OK, I apologize for this impromptu introduction/rant, but I am reeling right now and really have no where elso to turn.
Let me start off by giving you a little history of what has gotten me to this point. This post might be a little long, so you might want to dust off those
reading glasses.
Anyways, my parents were baptised as dubs in the pre 1975 frenzy to make it to the new system...if they only knew 30 some odd years later...suprise, we are
all still here. They attended and brought me along until I was about school age and then they fell away, until I was about pre-teen and then we went back
(perfect timing, right...) As a young adult I hated being different and had alot of identity issues, but being that I was a good kid I did as my parents
wished and went along. We were never really strong in the troof, but were more like "fringers" as I like to call them. My Dad never was never appointed as an
MS or anything and we did the usual OMG it's the 29th of the month, we better go out in "service" thing.
So at about 16 or so I was getting pressure to "take the big dip" and get baptised. All of my friends were doing it, so I kind of went along with the crowd
and did it too. Little did I know what decision would lead to all these years later, I had no idea of the "seriousness" of it at that age. So fast forward a
few years and this time all of those little dublets I thought were my friends were getting engaged and married, so I decided that it was a good idea for me
too. (besidedes I was 19 and had needs) Nothing like making big decisions with a clear head.
After about a week of marriage to this older sister (4 yrs. my sr.) from a "good dub family" I relized what a mistake that was. She passed her self off as
something she wasn't and married me under false pretense. I was miserable and ended up on prozak and some other depression crap. Little did I know that the
only reason I was depressed was that I hated my life and my wife.
So hey, we thought maybe having a kid will make it all better!! Nope wrong again, still miserable. But we had to stay together, the elders said so. So when
our child was about 2 neither of us could take it anymore, the constant fighting and hating each other. So she left, what a relief. But I soon relized she
wasn't gonna seal the deal so we could both move on, so I did it. I was DF'ed and went off to see what that "big bad world" had to offer.
Did the whole partying thing for a bit and didn't like that either. I decided I really missed all of my so called "friends" and went back to get re-instated.
All the while my ex (who is still a dub) was slandering my name from here to kingdom (never gonna) come, I would learn all of this later.
During my stint as a shunned "leper" I decided to do some reaserch on th net, I was angry and it made me feel better. I lurked on a couple of sites and read
alot of stories, that sounded all too familiar. I was really suprised at some of the WTS lies I was learning and didn't know what to think. I ended up
reading Ray's book, COC and it really put alot of stuff into perspective for me. I am an open minded person and for some time had doubts about some of the
supposed parallels that the WTS made between them and the bible.
I decided to continue my re-instatement to appease my family, but was planning my fade even then. So then yadda, yadda I got re-instated and it was a novelty
for about a week and then basically nobody talked to me again, what a loving group of people. I even had one elder tell me, after I complained to him that I
was being treated like crap, that "No body has to ever really forgive you for what you did or associate with you." That's nice, I thought, you would think I
did something personally to him. And this guy is a real piece of work too, man I could tell stories about his "perfect little dub family"
My fade went pretty well, jumped around to a couple of different halls and attended less and less in each. I think I went from door-door maybe once or twice,
and yep, I still hated it. Finally dropped out of existance a few years ago, and I can count on one hand with most of my fingers missing how many people ever
tried to contact me. Sice then my parents drifted away as they have done like a million times and my sibling was DF'ed. And all had been pretty quiet.....
Until the last few weeks and it seems like I have been bombarded with these a$$-clowns. I ran into one of the guy's I grew up with and he's an elder now.
Woopie, I'd rather take cousel from a four year old. And he mentioned that he heard I am "living in sin" (I am engaged and yes we live together) but he
didn't push the issue. I love how even after you leave, they still know all the gossip on you. I mean they didn't care while I was there, why should they
care now.
Then another old friend from the hall contacted me to tell me about his new buisness venture. And I ran into another woman the other day as I was shopping
with my "fornicatin' partner"
And then the kicker, the thing that this whole post was all about.
I go and pick up my child for our weekend visit and it (sorry, I don't want to give out the gender) informs me that it has begun to go over the "questions
for baptism", I think I died a little and probably shat a little too. Waaaaaaaaaaay to young and I don't know what to do. It came up 2 years ago as well, but
I was able to squash that attempt by writing an objection letter to the elders in thier hall. I talked to my mom about it and she said "i don't agree with it
either, but what can you do? Maybe you would feel better about it if you went back to meetings, your father and I are." (Yea, that will last like a week)
I mean come on, this child baptism crap seems to get younger and younger. They should just start dunking them as soon as thier big dumb a$$ dub mothers pop
em out. What is the difference if they baptize a baby or a pre-pre-teen who has not even hit puberty yet. A child of that age can no more dedicate thier life
to anything than an infant can. Are they that desperate to have one more number on the ole' talley? It is supposed to be an educated decision based on
weighing two options, not something your forced to do after being raised on one side for your entire short life.
I really don't know what to do, I don't think writing will work again, as I was newley faded at that point and still considered a witness. Besides that time
the child was obsurdly young. Even though, you guy's will love this one. When I wrote the letter, one of thier elders called me and one of the things he said
was so stupid. I said "the child is to young and inexperienced to make this decision" And he said "what more in life does it need to experience" I just about
fell over. I don't know, how about being a kid.
Anyways, I've rambled on long enough. I would gladly accept comments and ideas or experiences from anyone here. Trolls are even welcome to comment, but they
better be good ones,not your typical "Well the watchtower says" crap.
I hope to post more in the future, I have alot more stories and views on things that I didn't even get into tonight.
Thanks for reading.....Faded-out