young, study-minded and apostate.. anyone else?

by DeusMauzzim 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586
    @SirNose586: Sounds familiar.. I also researched 607/587 and know the site you are referring to. I'm sorry for you that you can't just leave, apparently ('still stuck'). That also sounds familiar. Could you provide some more info? Or rather not?

    Ok. I'm a 3rd generation dub, my grampa is an elder, my dad stepped down from being an elder, and I am an MS. Because of my grandfather's influence, I get a less heavy hand from the elders. I am not pleased to see everyone else have to sweat it out upstairs, however...

    Because I can hash out a different and enjoyable talk every so often, I am the darling of the congregation, even though I only go out in FS when I am slated to conduct in the morning. Every so often I am told that I will be a "future elder" or a "future CO." I hate hearing these titles. "I am NOT your company man!" I would like to tell them.

    In the meantime, I keep a "mask" on, like Sir Nose d'Voidoffunk (a villian from Parliament's music). But, even though I rock a mask so no one will be the wiser, every so often I drop semi-controversial topics from the platform. I can still remember when I said that higher education was okay, because of the effect it had on Paul and Daniel. The audience froze in place when I said that! It was priceless...

    Whenever I get the chance, I try to see how my wiser friends will react to certain ideas or apostate-influenced lines of logic. Thankfully I haven't been turned in yet. My goal is to be subtle and force them to confront the very ideas they've been bombarded with all these years. When one of them is ready to learn, I will be there with my secret data file, as it were, like Morpheus and the red pill.

    In regards to how exactly I came here, there is one aspect that I neglected to discuss. I was on myspace and trolling for the profiles of bad kids in my congregation, when I stumbled upon a pro-dub board. There was a young man from Atlanta who was making fools of them. He would make an accusation, and they would respond with familiar lines of responses. He still shot them down and made them feel uncomfortable. At the time, I would've been on the Witnesses' side. But something didn't make sense. Was he really right? Why couldn't they defend his attacks?

    Only after that did I decide to look at the biography of Nebuchadnezzar. I was shocked to find that his reign was a uniform 19-20 years different from whatever the Society said. I was disturbed, but I made two rules as to how I would treat this information:

    1. Someone was right and someone was wrong.
    2. Big differences cannot be ignored. Prophecy rests on these dates (607-1914)

    Time and again, I found nothing but support for 587/6 BC being the destruction of Bablyon. Out of desperation I created an escape clause: If only ONE other secular source agrees with the Watchtower, I would call off the whole thing.

    I guess you can see how that turned out!

  • DeusMauzzim
    DeusMauzzim

    @SirNose586:

    I can relate to many of the things you said.. I'm also 3rd generation. Being the study-minded 'the-original-greek-says-brother' does not really help when you finally find out... although it does help you to find out in the first place. I remember making some comment about the etymology of 'diabolos' and being praised by the DO.. if only he'd known my thoughts :) As for keeping underground, I also played that game for a while.. like Morpheus, indeed. But there are no Neo's left in my cong, so I'm pulling out my cards.. to be honest I've really had enough of it... my family will absolutely not be influenced by me, my friends are out now, so I'm beginning to fade away, like a shadow. The only way to win the game is to stop playing very slowly, in my opinion. You have a right to live your own life as well.

    How long do you want to play the game? Do you have any plans for the future? What will happen if you just say 'I don't believe it anymore' to your family? Please provide feedback, or you can PM me.

    Regards,

    Deus Mauzzim

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    I was nearly 16 when I left the WT. Never was baptised. Folks were beginning to expect that from me (very young baptisms not encouraged at my hall, thank God!). I 40 now. Best move I ever made! Welcome to the board. You are a brave soul/life/person/ :)

  • drew sagan
    drew sagan

    Welcome to the board!

    I got involved with JWs when I was 15. Baptized at 17. Wasn't untill I was about 23 that I started to have doubts that became solid. When I first became involved I studied a lot, but as time when on I became quite board with it. Funny how looking back I can see how frustrated I was that they never actually produced literature that helped you study the Bible. Eventually I got my hands on that material (and a whole bunch of other stuff) and was on my way out.

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586

    How long do you want to play the game? Do you have any plans for the future? What will happen if you just say 'I don't believe it anymore' to your family? Please provide feedback, or you can PM me.

    Regards,

    Deus Mauzzim

    Well, the way I want to get out might not present a window of opportunity for some time. I don't want to give anyone the impression that the escape was pre-meditated. My goal is to take offense at something, but what that something is, I don't know. I know that I certainly can't fade out. I also need to move out of the house first and gain independence. The plan is not going so smoothly, but that's the way it's got to happen.

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear Deus,

    WELCOME to the forum!! What a hard thing to go through all by yourself at such a young age!! At least you have your whole life ahead of you!! We are happy to have you here, and look forward to hearing more from you!!

    Sincerely,

    Lady Liberty

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    DeusMauzzim, Mysterious, SirNose586, Anony-Mouse, RichieRich, Collegegurl, JWdaughter and you unknown lurkers who have yet to announce yourselves:

    You are all so fortunate, dare I say LUCKY, to be making your break with so much of your futures ahead of you. To each of you I extend my baraka, and I shake my mojo bag in your general direction. May you each enjoy long, happy, productive and rewarding lives free of the LIE that masquerades as "trooth."

    We all know there is no such thing as the trooth fairy.

    Live long and prosper! Peace and long life! The Force will be with you... always.

  • wannaexit
    wannaexit

    wannaaxit: No, I haven't DA'd. I'm trying to fade away as fast as possible... Please help me understand why one would want to DA? To me it seems you're playing the rules by the org's game then.. you end up losing your family.. so they still have indirect power over your life.. or am I wrong here? How about you?

    I don't know why some feel they need to DA themselves. My husband and I are planning a slow fade. I asked if you DA yourself because in my area, a young man (18-20) disassociated himself from the cong. Of course everyone knew this to be the case because the very next week the local needs part was about apostasy.

    All the best to you

  • DeusMauzzim
    DeusMauzzim

    @wannaexit:

    It wasn't me :)

    I feel the fade strategy is definitely to be preferred. But as I've read more posts on this board I now realize that simply not all of us have this option :(

    As for me, I'm in a relatively comfortable position.. university and social contacts there, no elder dad anymore, helped my friends out.. still a good relation with my family.. they know that I really don't believe anything of it... so this is the perfect time to get through the looking-glass.

    I only wished it was like this for the others of my age as well.

    Regards, and good luck on your journey

    Deus Mauzzim

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    Hi DeusMauzzim...I have always been very research minded... read the Aid book through and through three times when I was 13, went over to to elder's homes in order to research old issues of the Watchtower and Awake, always much more interested in the Bible than in the "organization", wrote school research papers on christology (at the time, supporting the Society belief), etc. Then when I started going to college at age 18, I discovered all the material written by Russell that the university had, I read Penton's book, Timothy White's book, and had an enormous amount of resources to do research on biblical topics. The Society released the same year the Revelation Climax book which I realized was a piece of "special pleading" eisegesis, not a real explanation of Revelation, and then the Trinity broshure was realized which I recognized right away as dishonest concerning the early christologies and theologies of Christianity. Finally, I started to do my own original research on a few matters (as I was taking classics classes at the time, including two years of Greek and Latin) and found yet again that the Society was either dishonest or completely incompetent in citing sources in support of its teachings....I gradually faded and left for good when I was 22....

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