First & Last, One-time post (page 9)

onesong

A thoroughly enjoyable thread! As for my input:

When I left the Org. nearly 2 years ago my letters to family and friends were similar. I quickly saw the pattern of judgement that I was perpetuating. So while I don't view things that way now, it was necessary for me to to have gone thru that experience to learn from it.

Indeed, my stance against the Witnesses has been softened to the point that it no longer exists. I understand that those who are still there need it ...just as I did at a certain point in my growth. 6 billion people and 6 billion paths, none more right or wrong, simply different and wonderfully unique.

As JT said, (I loosely quote) if we can use the pain to look deeper, or as I have experienced, to go above to a larger perspective it then serves a useful purpose.

It's been a wild ride for me lately, shedding beliefs left and right. Scary as hell, leaves one feeling totally disoriented and lost but then allowing for growth into a new and astonishing larger vision. Just as most of us here have shed beliefs of judgement, condemnation ect., it's a never ending process of challenging concepts of reality and moving forward. Where it goes, nobody knows.

journey-on

J T.....there is no need to apologize. As a matter of fact, I am the one that needed to be reminded of the things you spoke about. I have been involved in some esoteric studies and understand the concepts of which you speak. As I told you before, I slip from time to time back into the temporal way of thinking. You jolted me back into the realization that I need to continue on that path for the time being. I'm inclined at this junction of my journey to believe there are no accidents. That, too, sounds cliche', but it rings true to me (for now). So, to me, you were welcome into this thread.

However, having said that, let me add that one can "sit on a mountain meditating and contemplating the oneness of the Universe till they become One with the Universe," but my problem is when you come down from that "mountain", ground yourself to this physical plane, you may have peace of mind and a quiet calmness "knowing" the oneness, but it doesn't negate the fact that your sister is still not with you. You still have that empty hole in your life where once there was a friend/companion/confidante/playmate/sister. You may be able to deal with it on the terms of which you speak, but..........???

Journey-on

tall penguin

I haven't jumped into this thread yet but I've been enjoying it immensely.

First off, thank you journey-on for starting this thread and opening such an interesting discussion.

"my problem is when you come down from that "mountain", ground yourself to this physical plane, you may have peace of mind and a quiet calmness "knowing" the oneness, but it doesn't negate the fact that your sister is still not with you."

I can relate to this challenge journey. While I enjoy the sense of "knowing" and spend as much time there as I can, living in the physical plane can be a bitch. Externals inevitably pull us back into the chaos. I have many days where I rant and rave and get emotional and forget all of that oneness stuff. For me, I do my best to recognize that the relationships I have with people and all the stuff that happens in life do not define who I am. I do my best to just let it float through me, rather than identify myself with it. Not sure if that makes any sense.

tall penguin

onesong

I relate very much to the last posts by you Journey and Tall Penguin, I'm having similar experiences myself. I can go from the most peaceful state of knowingness to then having to go out into this world, look for a job, repeatedly get turned down, watch what little I have left get reduced to seemingly nothing and end up in total despair. In fact that has happened today just since I made my last post!

I have never had a time in my life like this where I can go from a great high in feeling like I have this life thing figured out and within hours to totally not having a clue about anything. Unbelievably frustrating!!!!

What else is crazy to me is that so many other areas of my life now work easily. I have a wonderful girlfriend who has a couple of great kids, no conflict with anyone, a feeling of confidence and peace in all of my relationships. I even ran into an ex-witness yesterday who needed my help in seeing thru the guilt and fear the Org. put into him. He was so relieved, so elated at the end of our conversation. I know that my gift is to help people trust themselves, give themselves back to themselves if you will. The people closest to me tell me that I have a quality of making them feel good about who they are and they grow and grow around me. I'm not trying to at all boast but how does this help me in a day to day basis of caring for my financial needs?

Other people's gifts reward them handsomely, why not mine???

