by fifi40 103 Replies latest jw friends
From 2001: ASpace Odyssey (naturally) by HAL (even more understandably) on Dave Bowman's return to the ship, after HAL has killed the rest of the crew.
HAL: I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.......
h9k
You can't kick the natives in the back streets of Calcutta anymore. --The Ruling Class
You crazy beeeeeeccccchhhhh!!!!! - 50 First Dates
The shitters full! - National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people die! - Austin Powers I.M.O.M.
Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin' your heavy ass through the burnin' desert with your dreadlocks stickin' out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin' all big and bad... and what the hell is that smell? I could've been at a barbecue! But I ain't mad. - Independance Day
I like college and I like football and I'm gonna keep doin' 'em both cause they make me happy! [Slams door, then comes back.] And you're wrong, Mama! Alligators are ornery because of their medulla oblongata! [Slams door, then comes back.] And I like Vickie Vallencourt and she showed me her boobies and I like them too! - Waterboy
Now let's cut the stupid cake 'cause I know the fat guy's gonna have a heart attack if we don't eat again soon. - The Wedding Singer
From Borat:
Azamat: [subtitled] We should go back to New York. At least there are no Jews there.
Also,
Borat: [to American Audience] We support your war of terror.
Borat: May George Bush drink the blood of every man, woman, and child in Iraq!
More serious, from American History X:
Bob Sweeney: There was a moment... when I used to blame everything and everyone... for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn't get no answers 'cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.
Derek Vinyard: Like what?
Bob Sweeney: Has anything you've done made your life better?
Monty Python - The Meaning of Life
Twich ... I couldn't stop laughing when I saw this part of the movie ...
- Chaplain: Let us praise God.
- [The congregation rises.]
- Chaplain: O Lord…
- Congregation: O Lord…
- Chaplain: … ooh, You are so big…
- Congregation: … ooh, You are so big…
- Chaplain: … so absolutely huge.
- Congregation: … so absolutely huge.
- Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
- Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
- Chaplain: Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and…
- Congregation: … and barefaced flattery.
- Chaplain: But You're so strong and, well, just so… super.
- Congregation: Fantastic!
- Chaplain: Amen.
- Congregation: Amen.
- [The congregation sits again.]
Monty Python - The Meaning of Life
Dr. Evil in the movie Goldmember: "Are those fricken' sharks with fricken' laser beams attached to their fricken' heads?"
...and one more...
Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H.
[Scott snickers]
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.
Dr. Evil: I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream?
Scott Evil: Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream.
Dr. Evil: Perhaps later.
Number 2: Dr. Evil, I love your plan.
Dr. Evil: You do?
Frau Farbissina: Yah. It's a really good plan.
Dr. Evil: Yes Frau, on the whole Preparation H feels good.
[Scott resumes snickering]
Dr. Evil: What is it now?
Scott Evil: No, I totally agree with you. Preparation H does feel good... on the hole.
"Ever get lonesome?
For what?
Woman.
Full-time night woman?.....I packed me a squaw for ten years, pilgrim....Cheyenne she whah....meanest bitch that ever balled for beads.....I lodged-poled her in Deadwood Creek, and traded her for a Hawken gun!
But don't get me wrong, I loves the women I surely do. But I swear.....a women's breast...is the hardest rock that the almighty ever made...and I can find no sign on it".
Anybody know?? GYMBB
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What's your name fat-body?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Lawrence? Lawrence what of Arabia?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: That name sounds like royalty are you royalty?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Do you suck dicks?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose.
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle.
--Full Metal Jacket
Alex: Well, well, well! Well if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!
--A Clockwork Orange
