by truthseeker 29 Replies latest jw friends
Truthseeker:
I have experienced the same thing. People who used to call me up have stopped. I believe that I must make them afraid. Apparently, I must be a threat because I am not following in their footsteps anymore. They have invested so much in this religion that they feel they have to keep hanging on. They will, therefore, avoid anybody who reminds them of anything different.
LHG
I feel so sorry for you. It's just they way they are, though. "Marking" is just a step before reproof and disfellowshipping but it has more or less the same effect--people are afraid to talk to you. If you were raised in the org then you know all this but when it happens to you it is SO painful. I was raised in it too but I was never considered really "good association" since I was way too quiet and shy, didn't comment at the meetings unless I was forced to, and dropped out of the ministry school as a teen. Plus I painted depressing and possibly demonized pictures and wrote untheocratic poetry. I did pioneer one month because my Dad put so much pressure on me, and yes, the difference was amazing. I was suddenly more popular. Then, the presiding elder discovered that about 5 months before I had not turned in any time for field service that month so he came over and told my Dad and me that I was going to have to be dropped from the Pioneer list. They both said "well, you can still put in the hours". Yeah, right. Anyway, my heart goes out to you. Hang in there.
Dear Truth, I am sorry that you are already feeling the wrath of these loving bro's below is how I feel about it from a scriptural point and maybe it can shed some light on why and if this is proper
Those who used to be friendly and greet me no longer do so. Some even avoid me. All this is happening, yet no one says anything to me about my meeting and field service attendance.
This is actually scriptural that they don't talk to you about it, there is nothing written on performing such to a point that it needs to be addressed, Dont go beyond the things written, they have nothing to comment on when it comes to counting time and 5 meetings a week, Luke ch 4 says our Lord went according to his custom on the Sabbath, that is only once a week.
A few do still talk to me, and these are what one might consider the "outcasts" - those who are weak.
Gal 6:2 2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
It's a strange feeling, and makes me uncomfortable. I have done nothing to these people.
It's weird reading about this happening to others on the forum and then seeing it yourself for the first time
In line with obey the law of Christ and saying we are CHRISTian interesting what is said about Christ in 1 Pet 2:21-23 21 For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.
22 He never sinned,
nor ever deceived anyone. [ l ]
23 He did not retaliate when he was insulted,
nor threaten revenge when he suffered.
He left his case in the hands of God,
who always judges fairly.
Also Christ said in Matt 5:43-48 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends,how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect
Only two elders have mentioned talking to me about various "points", but none have got round to doing it, even when I do go.
Jeremiah 23:4 And I will raise up over them shepherds who will actually shepherd them; and they will be afraid no more, neither will they be struck with any terror, and none will be missing,” is the utterance of Jehovah.
What's really weird about this, is that the last service meeting item was about showing love to neighbor and showing a GENUINE interest in people. Of course, that doesn't apply at the Kingdom Hall, but only for recruitment.
1 Pet 1:22 Amplified Trans 22 Since by your obedience to the Truth through the [Holy ] Spirit you have purified your hearts for the sincere affection of the brethren, [see that you] love one another fervently from a pure heart
That is all I got to say about that, the scriptures speak louder than I can and that is why in Hebrews 4:12,13 says
12 For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable
abr
What's really weird about this, is that the last service meeting item was about showing love to neighbor and showing a GENUINE interest in people. Of course, that doesn't apply at the Kingdom Hall, but only for recruitment.
Your situation seems to fall under "fear of one bad apple spoiling the whole barrel."
You are no longer a peoploid you are a magazine salesman who's numbers are down. Have you ever read the book "Death of a Salesman" Or seen the movie "GlenGary Glen Rose"?
How about scribbling in 10 hours a month on the time slip and if questioned about it say "youve been witnessing at work, before work, on the bus, etc". Lying to liars is no big thing.
If you really want to belong to the club, you need to do what the club members do. If you are not down with that, you need to join another club or be an independent like Los Lobos.
The whole genuine "love and concern" for one another in Dubdom is a misnomer. Again (as it's been said many times before) it's one of the teachings of the Jehovah's Witness clan. Hardly is ever practiced, and if it is, more often than not, it's spurious.
Dismembered
Truthseeker,
I can relate. Its been about a month or so since I "stepped aside" as an elder and the congregation (who wasn't very social with us anyway) has basically dropped us like a hot potato. Even my wife, who is still a commenting, somewhat zealous JW is starting to feel the isolation. Like you, I never thought I treated folks like that, if they were friends, they were friends no matter how many meetings I saw them at. To experience it first hand really is the icing on the cake, isn't it?
Wife says it's partly my fault for not going as much and people don't know what to say to me. Load of rubbish IMO. You don't stop talking to people because you're irregular in meeting attendance.
My husband said the same thing to me! I would ask him why no one was calling to see how I was doing and he would tell me that I was most likely considered "bad association"--which is funny, my behavior has not changed since I quit going to meetings!
Black Pearl:
Heck, I've recieved more love from "worldly people" than I ever had from "christs followers". Going to the Kingdom Hall became sooo difficult because of such a lack of love, I dreaded it.
Me too. But if you ask my JW family my "worldy friends" will turn their backs on me soon because they are big fake jerks. Sorry you are dealing with this, Truthseeker. It sucks to learn how things *really* are, after a lifetime of believing/trying to believe that it's how they tell you it is. I think this religion may have originally had some noble concepts, but today things have gotten so out of hand, and all its original ideas been thrown by the wayside. Now it's just too easy to keep controlling people's lives in order to profit financially. Why stop now? I sort of see the WT leaders in the same light as all government leaders.
As many of you know, I am a witness who still attends for the sake of my wife.
My meeting attendance has dropped to about 50% and I make maybe 1 hour a
month in field service, although I report more than this to keep the elder's off my back.
I stay a JW in name for the wife and the mother. I am still above 50% attendance
but getting there- about 60% right now. I am also ZERO hours of recruiting for over
4 months now.
My BOE are actually not gossipy about me. They are the only ones who have marked
me. I am not invited to their stuff anymore (poor wife is pretty much excluded too) but
the rest of the cong. is so busy with their lives that they haven't really noticed. I think
they are starting to see, though, as I continue to fade faster and faster.
While I am thrilled that my BOE don't invite me to dinners, and while I do not wish to
meet with them, and I couldn't care less what people say about me, I know it will get
worse for the wife. She might get the pity sisters to associate with her- these would
be the single 25-40 years old pioneer sisters that feel sorry for her. That would only
help her to see how good she's got it as a married low hour publisher.
Truthseeker,
What you describe happened to me after I “slowed down.” Then, after I stopped going to meetings, an elder came by my house and said I should return to God and to meetings so that I can have “limited association.” “Limited association?” What is that supposed to mean? No thanks! I’ll find friends elsewhere. I don't need that kind of "association."