Why can't I live my truth, put "the Kingdom first" and have the necessities of life??

Oooops, I think I've totally hijacked this great thread--sorry...it does feel good to vent though.

MsMcDucket

Miss Ducket "I know your going to get pissy" actually we would say "You are pissed off" but I cant agree with you and maybe you should take some of James advice.

Fifi, I could care less who you agree with. I don't even know you. I suggest you take James advice since you like it!

tall penguin

"I have never had a time in my life like this where I can go from a great high in feeling like I have this life thing figured out and within hours to totally not having a clue about anything. Unbelievably frustrating!!!!"

Hey onesong, are we living the same life? I'm so with ya there.

"What else is crazy to me is that so many other areas of my life now work easily."

YES!!!

"I have a wonderful girlfriend who has a couple of great kids, no conflict with anyone, a feeling of confidence and peace in all of my relationships."

YES!!!

"I know that my gift is to help people trust themselves, give themselves back to themselves if you will. The people closest to me tell me that I have a quality of making them feel good about who they are and they grow and grow around me. I'm not trying to at all boast but how does this help me in a day to day basis of caring for my financial needs?"

Oh Flying Spaghetti Monster, YES!!! I hear you.

It's like being on the verge of something wonderful, like you can taste it and smell it but it's still just out of reach.

tall penguin

anewme

First off, welcome JO!
Secondly, you know your sister better than anyone. I say, send the letter. And another one if need be!
And keep sending love letters until you regain your sister!

Best wishes to you,

Anewme

onesong

Tall Penguin -- Yes!! Yes!!! a thousand times Yes!!!

I'm here laughing/crying so happy to know that someone knows this feeling. It's like you've fought and struggled and climbed to the top of the mountain and you're sooooo close to the summit, but where the hell is it!!!!!!

Yes ,of course it's inside of me ...but where ???!! but how???!!!! Pleeeeease!

My heart to yours girl...thank you , thank you , for letting me know I'm not alone or insane. (or maybe we both are :-) )

tall penguin

You have a pm onesong. :)

JamesThomas

Journey:

it doesn't negate the fact that your sister is still not with you. You still have that empty hole in your life where once there was a friend/companion/confidante/playmate/sister. You may be able to deal with it on the terms of which you speak, but..........???

Look around, the universe expresses infinitely, with no limitations as to good or bad. Everything just IS, and whether it is seen through the eyes of a seemingly broken and fragmented human-being, or through eyes which realize oneness with it all, it goes on.

When innate wholeness and unity is realized, complacency to the suffering in the world does not set in. There is still anger and pain, sorrow and sadness, depression and joy...all these things probably felt even deeper than before. Life goes on. The universe expresses.

The difference is that closer than all the activity and circumstance of life, there is the unimaginable and vast pristine-purity of conscious-awareness (certainly what the word holy points to), the Life which gives life to all life and which holds and embraces it all equally. This can be clearly seen, more clearly than any understanding before, that this is what you truly are, and what is the foundational essence and reality of all existence. There is a oneness and wholeness that all exist in and as. This realization moves to the forefront, it is most significant and real. Now, at the very same time the universe continues to express infinitely. There is murder. There is rape. There is birth, and there is death. There are stars exploding, and beauty and wonder beyond imagination.

When true wholeness is known within you, your beloved sister will likely continue her ways, or not. HOWEVER, whatever the "life circumstance" , more real than all phenominal expression, so close as to be what you truly are (closer even than everything you have ever believed yourself to be), is the pristine peace and wholeness which accepts all life's expressions, no matter its shape or form. Your true Identity, is not loving, it is LOVE. So completely pure and unconditional as to be beyond the minds imagination and thought process.

Words fail. I can not explain it. It can not be intellectually known and expressed as objective things can be. It has to be seen. It has to be lived. The good news is, you do not have to earn it, or go some where to get it. You have it. It just needs to be realized. You are IT.

j

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