Is it wise to wake someone sleepwalking into the Watchtower trap?

by Gill 24 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Gill

  Is there a time NOT to speak out?

  Is there a time when it might be better not to say something and put doubts into someone's mind?

  We, as a family are 'faded' for well over five years now.

  In our former cong, a family have been studying from a local council estate. The parents had both been married before and one has three children and the other four children from their previous marriages. They have been studying with two pioneers in that particular cong.

  One of my sons knows one of the children of this couple. Yesterday, the boy approached my son and asked him if he was going to the assembly on Saturday. He said that my mother had asked him to have words with my son to 'encourage' ( ) him to go to the assembly and go to the meetings because the end is so close. (My son and this boy are boy 15 years of age.)

  At first I was very, very angry with my mother.....actually I still am. We discussed what my son could say to this boy, 'JWs is a cult' blah de blah etc.

  But then we started to consider this family. People are drawn tot he WTBTS and its ludicrous promises because something is going on in their lives that is making them unhappy. What, if things are peaceful for that family at the moment and what if we throw a spanner in the works by possibly causing this young lad to look into the WTBTS and then refuse to go to meetings? What if we cause the whole family to break apart? We don't know their circumstances as far as 'happiness' goes, but would it be fair to begin to wake them up from this nightmare they are falling into?

  What do you think?

  I think they are sleep walking into the Watchtower trap....but is it wise to wake a sleep walker?

  As for my mother......I'll catch up with her sooner or later and we're going to have 'one of our discussions!!'
• 

  Stealth453

  YES
• 

  Gill

  What about 'consequence', particularly for this young boy?

  I understand that his father is a rather 'large' bloke who perhaps might not take kindly to a challenge.

  How to go about it in a way that the whole family learn about the WTBTS at once and not just one member?
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  greendawn

  It's better to inform them about the real nature of the JW religion, can't they find another non cultic organisation to participate in for spiritual and social gratification? Why does it have to be the JWs? Of course many people fit in well with the dubs but many don't. Some eventually end up having their families destroyed by the shunning or the blood policies.
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  Gill

  Greendawn - Good question as to why couldn't they find a non 'cultic' religion! That's what made me wonder what the 'real' situation in the family is that would draw them into such a controlling cult. Is the man of the house wanting his woman and children to be in total subservience to him? Was something going wildly wrong before they began study that attracted them to the controlling aspects of the cult?

  Could 'informing' them, cause some kind of implosion in the family?
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  bernadette

  I think its wise for people to have both sides of the picture before committing themselves to anything. So my suggestion is to perhaps annonomously put info through their letterbox re websites such as freeminds to enable them to make an informed choice.

  Some teenagers I know were getting involved - they'd go to the meetings every sunday - with a very dedicated sis and her teenager. Mum and dad were busy with work and thought it would keep their teenagers out of trouble if they got some religion. None in the family were having a study yet. I simply gave their grandma freeminds address and left it up to her. A young teenage cousin looked up the info on freeminds and shared with the 2 who were going to meetings. I understand they had quite 'interesting discussions'. The 2 teenagers decided to stop going.

  My nonjw sister is helping another family she knows wherein the wife has decided to get baptized. I don't know how that one will turn out. Dad doesn't want to know but isn't opposed. How sad that situation will be if the wife goes ahead and gets baptized.

  bernadette
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  diamondblue1974

  This is something that is a considerable conflict for me.

  For those that know my situation, my only relative in the 'truth' is my mother who is very devout and totally entrenched within the cult.

  I did however manage to get her to read some of Steven Hassans, Combatting Cult Mind Control when she last visited (last week) and although she didnt admit to relating it to her own religion, I know it has made her think- her facial expression was a picture when she referred to cults and how they attempt to control their members.

  I think that to completely burst someones bubble, especially when they are so entrenched into the cult can be dangerous however allowing them think about things differently is totally acceptable especially when it is done covertly.

  Will keep you posted.

  Gary
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  greendawn

  I don't know this family and how much of the JW poison has already gone into their system, how difficult it would be for them to get extricated from this spider web of deceit. I wouldn't mind shocking them with some sobering info about the JW organisation. Personally I would have been pleased if someone had shown me such facts back then and pointed out a reasonably reliable alternative to the dubs.
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  Gill

  Greendawn - I've been incredibly busy this morning cycling here there and everywhere at HIGH speed (surprised I didn't get a ticket, actually ) but I have been thinking about this family. They are NOT yet baptised and I have decided to seek out their address and send some information. You can but try. It would be better that the parents receive information than their son present them with anything and possibly be punished for it.

  DB74!!! I'm sure your mother is still thinking about what you showed her. That book is brilliant and has certainly helped me to understand a lot more about how your mind can get thoroughly screwed up when you grow up in a cult and helped me to be more sympathetic to my older two children and why some of their behaviour is 'not as I would have liked.' I hope you get somewhere with you Mum! Good Luck!
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  DHL

  Have not been writing for some time, sometimes reading though - wanted to give my 2 ct. because I was asking myself this question, too, about my aging parents who have been JWs all their life.

  My conclusion: I decided I don't want to rip their life apart. They built everything on this belief. Every little decision in their whole life. In fact this is their life. If I pulled - or tried to pull - their belief away from under them, they would lose the basis of their life. I can't imagine they would be very happy to realise at this late point in their life, that they believed a lie all their lifetime. How would it make them feel? How would drawing such a balance of their life make them feel? It could possibly even kill them literally, as it would put them in an emotional turmoil that could be fatal as both are having health (heart) problems. Sure, it's also possible they would simply thank me for opening their eyes but honestly I doubt that.

  So, to me it's sort of a labour of love to keep my mouth shut and let them believe as they wish. Live and let live, so to speak.

  Sure, I don't prospect from such a decision, but they surely do.

  I definitely have a different perspective if the person in question is much younger or just about to get into it. Totally different situation. So in the mentioned situation I would give anything I could to make them see the "truth" for what it really is. But as it already has been stated: I would recommend to try to reach all of them.Sort of bombarding the whole family from different sides/people.

  Love, Debbie