Told wife that I don't like going to the meeting (page 4)

Axeman

Ignat it is better to look at our partners as having free minds and free will.

Did we even have a free mind and a free will as Witnesses?

jgnat

That's the paradox, Axeman. In order to honor their choices, which is the only way to freedom, we have to allow them the freedom to choose to remain in the trap.

We have to model what freedom of choice really looks like. The WTBTS may think that people are endlessly gullible, and only by arts and craft do they keep their people enslaved, BUT the ex-community is PROOF that people DO make their way out. If I help anyone come out, I hope it is because I encourage them to THINK, and honor their choices.

blondie

If you want to get someone out of a cult, I recommend reading Steve Hassan's 2 books.

This video is about 1 hour that was posted on JWD where he says that patience is very important.

If anyone is serious about helping someone out, I would read those books and watch that video.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5351483270625598640

Blondie

XBEHERE

Thanks to all of you for your support and suggestions... the flowers did help, she calmed down and started talking to me again but she said "you need to work on your attitude towards this congregation". So I need to decide when I want to start my plan, one way or another I will not be an elder anymore after this year. Hopefully before next CO visit in June, she knows I am stressed out she said and also that I seem different... so she knows something big is up in my life. I will reassure her of my love and support, but for my own health (I too was recently put on BP and Cholesterol meds) I need out of this cult!

freedomloverr

****she knows I am stressed out she said and also that I seem different... so she knows something big is up in my life. I will reassure her of my love and support, but for my own health (I too was recently put on BP and Cholesterol meds) I need out of this cult!*****

I KNEW IT!! I knew she had to be wondering what was going on with you. I think I told you before that I thought my hubby was having an affair the whole year he was doing his *research* He was so distant, scatterbrained, and was drawing away from me all the time.

I know you might wonder if it's doing any good but keep reassuring her of your love for her and your family. Try not to take too much stock in her comments about *improving your attitude* - I did the same canned answers to my husband. honestly - I had been conditioned to give those answers not because I really believed them.

give her and yourself a few days. keep reassuring her that you love her and want to share your feelings with her but you are nervous about what she may say or do. that will give you a little time to clear the air and figure out how you want to procede.

keep us up to date....

((((xbehere))))) we're thinking about you!

OnTheWayOut

Hopefully before next CO visit in June

That is a goal. I want to suggest you focus on that goal. Look for a recent
event or WT study or something that disturbs you, and can be a reason why
you decided that NOW is the time to do this.

Example- I turned in a resignation letter in August, after a GB member spoke
at the District Convention a month before my decision. I said in my letter that
I had no idea who this newer GB member was, and I realized that I was promoting
the doctrines from men that I should have complete trust in, but didn't even know
their names, or anything about them.

Once you decide a route to take- family obligations, depression, doubt- next
start researching your reasons, but include something more recent to make it
look like that started you thinking about this. It could be a study, or a public
talk, or a circuit assembly, or a judicial matter. Also- go thru your notes from the
very last CO visit. Perhaps there is something in his outline that you can use to
start formulating a reason to step aside. You certainly have your wife's own words to
formulate a reason- "you need to work on your attitude towards this congregation".

Try to get this prepared by 3-4 weeks before the CO visit. You need to get the brothers
onboard with your decision, and not spring it on the CO at the last minute. 3-4 weeks
allows them to know what you are thinking before the CO visit. Even if they are
displeased, they will be able to tell him, "Oh, he's done." Your resigning will be just
another thing on his agenda.

XBEHERE

Brief update: We are on complete speaking terms again but she refuse's to admit that she doesn't like the meetings either even though I know she has not missed going (its been close to 3 mos....I'm jealous). Meanwhile I continue to distance myself from the cong and elders I even missed the assembly last weekend.

I'd like to thank all of you for your support once again, I never knew apostates could be so supportive.

ithinkisee

Dude, Thanks for the update man. I am glad you guys are on speaking terms.

I would love to know what's going on in her head man ...

You never know if she is finally getting something she has secretly wished for for a long time or what ... you never know. Sometimes when you think they're gonna zig, they zag.

Has she really not gone AT ALL for three months?

-ithinkisee

willyloman

I never knew apostates could be so supportive.

That's why the dub organization demonizes so called "apostates" and related literature, websites. They don't want you to get any support but insist that you need and must rely on their own man-made organization.

XBEHERE

Has she really not gone AT ALL for three months?

The last meeting she went too was on December 19, 2006 so a little over 2 months yes. During that time I've maybe gone to 50-60% of them. The WT is right about one thing, the more you miss the easier it gets to keep missing them. They claim its satanic or worldly influence but in reality the meetings just completely suck!

Told wife that I don't like going to the meeting

Share this