I'm new....and I have a rant

by Faded-out 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Faded-out
    Faded-out

    OK, I apologize for this impromptu introduction/rant, but I am reeling right now and really have no where elso to turn.

    Let me start off by giving you a little history of what has gotten me to this point. This post might be a little long, so you might want to dust off those

    reading glasses.

    Anyways, my parents were baptised as dubs in the pre 1975 frenzy to make it to the new system...if they only knew 30 some odd years later...suprise, we are

    all still here. They attended and brought me along until I was about school age and then they fell away, until I was about pre-teen and then we went back

    (perfect timing, right...) As a young adult I hated being different and had alot of identity issues, but being that I was a good kid I did as my parents

    wished and went along. We were never really strong in the troof, but were more like "fringers" as I like to call them. My Dad never was never appointed as an

    MS or anything and we did the usual OMG it's the 29th of the month, we better go out in "service" thing.

    So at about 16 or so I was getting pressure to "take the big dip" and get baptised. All of my friends were doing it, so I kind of went along with the crowd

    and did it too. Little did I know what decision would lead to all these years later, I had no idea of the "seriousness" of it at that age. So fast forward a

    few years and this time all of those little dublets I thought were my friends were getting engaged and married, so I decided that it was a good idea for me

    too. (besidedes I was 19 and had needs) Nothing like making big decisions with a clear head.

    After about a week of marriage to this older sister (4 yrs. my sr.) from a "good dub family" I relized what a mistake that was. She passed her self off as

    something she wasn't and married me under false pretense. I was miserable and ended up on prozak and some other depression crap. Little did I know that the

    only reason I was depressed was that I hated my life and my wife.

    So hey, we thought maybe having a kid will make it all better!! Nope wrong again, still miserable. But we had to stay together, the elders said so. So when

    our child was about 2 neither of us could take it anymore, the constant fighting and hating each other. So she left, what a relief. But I soon relized she

    wasn't gonna seal the deal so we could both move on, so I did it. I was DF'ed and went off to see what that "big bad world" had to offer.

    Did the whole partying thing for a bit and didn't like that either. I decided I really missed all of my so called "friends" and went back to get re-instated.

    All the while my ex (who is still a dub) was slandering my name from here to kingdom (never gonna) come, I would learn all of this later.

    During my stint as a shunned "leper" I decided to do some reaserch on th net, I was angry and it made me feel better. I lurked on a couple of sites and read

    alot of stories, that sounded all too familiar. I was really suprised at some of the WTS lies I was learning and didn't know what to think. I ended up

    reading Ray's book, COC and it really put alot of stuff into perspective for me. I am an open minded person and for some time had doubts about some of the

    supposed parallels that the WTS made between them and the bible.

    I decided to continue my re-instatement to appease my family, but was planning my fade even then. So then yadda, yadda I got re-instated and it was a novelty

    for about a week and then basically nobody talked to me again, what a loving group of people. I even had one elder tell me, after I complained to him that I

    was being treated like crap, that "No body has to ever really forgive you for what you did or associate with you." That's nice, I thought, you would think I

    did something personally to him. And this guy is a real piece of work too, man I could tell stories about his "perfect little dub family"

    My fade went pretty well, jumped around to a couple of different halls and attended less and less in each. I think I went from door-door maybe once or twice,

    and yep, I still hated it. Finally dropped out of existance a few years ago, and I can count on one hand with most of my fingers missing how many people ever

    tried to contact me. Sice then my parents drifted away as they have done like a million times and my sibling was DF'ed. And all had been pretty quiet.....

    Until the last few weeks and it seems like I have been bombarded with these a$$-clowns. I ran into one of the guy's I grew up with and he's an elder now.

    Woopie, I'd rather take cousel from a four year old. And he mentioned that he heard I am "living in sin" (I am engaged and yes we live together) but he

    didn't push the issue. I love how even after you leave, they still know all the gossip on you. I mean they didn't care while I was there, why should they

    care now.

    Then another old friend from the hall contacted me to tell me about his new buisness venture. And I ran into another woman the other day as I was shopping

    with my "fornicatin' partner"

    And then the kicker, the thing that this whole post was all about.

    I go and pick up my child for our weekend visit and it (sorry, I don't want to give out the gender) informs me that it has begun to go over the "questions

    for baptism", I think I died a little and probably shat a little too. Waaaaaaaaaaay to young and I don't know what to do. It came up 2 years ago as well, but

    I was able to squash that attempt by writing an objection letter to the elders in thier hall. I talked to my mom about it and she said "i don't agree with it

    either, but what can you do? Maybe you would feel better about it if you went back to meetings, your father and I are." (Yea, that will last like a week)

    I mean come on, this child baptism crap seems to get younger and younger. They should just start dunking them as soon as thier big dumb a$$ dub mothers pop

    em out. What is the difference if they baptize a baby or a pre-pre-teen who has not even hit puberty yet. A child of that age can no more dedicate thier life

    to anything than an infant can. Are they that desperate to have one more number on the ole' talley? It is supposed to be an educated decision based on

    weighing two options, not something your forced to do after being raised on one side for your entire short life.

