I was what you call "born into the truth." It's all I've ever known. I'm not practicing the religion now and I was never baptized. My fiance is baptist, we care having his Pastor whom I very much like marry us. The problem is my dad is an elder and he keeps pressuring me into trying to choose a judge or government official to marry us. Is there anything in the JW belief that would prohibit my dad from attending my wedding just because a pastor is marrying us? I plan on confronting him and have him decide one way or another. I just need to know what angle he may come from. Thanks in advanced.
Question for Elders or Ex-Elders re: Marriage
by mya 41 Replies latest social relationships
-
-
sammielee24
Will it be in a church? That's a no-no for certain. sammieswife.
-
mya
No it will not be in a church. It will be at a country club, both the ceremony and reception. We were just going to have him dress in a regular suit and not tell my dad....but he insists on the information before hand. I would really like them (parents) to be there. But if they decide not to then I will deal with it.
-
greendawn
The dubs are loaded with prohibitions but I believe for marriages is up to them to attend in a church or not. Since they believe all other religions are satan's babylon they will feel very nervous about attending.
-
blondie
I might mention that the WTS is stricter now about attending weddings of inactive JWs (or active JWs) who marry non-JWs. Elders and MS have been removed from their positions simply for attending and regular pioneer sisters have been removed from the pioneer list.
Your father might be getting some pressure trom the elder body he is part of.
Blondie
-
mya
That's what I'm thinking. That he's getting pressure. If it's personal choice then I can get on him about that. I just can see that this is going to get very ugly.
-
willyloman
Mya:
First, sorry you have to go thru this with your father.
As an elder, he is under tremendous pressure to toe the party line. And the party line is, There is absolutely no wiggle room when it comes to mixing with "false religion." Having a Baptist (or any other denomination) minister preside at your wedding will be viewed by him, and more importantly all his JW friends and associates, as "touching the unclean thing," which is a big no-no in their eyes. If he gives in and attends anyway, he will be labeled as "spiritually weak" by his JW associates and he will very likely lose his standing as an elder and be asked to resign (or be forced out, depending on the personalities on the body of elders).
Some posters will suggest this isn't that cut and dried, but for him it is.
You have two choices: Have a civil ceremony (no religious figure presiding) in a non-church setting, or do whatever you want. In the latter case, your dad won't feel like he can be there. No amount of reasoning is going to have an impact on his feelings. You're asking him to set aside his convictions and his position in the congregation (which is probably important to him), so don't be surprised if he picks the organization over his own daughter.
I wish I had a better response to your question, but this is a cult you're dealing with.
-
Justitia Themis
It really has gotten bad. I attended my good friend's daughter's wedding. Her daughter is almost 30, and though she was baptized at 12 or 13, she stopped attending, became inactive, and married a non-believer. My friend brought some of the wedding pictures to the KH to show people. Some "brothers" and "sisters" complained. The elders asked her to put them away and not show them. ...heavy sigh....
Justitia
-
mya
This is weighing heavy on my heart. But I will have to deal with it like I've been doing for the last 31 years of my life. Where the KH always took precedence over award programs, school plays, and everything else that wasn't either KH, theocratic ministry school, field service, or whatever else!!!!
-
zarco
mya,
Nothing would prohibit your family attending your wedding other than their own conscience. If you are not baptized and get married in a church your family can attend with no consequences from the Congregation. Your father is probably afraid of what others may think and maybe you, or your fiance, should talk to him about his conscience.
zarco