Mya, my daughter got married a couple of yrs. ago. My good friend, an elder since the 1950's, attended. She was inactive and married a "worldly" man in a hotel by a JP. My mother, her grandmother, a Regular Pioneer since the 1960's also attended. BOTH were deleted! And in the case of the elder, he asked the PO if he could go and the response was ''It's a conscience matter." The CO came around a few weeks later and the result were deletions.....So unless you don't care if your dad gets removed......
Question for Elders or Ex-Elders re: Marriage
by mya 41 Replies latest social relationships
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zarco
Minimus - was your daughter baptized? If not the CO should not have removed anyone. mya is not baptized.
I realize it is insane to debate WT policy - but just wanted to clarify for mya
zarco
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Billzfan23
It's up to his conscience, but if it is in a church it's frowned upon, if there is any religious ceremony that he would be a part of, it's a huge NONO
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blondie
Actually those with appointed positions (elders, MS, regular pioneers) are held to a higher standard now and the local BOE and CO call the shots. Thus one BOE may not be as strict as another. The WTS is concerned about the "example" being set by the appointed people.
Thus you have situations as minimus tells about. It could be that 5 to 10 years ago it was different but now BOEs can and have removed elders, MS, and regular pioneers for attending weddings of JWs (inactive or not) to non-JWs even if the person performing has not religious background and the location is secular.
Blondie
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zarco
Blondie,
I do not think that is true, although I only know what goes on in my area. The issue is baptism. The issue is not inactive vs active.
zarco
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Doubting Bro
I agree with Zarco, both on the WT rules and the insanity of them!
Mya, if you were never baptized, then its a conscience matter and your father shouldn't be deleted according to WT rules. Now, he may feel like he can't go because its in a church.
If you were baptized and are now inactive/df'ed/da'ed and he went to the wedding, he would likely be removed. If he participates at all (even buying flowers), he will be removed.
Mya, I'm really sorry you're facing this situation. Its a shame what this "religion" does to people to make them put their kids in second place.
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minimus
Noooo, the issue isn't baptism. (My daughter was baptized). For a parent to go to a wedding that involves marriage to an unbeliever, especially when a father is an elder or in a appointed position---he is viewed as sanctioning that marriage. If someone was raised a JW, never technically got baptized and the father is an elder and he enjoys the wedding and the worldly festivities, he'll be in trouble. Baptism is not the key factor. What type of MESSAGE does this send to the congregation????
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Irreverent
MInimus and Blondie are correct on this one. As much as you would like your father to toe the "conscience decision" line on this one; the WTS will nail him going to a wedding that is not proper JW sanctioned wedding ceremony. He will be removed as an elder if he attends.
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zarco
minimus,
I understand and agree with you logic. My response from a WT perspective. It gets especially difficult because the WT encourages young ones to get baptized young. Nevertheless, if one attends a wedding of a non baptized person - church or not - there are not any official consequences. The usual judgemental folks may weight in - but no real consequences.
zarco
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Irreverent
Listen Newbie. I was an ex elder and those who were elders on this board have seen what the official line is from the WTS. Maybe in your experience, you haven't seen this kind of application; but we have. So, spout your opinion; but remember that others here have perhaps more experiences with the WTS than you have. Just my opinion.