Who ever imagined they would play the role of actor within the organization

by truthseeker 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • truthseeker
    truthseeker

    The Watchtower calls it "leading a double life"

    We call it survival.

    The Watchtower demonizes those who "hide what they are"

    We say "we are what we hide"

    Perhaps the strangest role any enlightened witness will play is themselves, over and over again.

    We are not talking about those who simply don't want to live by Bible standards.

    We're talking about those who know the Watchtower isn't the truth, but...

    because they have been raised a Jehovah's Witness and they have family and friends as Witnesses,

    they need to pretend they are following the direction of the faithful and discreet slave

    To do this they a) Attend meetings b) Share in field service c) Never say anything bad about the organization

    At home they are on the Internet, doing research, engaging in lively discussion and debates about doctrine

    While their family think they're doing good in the truth.

    If I was to ask any of you here, "can you act?", you might say no. But for those who are still active as a Jehovah's Witness, you are by far a good

    actor. I used to feel like a hypocrite, but someone close to me said you're not a hypocrite for keeping the peace - you're doing it for survival -

    nothing more.

    I feel no pride in playing an alternative persona. I actually get quite embarassed when I have to talk about my faith in front of fellow witnesses. But, I have no

    choice in the matter. I have too much to lose right now and not enough to gain - certainly not enough that will give me peace of mind.

    All of us here who are still going through the motions are actors. We've had to be to keep the peace, to keep our friends and our loved ones. It's a difficult job

    to play your other self day after day among this strange religion, but for some of us it's all we have - the status quo.

  • 5go
    5go

    Evangelion had it right for the most part.

    We live three lives.

    Professional

    Familial

    Personal

    Not just a double life.

  • truthseeker
    truthseeker

    Nice comment 5go.

    :)

  • under_believer
    under_believer

    I still do A, for all the reasons you mentioned. I no longer do B at all. C I profess to while at the KH, but my wife knows I do not believe, nor do I hide my feelings about the fake man-made organization from her.

    Why do I keep up the pretense? I don't know. I'm less sure every day.

  • RichieRich
    RichieRich

    So true truthseeker.

    And it perfectly describes who I was one year ago.

    I used to have an overwhelming feeling of guilt, but a very enlightened person told me that animals don't cry because they blend in- that's how they survive. And there's no shame in survival.

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586

    I feel no pride in playing an alternative persona. I actually get quite embarassed when I have to talk about my faith in front of fellow witnesses. But, I have no

    choice in the matter.

    I feel you 100%. It's like rocking a mask. If your mask slips, just put it back on again before anyone notices. It's how I haven't gotten the Back Room Breakdown yet (that and nepotism).

  • itsallgoodnow
    itsallgoodnow

    actors are wussies. I prefer to think of myself as a double agent, like Sydney Bristow in a pink wig.

  • SWALKER
    SWALKER

    Because you don't get paid or receive any accolades, it gets boring and depressing if you have to keep it up for long.

    Swalker

  • itsallgoodnow
    itsallgoodnow

    well, I definitely wouldn't be winning an oscar. my performance hasn't been getting any rave reviews. I was recently told that I am "beyond redemption". Nice. As long as it's not "Disfellowshipped" I'm still in the game, I guess.

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    What can you do? As the ancient Greeks used to say "necessity persuades even the gods", if you don't want to get hurled away from the bossom of the society away from family and friends, you put up an act.

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