How long?

XBEHERE

How long until they really start cracking down on me? Any former/current elders especially. I am currently an elder and basically miss at least one meeting a week and never go out in service on Sundays and seldom on Saturdays.

A few of my fellow elders have already started the: "How are you?" "Everything ok with you?" and the PO already tried unsuccessfully to "sit with another elder and talk to me". I basically kept cancelling on him and then eventually called and said that I was just under stress from work. He then pulled the "well we just wan't you to know that we are all here if you ever need to talk.

So what do you think, how long do I have before the shit hits the fan?

mia_b

No idea, i was just a female publisher so it took them 3 months to notice i'd stopped going altogether! lmao

Rooster

You can go another two or three years before something happens. As long as the "Publishers" don't complain you can go on for years. Meet for Sunday service and then leave by yourself, because you are going on a bible study and you are picking up your wife to go with you.

The question is how long do you want to be an "Elder". Just say NO!

AK - Jeff

I think that kinda depends on you to some extent. What is your 'plan of action'? Are you planning on 'fading'? Or are you indecisive on that? Do you intend on staying as a Jw? Or just in name?

Once I learned the 'truth about the truth' I couldn't stick around. It hurt to leave, but hypocricy was not for me [tough I know some feel obligated to take that road due to family - no intended insult toward them].

So, are you a game player?

Jeff

ex-nj-jw

I have no idea, I left when I turned 18 and I'm a female. And as we all know females are low class in this cult!!

avidbiblereader

I think that kinda depends on you to some extent. What is your 'plan of action'? Are you planning on 'fading'? Or are you indecisive on that? Do you intend on staying as a Jw? Or just in name?

Jeff has some really good points, when is your next CO visit, they will not allow this to continue and you really should have a plan or something to give back. They will try to help for an additional 6-12 months unless you spill your guts but they wont wait forever. Time for some honesty on your part.

When I was an elder the rest of the body can detect pretty quickly any deviation and especially if you were zealous. If I were you, I would step down unless you want some big issue to face when the CO comes around and they question you like the Gestopo

"We have ways of making you talk"

abr

XBEHERE

As long as the "Publishers" don't complain you can go on for years

Rooster, good point. I think that most of the publishers like me as I am down to earth...normal if you will. I suspect that some of certain elders relatives will be quick to state the obvious about my abscence to "daddy" or "uncle" so I may not have years...or months who knows.

Jeff: I don't know what I should do.. I have stopped going to meetings as often and service as much because I just can't stand it. I hate it and its all a waste of my time. Truth is my wife likes the status that being elders family bestows upon us and I don't fault her for it, what else can women strive for in this cult especially since she hates pioneering. I don't want to be an elder anymore but if I step aside she may not like it. I guess I am kinda hoping they notice whats going on and ask for my resignation. Then I will remain a publisher in name only.

Mrs Smith

I can't believe I lived like that for so long..........wondering how long before the sh*t hits the fan. I was so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Haven't been to meetings for almost nine years now and still have not seen an elder. Wonder if they think I'm still there.......lol

sspo

Well, how long have you been missing meetings?

If it's a couple weeks usually that's no problem, if it goes for months you will be reminded

of it and if there is no improvement on your part, you can kiss good bye to your eldership.

I beleive that's what you want so keep up your good work

Madame Quixote

As long as the "Publishers" don't complain you can go on for years

XBHERE said:

Rooster, good point. I think that most of the publishers like me as I am down to earth...normal if you will. I suspect that some of certain elders relatives will be quick to state the obvious about my abscence to "daddy" or "uncle" so I may not have years...or months who knows.

Jeff: I don't know what I should do.. I have stopped going to meetings as often and service as much because I just can't stand it. I hate it and its all a waste of my time. Truth is my wife likes the status that being elders family bestows upon us and I don't fault her for it, what else can women strive for in this cult especially since she hates pioneering. I don't want to be an elder anymore but if I step aside she may not like it. I guess I am kinda hoping they notice whats going on and ask for my resignation. Then I will remain a publisher in name only"

My response (sorry can't get that quote box thingy to work):

If you're worried about your wife's opinion/status, maybe you should just go back to school to advance your career - maybe go into (medicine or engineering or) something that will enhance your finances and status all around . . .this will also help you with good excuses for a continued fade/re-location.

Note that it's quite amazing how many JWs get over their fear of worldly influence due to their upward mobility and education; and many actually remain JWs in good standing while becoming upwardly mobile. My family is a perfect example. They're extremely materialistic, and some were educated, and some even went to college, etc. My JW brother got an engineering degree and sis is a computer network engineer and mom got her AA degree in Golf course grounds maintenance. Both parents own a bunch of golf course properties. They got some shit for it, but ultimately, the bOrg/Society gets over all that upward mobility because members who are devout AND who make good money, put a lot of good money back into the Society. You will hopefully find better things to do with yours - like move on and build a happy and self-directed life.

Hope you can find a way that works; living a lie didn't work for most of us here, although many still can't fully leave, and we do understand that. Stay in touch and best wishes with whatever you do.

How long?

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