My real childhood experience

Junction-Guy

Follks Im gonna have to post this in increments as my webtv is acting up, I had a big post already started and then it went haywire. Should I blame it on the demons? trying to shut me up?

Well anyway I will start off by giving the brief history. Born in 1970 to a very disastrous marriage. Lots of money trouble in that marriage, lots of arguing and fighting. 1975 was looming around the corner and Dad refused to work a second job, nor allow Mom to work a job, because "spiritual things" come first. I remember being beaten alot by my Dad at the Kingdom Hall, and I grew to loathe the kingdom hall from a very early age.

My parents divorced in 1976 and I started school in 1977.

Ok now Im gonna stop here and then resume in another reply. Keep watching this, I will have more here shortly.

SirNose586

So were you held back from entering a year earlier, due to the '75 hysteria?

Junction-Guy

I started school in 1976, and I remember my Mom telling me that I couldnt celebrate Christmas or birthdays, once I started school I found out that there was alot more I couldnt celebrate. I remember very well being excused from class to go and sit by myself, while the other kids were having their parties. This was already isolating me from my peers, and I was already starting down that path of being a "loner".

Mom remarried in 1979 to an OK guy, and we moved to Texas, while living in Texas, she received her disfellowshipment letter from Ohio for smoking. Mom ended up separating from husband #2 and we moved back to Ohio on Nov 1st 1980.

All during this time period I was already started on the path to being a social misfit. When I started the 4th grade things deteriorated rapidly. I was constantly teased at school and called all kinds of names. You see I was shy and kept to myself, and everyone knew this at school. This marked me as different.

I also was very clumsy and akward, I wasnt good at sports, and due to my JW background, I didnt have the opportunity to participate in little league, pee wee football, or any other sports during my early years.

In order to keep this topic in check, I will have to fastforward through a few years.

Mom and I moved to Mississippi in 1982 Darin stayed with Dad, I ddnt want anything to do with the kingdom hall, so I really didnt have much choice. Mom remarried in 1982 to an abusive alcoholic and I was forced to move back to Ohio, in order to save my life.

Keep reading, more is on the way.

Junction-Guy

After moving back to Ohio I started school in Miamisburg. Darin was already enrolled there, and I was informed by a JW cousin that my brother was being picked on, on the bus to school. Once I started going to school, I stood up to those guys and in doing so made me a target. For the next 3 years it would be hell. I was called every name in the book. The "F" word, the "Q" word and many more.

I hated school, I hated life, and the only joy I got was visiting my inactive JW grandma on the weekends occasionally and going to Ky.

I managed to have a few girlfriends while in school there, they too were part of the geek crowd like me. I kept them a secret from my Dad, as if it is the worst thing in the world for a teenage boy to have a girlfriend. I remember my brother was given a necklace at school by a girl, and my Dad went ballistic, he gave him the old spiel about putting kingdom interests first, and not pay any attention to the girls at school. Dating was forbidden and he made no bones about it. I knew this was a bunch of bull, but I didnt know how to address it well with him. We argued alot during those days. Somewhere during this time period I got it in my head that dating was something taboo. I knew this wasnt the normal way to live even back then, but what could I do.

I was unfairly labeled as being gay at school, while at the same time I was being harassed at home for wanting the normal things a teenage boy wants, girlfriends, marriage, children, college. What a mess to find myself in. I simply couldnt win for losing.

Im gonna pause here and will resume shortly.

Sparkplug

I read what you posted last night and I have been waiting for this post. I find you very brave and this must be very hard and yet refreshing for you to get this out and in the open and post this. I salute you JG.

Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

Keep it coming, enjoying your life story so far. Thanks for sharing it.

catfish

greendawn

I can see once more how unfortunate kids are that were born to JWs or had parents that converted to the religion. They will have an unnatural and strained upbringing. Even worse the WTS doesn't offer them anything to compensate for all the restrictions. It's best if parents don't become dubs.

junctions-wife

bttt

Junction-Guy

During the mid to late teenage years, I started having some gay thoughts come into my head. I brushed them aside, and went about my business. I was still very much a loner even until my senior year. During this time period I had alot of major upheaval in my life, I didnt have a girlfriend, and I couldnt have one (in my mind) unless I was ready to get married. I put off dating, while trying to figure out what I was gonna do with the remainder of my life since Armageddon was only a few years away.

Im leaving out quite a bit here, Let's just say that during my whole school years I would lay awake at night and wonder,why? Why did I have to be born into this environment? Why cant I be a normal kid, and be allowed to have normal dreams and goals?, Why cant I just be allowed a normal life?

I had a girlfriend in 9th grade in Mississippi, and she was probably a really nice girl, but she wasnt really attractive, we were just an item, that's about it. I also built up a wall around her, because I didnt know if or when I would move back to Ohio, or where my life would take me. I couldnt just enjoy dating, I always had to think ahead to the future and marriage and Armageddon.

During high school things were a little better, I didnt get called so many names, I even had a few friends, but I was still pretty much a loner. I only had like maybe one male best friend during my whole high school experience.

I did have 2 dates in high school, as I was back in Ohio living with my inactive JW grandma, and she allowed me more freedom Than my Dad. One girl I took to the prom, but I didnt pursue her any further after she refused to kiss, the vibes she was giving me and certain things she said made me think she was a lesbian, so I just gave up on that one. Grandma later swears this girl was interested in me, and thought I should have pursued her more.

The other date was on election night in 1988. This was the big Bush Sr.vs.Dukakis election. This girl and I were both republicans and attended the same classes in school. The only problem was she was also seeing a married man on the side, and she was far more interested in him than me, so I never pursued that any further.

bernadette

Its really sad that you had such a lonely childhood but am glad your inactive grandma supported you somewhat.

My real childhood experience

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