    I really don't know what to do, I don't think writing will work again, as I was newley faded at that point and still considered a witness. Besides that time

    the child was obsurdly young. Even though, you guy's will love this one. When I wrote the letter, one of thier elders called me and one of the things he said

    was so stupid. I said "the child is to young and inexperienced to make this decision" And he said "what more in life does it need to experience" I just about

    fell over. I don't know, how about being a kid.

    Anyways, I've rambled on long enough. I would gladly accept comments and ideas or experiences from anyone here. Trolls are even welcome to comment, but they

    better be good ones,not your typical "Well the watchtower says" crap.

    I hope to post more in the future, I have alot more stories and views on things that I didn't even get into tonight.

    Thanks for reading.....Faded-out

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    Wow bro I feel your pain. Its funny as you go through it you think you know what your getting into getting baptized young but its impossible to truly understand. If they were an earnest org and stood by their alleged creed they would have an age lmit for baptism. But as we know they arnt earnest.

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    I strongly recommend contacting the Circuit Overseer by registered mail and informing him that you forbid the baptism until age of majority, I would add that any further encouragement along those lines from the body of elders (or whoever specifically) in Congregation X will be construed as an attempt to estrange your child from you. Close with instruction to speak with whoever is pushing that crud at your child and stopping it now.

    A baptized child is subject to the rules of treating "sinners who know better" as though they are already dead.

    Respectfully,
    AuldSoul

  • Faded-out
    Faded-out

    Auldsoul,

    Thanks for the suggestion, I will have to find out who the CO is in thier circut. My ex and I have joint custody, so the dubs should take my wishes into account.

    Faded-out

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    If you have joint custody they have NO legal CHOICE but to take your wishes into consideration. You must proactively set the boundaries to prevent them, though. If you don't make your wishes crystal clear they can do whatever they like in view of your silence. On the other side of this there is little legal recourse unless you lay the groundwork. They are fully aware of that reality.

    I hope everything comes out okay. It really burns me up, now that I am older, when I see them try to get other young people to commit to a life-long religion at too young an age. I went under at 12 and if I had to wait 'til I was 18 I never would have done it; by the time I was 18 I knew something wasn't right.

  • Faded-out
    Faded-out

    I tried to explian that to my child, that it's ok to wait until a more mature age to decide and that there is nothing to gain by doing it now. For the record my child is younger than you were and even though smart, very immature emotionally and socially. But I guess that's typical with dub kids.

    I will persue the course you have suggested and if I don't get anywhere my lawyer would love to get his teeth into the dubs, he thinks they are nuts.

    Thanks again....Faded-out

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Hello, WELCOME. Sorry for the grief you have gotten from this dumb religion.

    Have you talked to your lawyer? Baptising your child is effectively estranging your child from you, because of the nature of the religions belief system. You might want to document these things for your lawyer. I would have a letter from your divorce/custody lawyer supporting your demand that they refrain from baptising the child until they reach their majority (usually 18). You might also want to press for more custody/visitation. Not to estrange the child from the mom, but to develop your relationship more. Kids need their dad. Toss up as to whether girls or boys hitting puberty need a strong dad more, but thats probably cause all kids REALLY need their dad very involved in their lives.

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear Faded-Out,

    Welcome to the forum!!!

    We are really glad you found your way here. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish I had some good advise, but I haven't walked in those shoes. I know others here have, and will let them give you advise. We look forward to your next post. Hang in there!!

    Sincerely,

    Lady Liberty

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Faded,

    Remember, the Nazi's know your living situation, by writing them you are inviting the vipers into your household affairs again. They might just come down on you like a nuclear missle. Remember, if you are inactive and doing nasty things they generally leave you be, (not always as some here can attest) but most often so. Once you step into their world again you become a person of interest. Take that into consideration. If you bitch and "IT" does get baptized and they can your ass, it will be worse than ever. You will have a few years of mandatory contact, but after that it could be shunning the Daddy time.

    It's a hard call. I'd say, appeal to the reason of the mother and the little one. Hell, bribe the kid.

    Good luck.

    W.Once

  • truthsetsonefree
    truthsetsonefree

    Forbid it at all costs if you can. This was one main reason why I left. If getting a divorce stipulate it in the settlement. Do NOT lose your kid to this religion. PM me if you'd like. I can say more there.

    tsof

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