by Alpaca 40 Replies latest jw friends
Great post!
I once spent an entire Sunday talk listening to the speaker talk about the tenacity of a bulldog-based on the song "Jeremiah was a bulldog". When he was finished he sat down and his wife leans over to him and says "Jeremiah was a bullFrog." Nuf said.
ROFL Cold Creek!! ROFLROFL! Reminds me of the time I was in my bookstudy and the bookstudy overseer came to give our bookstudy his revolving talk that he gave to all the bookstudies. And he started talking about how we should reach out to ALL people no matter what their lot in life is and he kept referring to Jesus reaching out to the leper...only he kept saying LEOPARD. "...and so Jesus who was unafraid reached out and he TOUCHED the leopard and he...." I was dying...
Then the guy next to me who was a weekend cartoonist drew a picture of this guy in a beard and toga petting this leopard and the leopard had this quizzical look on his face which Jesus was oblivious to...
I had to leave. I was snorting. It just wasnt right.
ROFLROFLROFL Bulldog...ROFLROFL!!
The worst speaker in my history of public talk attending, the guy was actually not boring.
He talked about the circumstances of a JW who decided to serve where the need was
greater, and this JW would go to unassigned territory for his vacations, of course the
JW's wife was a pioneer, and they put off having children for the sake of the good news.
This speaker built up this whole story, and I leaned over to my wife and said "He's now
going to tell us that this JW's story was actually the speaker's story." Well, that's what
he did, next.
He totally strayed away from his outline, using the bulk of his time to brag about his
wonderful life of putting Jehovah first. I was a newly appointed elder. After the talk, as I was
chairman, he shook my hand and asked who the elders were in the congregation. I pointed
out a couple of older ones (without mentioning myself) and off he went to talk to only them.
Good riddance. He never came back- he was never invited back.
A Gilead grad missionary once told me that he thought it was a sin to pay attention to a bad speaker. He recommended a little nap or personal planning.
When I was a pre-teen an MS was giving a talk where he, for some reason, had to use the word organism on several occasions. If I'm not mistaken I believe the word was strewn throughout the scriptures he was using. During his entire talk he kept saying orgasm instead of organism.
To this day I wonder if he purposely planned that out or if he was honestly making a mistake.
<http://youtube.com/watch?v=fxQcb09eDOs>
Not related to JW, but I love the eyes of the guy when he realizes what he just said... :-)
kifoy
During his entire talk he kept saying orgasm instead of organism.
This actually happened to me once. I was returning from a furlough while in the service, riding a bus in southern California, and this very pretty girl sat down next to me. Things like that never happened to me so I took advantage of it by striking up a conversation. Somehow we got to talking about water and I said something about 'little tiny orgasms swimming around" in it. I knew immediately what I said and got all embarrassed. She just smiled - she knew what was really on my mind.
We always had the Circut Servant(Is it Circut Oversear now?) stay at our house when I was a kid..Nice guy,but dumb as a post..It was cold out and he wanted to be clever
..He said "Yep,just like the old saying:Theres cold in them thar hills!"..Being a kid and having watched countless westerns I knew the saying was:"Theres gold in them thar hills!"..He went on that week to give our congragation councel and instruction based on his interpretation of the world around him..LOL!!...OUTLAW
A brother in one of my old congs had a No4 talk. He was a hopeless reader but was doing quite well. We were waiting for something to go wrong. The talk was something about Joshua routing the kings of such and such.
The only problem is we pronounce 'route' as 'root'!
Joshua 'rooted' these kings about six or seven times in a 5 minute talk!
Nobody could sing the closing song for tears.
One of the sweetest kindest and most sincere elders in one cong I was in would always mispronounce the word faithful with "fateful". Inevitably, he'd always work the words "fateful witnesses" into his prayers. Drove me nuts wondering whether he was doing it intentionally or not. I'd even listen to see if he had trouble pronouncing other "th" sounds. But he was inconsistent with it. I think he thought it sounded cool to say "faitful" that way.
