A quick question:

by Vinny 18 years ago 32 Replies latest 18 years ago jw friends

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  Vinny 18 years ago

  I disassociated one year ago. No meetings, no memorial no nothing since then.
  
  There was one JW young man that talked to me continuously and who also lived right next door, 25 yrs old, a best friend of my step-son, (we all fished on my boat at least a half dozen times together). Anyway, he was killed last Wednesday in a motorcylcle accident. Was passing a car on a curve when a pickup truck came around the corner head on. His funeral is Saturday. Unfortunately for me, it is at the Kingdom Hall. I do not want to put on a suit, drive to the Hall, walk through the doors, see all of the same people, sing a Kingdom melody and listen to another JW funeral discourse, (which as most know is really only another JW Witness opportunity with the dead person's life relagated to somewhere in the background). My deprogramming has been going nicely!
  
  But, I really liked this kid. And he was very close to our family, being one of my stepson's best friends. If I don't go, I feel as if I really look like some heartless loser here.
  
  What would you do?
  
  Any other suggestions?
  
  Thanks ahead of time.
  
  Vinny

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  Sparkplug 18 years ago

  I say go. That is a small thing to go do for your stepsons best friends funeral. It will passs quickly.

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  Abandoned 18 years ago

  Well, who are you going to impress? The people you are trying to get away from? Do they know you are leaving? If you aren't going back and don't care if they know it, then honor your friend through your memories...

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  Sparkplug 18 years ago

  But, I really liked this kid. And he was very close to our family, being one of my stepson's best friends. If I don't go, I feel as if I really look like some heartless loser here.

  Would it hurt your stepson if you did not go? Would your family you are close to feel bad about you not going. such as your stepson?

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  SirNose586 18 years ago

  If the kid talked to you even after you DA'd, my answer would be yes, you should go. Just wear your battle gear.

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  fullofdoubtnow 18 years ago

  Much as I would hate the thought of stepping inside another kingdom hall, having da'd myself 15 months ago, I would go. You will probably feel very bad about not going, and you would be paying your respects to a friend.

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  mia_b 18 years ago

  Go to it, you'll only regret it if you don't.

  I was ignored at nans funeral but i did have hubby with me. can u take a friend?

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  LeslieV 18 years ago

  Personally I would go. It isn't about the people it is about remembering this young person. I know if it was my son and you came even though I would know it would be difficult for you...I would be more impressed with you coming then others, since it is easy for them. JMO

  Leslie

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  nicolaou 18 years ago

  I'd go. If the Kingdom Hall is stopping you then the Kingdom Hall is beating you. Forget the building and the history, this is about your friend and a sad loss.

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  Vinny 18 years ago

  Thanks for the replies. I agree with all of them, even though they are not ALL of the same opinion. And THAT is the problem.
  
  Who cares what others think; I AM OUT. I have been shunned by all of them without reason. Forget them!
  
  But then again, my stepson and stepdaughter, who still goes would be hurt, as would the parents of the kid who died along with other friends that we used to do things with. He was married for exactly one year. His wedding being the last JW anything that I went to. His wife still lives next door too. I could just write a letter, give a card, flowers etc. etc. to express mu condolences
  
  But I also think just go and it will soon pass. The other thought is how uncomfortable might my presence make the family feel? They cannot speak to me, nor I to anybody there. Probably not too bad if I just go and then leave immediately after.
  
  I am probably leaning towards going. But it sucks...

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