what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phones???

by What-A-Coincidence 18 Replies latest social humour

• 

  What-A-Coincidence

  >I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell
  >phones?
  >What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
  >What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
  >What if we flipped through it several times a day?
  >What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
  >What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
  >What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
  >What if we used it as we traveled?
  >What if we used it in case of an emergency?
  >This is something to make you go ...hmm...where is my Bible?
  >
  >Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't ever have to
  >worry about our Bible being disconnected, because Jesus already paid the
  >bill!
  >
  >Pass this on to everyone you know that has a cell phone. Makes you
  >stop & think "where are my priorities?"
  >
  >And no dropped calls !
• 

  lonelysheep

  Sorry my bible friends, but I'm aching to satire the heck out of this.
• 

  Brother Apostate

  lonely sheep,

  Go ahead, a little satire is always fun!

  BA- Personally, I'll just cut it and paste it into emails to folks I know would appreciate it.
• 

  OUTLAW

  I don`t believe in the Bible..I do believe in Cell Phones..Stuck on the road,pick up the cell phone and call the Auto Club..Want to talk to your kids,pick up the cell phone..Out of scotch,pick up the cell phone and call the delivery service..Lets see you do that with a bible..I can`t even get a dial tone on the bible..LOL!!...OUTLAW
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  God? Can you hear me now? God? :-)

  Dave
• 

  Finally-Free

  I rarely use my cell phone. I keep it turned off, and only turn it on when I need to make an emergency call - maybe once or twice a year. Most of the time I forget to carry it.

  Also, I'd hate to see people reading their bibles in rush hour traffic. The cell phones are bad enough.

  W
• 

  under_believer

  The Bible is a lot more like cell phones than you probably realize:
  
  What if we traded it in for a new model with better features every few years?
  What if we were constantly changing service providers for a better deal?
  What if it was often hard to understand what the person on the other end was trying to say?
  What if it frequently read "NO SERVICE" when we tried to use it?
  What if it was always running out of power?
  What if it was very costly to use and required signing your life away on a dotted line, with penalty for early withdrawal?
  What if many people resented having to use one?
  What if people who use it in public are often regarded as obnoxious jackasses?
  What if people couldn't put it down even for one damn week to go on vacation?
  What if the people providing service were among the most hated and reviled entities in the world?
  What if every model was different, with different ways of using it and had to be re-learned from scratch every time you got a new one?
  
  And most importantly...
  
  What if it was a device that everyone got along just just fine without until a few years ago, and now people think it's one of the most important things in the entire world?
• 

  RubaDub

  I think it would look a bit odd holding the Bible up to your ear and talking to it while you were walking down the street.

  It would also be a bit strange to have to turn your Bible off when you went into the Kingdom Hall.

  Rub a Dub
• 

  What-A-Coincidence

  nice one underbee!
• 

  lonelysheep

  I'll just reply with my own immediate thoughts that made myself laugh. AlmostAthiest is the king of satire on JWD.

  Disclaimer: The following is not meant to offend anyone at all, or spark nasty PM's. Please skip if this will hurt you.

  I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell
  >phones?
  It would get dropped a lot.
  >What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
  My purse is heavy enough and the pockets are too tight on my jeans.

  >What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
  Reminds me of my KHell days.
  
  >What if we flipped through it several times a day?
  I would fall asleep several times a day.
  
  >What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
  Tried that and got nothing!
  
  >What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
  I'm dependent enough on my cell phone.
  
  >What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
  'WTF' look
  >What if we used it as we traveled?
  I get motion sickness if I read while traveling.
  
  >What if we used it in case of an emergency?
  Then I'm really screwed.
  
  >This is something to make you go ...hmm...where is my Bible?
  In the landfill where it should be?
  
  >Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't ever have to
  >worry about our Bible being disconnected, because Jesus already paid the
  >bill!

  As long as I work, I'm good there. >
  >Pass this on to everyone you know that has a cell phone. Makes you
  >stop & think "where are my priorities?"

  JWD where they should be.
  >
  >And no dropped calls !

  Nope. Plenty of unanswered ones, though.

  Underbeliever---SO GOOD!