Was your life totally disrupted? Did you lose a lot of family and friends?
Was It Easy For You To Leave "The Truth"?
by minimus 30 Replies latest jw friends
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nicolaou
'No' it wasn't easy and 'yes' I have lost family and friends - but it was totally worth it. I've been thinking of writing up my story . . .
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blondie
Actually my JW family made it very easy for me not to be around them ever. After some really screwed up things I heard said from the platform by a CO and DO (even after 40 years of hearing screwed up things said from the platform), I decided I had enough. My family, the "brothers and sisters" made it very easy to leave. But it took me 15 years to catch on. I no longer have to be kicked when I'm down 20 times to get the message.
Blondie
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Madame Quixote
No, it's very hard to leave. But with knowledge, understanding, support and outside friends, it's easy to stay away. Prozac can help, too.
Like Blondie said,"But it took me 15 years to catch on. I no longer have to be kicked when I'm down 20 times to get the message."
sometimes it's hard to move on, like a Stockholm syndrome thing, esp. for those of us who were born & raised in the troof (which makes us hostages).
It's hard to accept that your family and friends (who shun you) won't just move on to better things, too. And they do tend to kick you when you're down, at least emotionally - lots of emo blackmail and such; it's very damaging and counterproductive; good to stay away from it, but not always easy to stay away from familiar pain. . .major challenge for brainwashed people like us . . . as most of us were.
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fullofdoubtnow
I suppose my exit wasn't too bad, considering I have no family in the org. I lost all my jw friends, but have since made new, non conditional ones.
Leaving something that has been your life for so long is never going to be easy, though the decision to leave was once I realised it wasn't the truth.
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minimus
I have ABSOLUTELY no desire to ever go back. I planned my exit slowly, deliberately and carefully.
I have no regrets and fading was fairly easy to do for me.
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misguided
No, it was very difficult for me to leave. But the pain is definately worth the gain.
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mia_b
No it wasn't easy - it took me 6years after i had shopped my dad for molesting me and he got the support and not me. It was slow because i was depressed and had no self worth. Plus i knew i would lose all my friends and family (i hoped i wouldnt but knew in my heart i would lose everyone but my mom and i was right) Very difficult to motivate yourself then! I started out trying to make non jw friends (i had no idea how to this and it didnt really work cos i had no people skills and no idea how to speak to non witnesses) and in the end met simon the most wonderful man ever. he supported me, held me when i cried, got angry on my behalf, let me discover my self, let me make all the first moves, respected me when i said "no" (i did say "no" lots even though i always made the first move, just to make sure). I lost my friends and all my family but my mom but it was worth it just for simon alone. My self worth is so much better. I dont get depressed and daydream of suicide. I have a completely different life. I'm slowly getting better. Then it will be REALLY worth it.
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Blueblades
Easy? It's never really easy. You lose something you had been connected to all those years. The loss of friends, family, for some financial inheritance, etc. The friends in my congregation have no idea why we became inactive, then the fade, finally moving away. I have no idea what the elders had to say to the congregation when we were no longer seen in the neighborhood.
For us, having the family intact and of the same mind about leaving "The Truth" made it easy on us. I would love to be able to have a heart to heart talk with all the friends that we left behind who loved my family, alas! It's not to be at this time.
I think about revealing who I really am on this forum, in hopes that someone might respond who knows me/us, but, I still think about the fall.out and repercussions to follow. I am not ready for that at this time. So, was it easy for us to leave the truth,knowing what we now know about it, for us as a family, yes. For those we left behind, who have no idea, no.
Blueblades
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collegegirl21
It is really hard leaving. My parents have changed a lot this past year and they've been really nice and understanding. Its actually quite odd, so it will be a little harder leaving than before. I am ready to move on, I am not going to DA myself, I am just hoping to move away and come home when I need to.
I don't really have many friends in the religion right now, so that won't be an issue. When I got reinstated, I made sure I kept a distance from everyone. But I can't imagine it being extremely easy for anyone leaving because most people who are in have families that they love and want to be around.