (either/ or), then no. But it always comes down to balance.
I hate how people always have to define something when it wasn't needed to begin with. The love between a child and a spouse should be two completely different things that one shouldn't need to quantify.
how people always have to define something when it wasn't needed to begin with. The love between a child and a spouse should be two completely different things that one shouldn't need to quantify.
I agree.
how people always have to define something when it wasn't needed to begin with. The love between a child and a spouse should be two completely different things that one shouldn't need to quantify.
I agree that it is a different kind of love for each. But I would have to say, my love for my children is definitely more intense. Maybe that changes as they get older and are less and less dependent on you, I don't know. But at this point, they would win out. Plus they are alot cuter than my husband :)
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I was watching this show in passing and they had a woman on there that said she loved her husband more than her children. She said by putting her husband first it made her marriage stronger and happier and therefore it made her a better mother.
I did a double take when I heard that. I don't think it is normal to love a spouse more than your child. I think there must be something wrong with the woman. Maybe she needs counseling or something,
Are you saying that, you couldnt love your spouse more than your child and therefore that is not normal. Are you saying what you feel is normal. And anything that differs from what you feel is normal.
I've always found it difficult to ascertain what is normal. Maybe there is something wrong with everybody.
Then again most people I have ever met are full of sxxt, after you know them for a while they will come right and tell you so.
Maybe she needs counseling or something
I'm sure there is a long line of phd's waiting to service her account.
Love is a pretty hard thing to pin down, in terms of a definition, in the first place. So I guess I think it's weird that this woman would take the stance she takes, but she's really just throwing words and concepts around anyway. I happen to think her words and concept of love for spouse vs children is lame, that's all.
For me, conceptually, I agree that love of spouse and love of child are two different things (though I don't agree that they are two completely different things). Given that, why set up a competition in your head or heart where none has to exist? Why not decide to love both equally, but differently?
The love between a child and a spouse should be two completely different things that one shouldn't need to quantify.
Yes. Love can't fit in a measuring cup. Perhaps she felt that her love for her spouse was more than
brotherly or emotional or loyal love. She had those for her children, but also had erotic and romantic
love for her husband. They were compared on different levels. Perhaps it isn't interesting unless they
gave it some strange twist.
I know that when I was still attending, wives who were also mothers were being strongly admonished, firmly instructed, that it was necessary to put the husband first and the children second, always. That this would be properly showing respect for headship and would lend toward a healthier family.
One Circuit Overseer was very staunch on this, and I believe it was also in print. What I don't recall is whether the women were also being told they should actually love their husbands more than their children. If that were the case, what a joke! You love whom you love and however much you love them.
Personally I always tried to be very supportive of both my children and my husband, though I had little respect for him as a man; I did care deeply about him in spite of my lack of respect and romantic love for him. I defended him and took care of him always. He just didn't take care of himself or return the favor with regard to his wife and children.
I also think it would be very sad if a woman loved her husband more than her children, that this would be pretty unnatural, and would probably stem from selfishness or fear of some kind.
