Much to my surprise when I found this site...I noticed that many have experienced the same typr of humiliation, asn despaid as I have throughout my 36 years on this earth. In reading some of these stories (even after being out of the TRUTH) for over 20 years...it still brings chills to my spine about how I was treated. Where do I begin? As a child, I remember being severly beaten by my mother at an early age I guess all in the name of preparing me to be a good christian. One time, I accidentlayy fell and got leaves on my sweater prior to walking itno someones hoem for a book study. My mother made me sit oustide and pick all the leaves off of my sweater before I coudl come int. When that hour was up, she took me home,made my strip naked, lay across a table and whipped me so bad until my neighbor came in and pshed her off of me. All this at the age of 6. Throughout my early years, all I knew was the "truth". Every thought, every practice, was all based on the principles of the organization. I was "mentally gone by the time I turned 10 and was baptized by the age of 13. Truthfully, my baptism was not for an unconditional love of the truth (although I did like it), however, it was to gain acceptance and approval from my "IRON FIST MOTHER".
I canremeber countless of times how I would get dropped of the the Hall to go out to field service and evryone woudl partner up, leavin gme with no partner, only having to be dropped off back at home. All this for a newly baptized brother? I will admit, when I got baptized I have no idea what was really out in the world, heck I had not even started high school yet, however, I just knew it was something that I had to do. In high school, some of the "friends" used to have bible studies at lunch time and I wanted to go to the lunch dance or hang out with friends, and not going to the "study" made me look like I was a hypocrite, because I would not join in. I can remember going to malls on the weekends and seeing elders in the congregation, and acting like that they did not see me.
my sister was never baptized becasue she was the reble of the family and ended up moving out, going to college and getting pregnant. I remember her telling my mother that she was pregnant and then she was reduced to nothing but the devil, a bitch, a whore, the devel's seed, etc... that is really how to show love isnt it? When I look at the countless unecessary abuse both physical and mental (and mostly on me because I was the youngest adn also baptized) I empathize with anyone who has experienced the same thing, yet for many years thought my case was unique. how many dreams of terror have I had that I was going to die at Armaggedon because I was not a part of the JW organization?
I was never disfellowshipped/disassociated, but had to remove myself from the organization because of the way the organization itself affected me mentally. I am now 36, educated wtih a PHS, and still have those thoughts of the last days, or that fear of death verses faithfully serving god like the "worldly" people do. When looking at this site...all I can do is shake my head and say look at what they have done.