A couple I knew were divorced, both claimed that they had not cheated and were still alowed to get remarried. They both claimed that after two years of marriage they never had sex with each other or anyone else so the marriage was not bindng and the elders fell for that one!!!!! It would of been more believe able if they had claimed that they had not had GOOD sex for two years instead of NO sex at all. How do I know the details? My PO father in law told me.
Honeymoon Disfellowshippings
by dozy 27 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Jim_TX
This discussion reminds me of a situation that I recall...
A fella that had never been married, but who desired to 'move up' in the JW hierarchy - decided to get married, as his next step. To anyone. Well, anyone who would have him.
He was middle-aged, and had never been married. He started hitting on all of the middle-aged 'sisters'... which usually meant those who lost their husbands, or were divorced. (He hit on my mom... didn't get too far with that one.)
Anyway, he finally 'got' one. They got married. I don't know where it was in this chain of events that this poor lady finally 'woke up' and realized what a loser this fella was, but they were already married. She never 'consumated' the marriage with him - but was trapped in that she wasn't able to get a divorce from him (according to the screwed-up-jw-rules).
They never slept in the same bed - much less the same house. I think they even attended different KH's. Still married. He had no intention of 'giving her a reason' to 'scripturally' divorce him, and she was of the same opinion.
He didn't care... she did - and wanted 'out'. But - according to the 'jw-rules' - she was obligated to remain married to him.
Sad situation.
Regards,
Jim TX
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Gill
Reminds me of a JW couple who wanted to get married.
She was divorced (scriptually) from her husband and he was almost finished the scriptural divorce from his wife.
They decided that they would go out for dinner regularly as there was only a few months left until the divorce was completed.
They never slept together but STILL the pharisees DF'd them both. That was about 22 years ago and they never returned to Watchtower Land despite the regular visit for a couple of years afterwards from the Pharisees. They are still very, very happily married!
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tijkmo
in london a guy got married to a foreign girl
he was in love with her..she unbeknown to him wanted citizenship
after they were married she seperated...they still live apart..she wants nothing to do with him
his only recourse is to find someone and live with them unmarried and of course df.
cos even if he admits adultery and feigns repentance there is no guarantee that she will give him a divorce since that will affect her citizenship...and waiting 5 years for a divorce on the grounds of living seperate would not constitute a scriptural divorce..
he married for love
she deceived him..and yet is still acceptable in the cong
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sspo
(2) Proof that FMM has engaged in sex since the divorce (eg has remarried , is known to be in a live-in relationship with another or has confirmed , in writing or in front of two witnesses (eg by phone)) that he / she has recommenced sexual relationships.
I know of a case where one confessed to adultery over the phone 4 different times to her husband, he called the society and was told to put it in writing and give it to the congr. as proof that he was free to remarry.
The society allowed it realizing that couples will lie when confronted by the elders.
So it seems you do not need 2 witnesses. That was new to me.
If you want to be scripturally free to remarry, just go with someone, commit adultery, admit to the elders that you fell into it and THAT YOU ARE TRULY REPENTANT.
Depends who you are in the congr. you will get away with some restrictions for 6 months.
I've seen it done many times. Hypocrisy at its best.
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anewme
I knew one young brother who came into our hall with a particularly depressing situation.
It seems his new bride had suddenly changed her mind about being married and fled home to her JW mother!
So now he was stuck and VERY UNHAPPY.
He, in his twenties, was married but alone and told he could do nothing about it or face disfellowshipping. -
deaconbluez
Ok I'm not trying to be pro-JW here, because anybody can see the hypocricy in this situation, but how else can Jesus' words at Luke 16:18: "Everyone who divorces his wife, and marries another, commits adultery" ??
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Rayvin
My ex was not a jw and he was abusive and didn't take care of his family so i divorced him. During our marraige he told me that if I left him he would sleep with other women. When I married my now hubby and had an elders meeting they discussed this and I told them about what my ex had told me and had even recently told me on the phone. They had to have proof.. like a letter. Now why would my ex want to HELP me be okay in a religion he didn't agree with so I could live happily ever after with someone else. So I told them about an e-mail that i had that the ex had sent me and they weren't going to except it since you can easily fake e-mails. I couldn't believe it.
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YoursChelbie
Ok I'm not trying to be pro-JW here, because anybody can see the hypocricy in this situation, but how else can Jesus' words at Luke 16:18: "Everyone who divorces his wife, and marries another, commits adultery" ??
Good question. Here's the way I see it:
A marriage is like a contract. When one or both parties breaks the marriage vow, the contract becomes invalid. If someone promises to "love and cherish you; forsaking all others" and then fails to do that, the marriage is already a broken contract.
When a marriage union is dissolved by broken vows and subsequently by the LAW which exists by God's permission (Ro. 13: 1 ) the marriage dissolution is God-approved.
Adultery by definition cannot be commited by people who are not married. An act of adultery can only occur when the "marriage" is VALID. Emotional abuse would fall int the category of unloving behavior which renders a marriage invalid. No marriage---no adultery. Leave the abusive person and freely find someone who will truly love you and shows it by his/her Actions.
YC
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ramtrucker
A few months after my first wife left me for someone she met on-line, I was visited by two younger elders from the congregation that we attended. They asked numerous questions, some embarrassing, made copious notes, etc. I told them the history of our marriage, and filled them in on what she'd done to end our marriage. She filed for a divorce, in early 1999. The process took almost one year, becoming finalized in February of 2000. In March of 2001 I met and fell in love with a woman, a non-believer, and 13 months later, we married in a private ceremony at the Hitching Post in Cour D'Alene, Idaho. For several years her family shunned her, would have nothing to do with her, to the extent her only brother, (she had 5 sisters and one brother, all older than she is) all except for one of her older sisters who was non JW. Her brother, an elder wrote her a letter condemning her for her actions. On New Year's Eve of 2005, my ex married a non-believer after dating him for approximately three weeks. Last fall, one of the more elder of her sisters passed away, the victim of cancer at the age of 88. She had been a staunch JW for most of her life. At one point in my life, she was like a 2nd mother to me. My ex attended the funeral services and was treated just like one of the family. The shunning seemed to have been totally wiped out. I feel the reason she is no longer shunned, is because I married before she did. Thus I became the "adulterer" in this case, leaving her free to marry without being considered to be an immoral person. For the most part, except for her unbelieving sister and that sister's family, the rest of the family all JWs know nothing of her lifestyle while she was single. They don't know she left me for a man who promised her the world, slept with her for three days, then sent her back to our home town to file for a divorce so he could marry her. HA! She lived with upwards of 5 men after she divorced me. To me it simply means the JWs can turn a blind eye when they want to.