Ridiculous trips to the 'back room'

by Esmeralda 60 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  dedalus

  This is a great thread, Es! I've really enjoyed reading the "experiences" here. So "upbuilding" and "encouraging"!

  As a post script to my story, my mother told me about part of her interview with the elders. Basically, the exchange that cracks me up the most went something like this:

  PO: So, have you and your partner had the hot, passionate, lesbian sex?

  Mom: I'm not going to answer that question.

  Elder #1: Your not going to answer? How dare you!

  Elder #2: Tell us this, then: have you and your partner kissed?

  Mom: Brothers, I've kissed every one of your wives.

  ----------

  According to my mother, that stopped them cold!

  Again, thanks for a great thread, Es! Love ya back!

  Dedalus
• 

  waiting

  Damn! Dedalus!

  Mom: Brothers, I've kissed every one of your wives.

  Tell your mom from me - she wins.........hands down or where ever she wants them!

  That was absolutely The Coolest Response. You are sooooo lucky to have her as your mother.

  waiting
• 

  Stealth

  I got it once at a quick build for wearing a t-shirt with a nike logo on it.

  The brothers made me put duct tape over the logo.
• 

  Winston

  My wife and I got called to the back room for reporting our car was stollen by an elder's son to the police. We were told we were not handling this problem theocratically. We told them too bad, he shouldn't have stollen the car.
• 

  Utopian Reformist

  Hey Stealth:

  Awesome story, I can picture the elders asking you to stick out your chest and hold still while some fat pudgy uncoordinated goofball attempts to peel duct tape and then tries to rip it with his teeth before applying it.
• 

  circe

  1: For having my hair too short and looking like "KD Lang".

  2: For planning an all girl get together, which was TOO planned. If it had been more impromptu, it would have been fine. lol

  3: For dating a brother who was divorced legally, but not "scripturally".

  circe
• 

  circe

  Edited to erase my practicing stuff
• 

  Double Dee

  Hey Dedalus,

  Isn't it amazing how much they looooovvve the "gory details" of any kind of sex scandal??? I had a friend that committed adultery--she told me that she was sure that every elder should have been disfellowshipped for what they were thinking when they talked to her. They wanted every detail of the acts themselves.....And then where did he kiss you.....And then what did you do......you get the point. I could be so much more graphic...they were. They spent 3 hours on details of sex and then about 15 minutes on whether she was repentant!!!!! They decided she wasn't. (Even though she was very sorry for what she did!)

  THey love juicy tidbits!!!
• 

  DIM

  more details would be appreciated!
• 

  sweetone2377

  lol....I had invited my now DH, up to my house one night for a little conversation. Before he got there I changed my underwear, brushed my teeth, put on some nice perfume and music and lit candles. Premeditated? Maybe.....I also laid a condom on the pillow of my bed...lol....but the elders did want all the little details, how good it felt, etc, EVERYTHING! Then told me to read a chapter in Psalms. When I returned to the library, they said I wasn't repentave because I had enjoyed it at the time. Of course I enjoyed it! Even DH singing tiny bubbles in the tub afterwards while he farted in the water! lol How romantic is that?! lol Needless to say I was DF'd. Although one of the elders on my committee (only had 2 because they thought our 3rd elder was incompetent), has a sister who got drunk and had premarital sex on one occasion and then twice without being drunk. She had her commenting priviledges taken away and had to step down from RP. But that was it.

  Just all in who you know I suppose!