The "Stupid Jokes" Thread

by Warlock 43 Replies latest social humour

• 

  RAF

  ... ....
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  FadingAway

  There was a new driver for the bus on Sesame Street. His first day on the job, he awoke bright and early, went to the garage, got the bus, and set off on his route.

  At the first stop there was a chubby little girl waiting for the bus. She climbed the step and got on, and said, "Hi. My name is Patty."

  The driver replied, "Hi, Patty. Please take a seat."

  At the second stop there was a second little girl, even chubbier than the first. She got on and said, "Good morning! My name's Patty."

  The driver answered, "Good morning. Please sit down."

  At the third stop there was a little boy waiting. He was dressed in a white shirt and tie, and a suit with a vest, and he had a calculator holster on his belt. He said, "Hi. My name is Ross, and I'm special!"

  The driver wasn't impressed, but he managed a smile and said, "Please sit down, Ross."

  The fourth stop rewarded the driver with a grubby little boy with dirty jeans and torn sneakers. He got on the bus and said, "My name is Lester Cheese."

  The driver replied, "Please take a seat, Lester."

  Well, he's driving along and he looks in his rear-view mirror and sees that Lester Cheese has taken off his sneakers and is scratching at his foot. The driver pulls the bus over to the side of the rode, stops it, and says, "I can't take this any longer! I've got two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Cheese picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!"
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  avishai

  Fadingaway, that's one of my all time favorites.
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  SirNose586

  A man is driving on the road to a casino on reservation land. In the distance, he sees a tribesman with his ear to the ground. The driver pulls over to see what was going on, and the tribesman starts to speak, very slowly:

  "A 1957 Chevy....four doors....painted red and white....license number VEZ205. There are...four people in the car....two men in the front....two women are in the back....and the driver is drunk."

  "Wow," says the man, very impressed. "You can tell all that just by putting your ear to the ground?"

  "No," says the tribesman. "I just got run over 10 minutes ago."
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  dobbie

  Buttlight - i thought the ladies would appreciate the loo roll joke - it's so true isn't it!
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  misanthropic

  OK here is a really stupid joke. I heard it yesterday morning but I couldn't find this thread...
  
  Q.What did the banana say to the Hippopotamus?
  
  What?
  
  A. Nothing, Banana's can't talk.
• 

  Warlock

  misanthropic and sirnose,

  Those were really good.

  Warlock
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  MsMcDucket

  What does Osama Bin laden and panty hose have in common? They both irritate bush.
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  dobbie

  Here's one for you Warlock cos you always have a little bat next to your name (does that make you batty?):

  Why do bats fly at night?

  because they can't drive!

  What do you get if you cross a vampire with a dwarf?

  a little sucker!
• 

  lonelysheep

  "Knock, Knock"

  "Who's there?"

  "Nobody"

  "Nobody, who?"

  *silence*

  Sorry, but this is hysterical when it's an adorable 4 year old boy telling it!