Bumping into J Dubs

beautifulisfree

Is it just me or does anyone else get that 'sick' feeling when they see a jdub? I live in a fairly small town but I knew ALOT of dubs from all over the state. I can (gladly) go months without seeing a single witness...but then sometimes no matter where I go they are all over the place. I never know how they are going to react when they see me...Some say hi but MOST just turn up there nose and walk away or even hide. And although I don't hate any of them I am SO sick of seeing these people who could care less about me or my family. I hate the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I see these people. I did nothing wrong!! And frankly I am sick of these dubs thinking or saying something rude or mean about my family when they see us either to themselves or their witness companion. I can't wait till the day I just see them as an everyday stranger!!!

greendawn

They got mind conditioned into avoiding ex dubs, the FDS did it just in case they hear the truth about his rotten doctrines and past history, something they dread because in that way they could easily lose most of their members. You should also write them off and carry on socialing with people in the real world.

bigwilly

I never see dubs I know. I moved prior to my fade and never really attended the local congo. Plus I've moved aruond the state a bit.

Despite this, I still feel freaked out when I see them. It's odd to have this irrational fear of a group of people. Always paranoid they will recognize me which (as Puck will attest) is highly unlikely.

Also, when I go back to my original home town I find myself scanning the crowd and looking over my shoulder for people I knew. Not sure why it still messes with me so much.

misanthropic

I can relate but I don't know what to tell you since I've been out for years and I still feel the same everytime I run into them. It never fails for me to run into a group of elders at a coffee place I stop at, they usually sit there and gawk at me which is really uncomfortable. But I realized they shouldn't make me feel like that, I should feel sorry for them since they are the ones blinded, not me. Last time I saw this one elder in particular at the store, he makes it really obvious he doesn't think much of me. At least that's the vibe I get from the rude looks I've encountered from him. But the last time I ran into him, I looked him right in the eyes and genuinly smiled at him. he didn't know what to do, he looked away. And for some reason I felt really liberated.

willyloman

1. You need a paradigm shift: Change the way you look at it.

Have a long talk with yourself. Realize that they are the "bad guys" in the equation. They are the ones who are slaves to a cult, who ignore the biblical command to love neighbors and forgive sinners, to be tolerant of others. Recognize their shunning of you as the evil behavior it is. And realize that they are victims, too, as you were, and are being abused by their religious leaders and their screwy doctrines. Once you get all that straight in your head, it will dawn on you that you hold the moral high ground in any meeting with a dub, that they are the ones who ought to be embarrassed and ashamed. Once I adopted this mindset, I notice they are far more uncomfortable at bumping into me than I am of running into them. This allows you to feel pity for them, and that is empowering. Try it!

2. The time will come when running into them doesn't bother you, and that time will come sooner if you follow step 1, above.

fullofdoubtnow

I see a few now and then when I'm out shopping, and they all shun me. I don't really bother about seeing them now, I know I'm a lot better off than any of them now I'm out of the org anyway. If they gossip about me, and the kh I went to was a hotbed of gossip, I don't hear it so it doesn't affect me.

LongHairGal

Some years back I would bump into a dowdy virginal older sister at the shopping mall. I had a nodding acquaintance with her when I once attended her hall. She's the type raised in the religion and I wonder if she ever had a date with a man in her whole life. Once we engaged in conversation and we left off exchanging phone numbers. Of course, neither of us ever called the other. I suspected she must have asked some people their opinion as to whether or not she should bother with me and they may have told her not to. (I always got the sense they viewed me as a "vamp"). It was no loss since she was never a friend to begin with and certainly not my type although I had nothing against her.

Some time after that I was shopping there and I encountered her and some of the other dowdy sisters she hangs around with. They feebly attempted to make conversation with me. I just smiled and gave them a "nice to see ya" greeting and went on my way. Just a few years ago, I was walking through the same mall and a strange woman was walking towards me and looking at me. I didn't realize till she passed me that it was her. Of course, neither of us spoke. I didn't recognize her at first because she's aging badly. I do not wish harm on any of these people but I am appalled at the non-existent "brotherhood".

LHG

ButtLight

Hey girl, how are ya!

How come I never run into them? Maybe we should get together lol. I think I ran into 1 in the past year. Which you know who he is and how he acted) Thats fine with me though. I dont particularly care to be treated like a disease!

Jim_TX

I don't worry about them - or bumping into them.

What I _do_ realize though, is that I still have a habit of scoping out folks when I am out - and trying to decide if some (especially if they are 'suited up') are JWs or not. I guess it's a sort of 'game' with me. I will run down the list of things JWs would wear, and not wear, etc. For example, a fella in a nice suit on Sunday, and his wife (or girlfriend) next to him, wearing a nice pair of slacks... BZZZZZZT - not JWs.

It then goes down the line. If she _is_ wearing a dress and heels - I then look to see how their children are dressed. Boys usually wear suits... young gals dresses. If they fail this test - not JWs. If they pass this test, I continue looking for/at clues.

I guess it's fun... occassionally, I will get some sort of confirmation (seeing a JW publication - a dead give-away). Other times, I have to make a guess as to whether they are - or not.

But as to running into JWs I know - I just don't worry about it. If I did, I would speak to them - greeting them, and not worry about whether or not THEY have issues with talking to me.

Regards,

Jim TX

VanillaMocha73

I work with one, so I bump into her every day. She does not shun me at all.

Bumping into J Dubs

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