Our son is in jail for a crime. My fam says its my fault for leaving JW's. (page 2)

pierogi

Sorry, I kind of made my post all about you and left your son out! But yes, at least YOU be there for him. Every one makes mistakes and like you've read already, hopefully it'll be a wake up call. I agree that you shouldn't tell the JWs anything because they'll just use it against you. I understand that you were just looking for support though.

undercover

I do not have much contact with the rest of my family because they have disowned me, however I called and told them about this, thinking that they could help us deal with this. They responded by blaming me for leaving the witnesses and screwing him up by leaving. They do not want to give any moral support to us or visit him because we are not witnesses.

If they don't want to support you or him or visit him, that's their decision...not a lot you can do about that. It's not your fault that they are insensitive or hateful. You can blame the WTS for poisoning their minds.

And your leaving the JWs is not the reason that caused this situation to come about either. There are JWs who get arrested, jailed, convicted and imprisoned every year. What's their excuse?

Unfortunately, your JW family is really caught up in the cultthink. It's time to concentrate on you and your son and getting him help and finding suport for the rest of your family. It's time to cut the JW members out, if they have made it clear that they want nothing to do with you or yours. Why punish yourself any further? They're only going to cause you more stress and hardship.

You're also not alone in being accused of having bad things happen to us because you left the JWs. Many of us can relate. I have been accused of the same...but not to the extent that you are dealing with. I can only imagine how painful this situation is. Good luck to you.

ButtLight

I know how you feel. I have a son who seems to attract trouble........(not saying your son does). He needs to know he did wrong.....but even more importantly, he needs to know you still love him, and will stand behind him no matter what. Kids sometimes screw up, especially kids who have mental issues like my son. (he is bi-polar)

Frannie Banannie

((((ontarget)))) We've been through this in our family. Support your son. He needs all the reassurance he can get. And va-ka-ka on those that blame you! Parents seldom deserve the blame they get for what their kids do.

Frannie

Dismembered

Your JW families response to your your son being in jail, is their gutless way of what's called passing the buck. It's your sons fault he's in prison, nobody elses. If you don't play by the rules, you get caught and the situation he's in is what sometimes happens. Because you and he decided to NOT be a JW is no reason for your or his demise. And shame on those who won't help him.

I think he could have gotten himself into trouble even if we stayed witnesses.

That's an understatment. Teenagers and young adults do that kind of stuff unfortunately.

Dismembered

jaguarbass

I think he could have gotten himself into trouble even if we stayed witnesses.

What do you think of all this?

Yes, I think he could have gotten in trouble as a witness. Then he would have been df or da and you would still have been blamed. You cant win. Breeding is a risky proposition at least if your looking for an emotionally smooth ride. No matter what for the rest of this life the nut always falls close to the tree.

Your son is 20, if your looking to give him some direction, and discipline you might consider encouraging him to join the navy, or air force. I don't think those two branches are as dangerous as the army or marines. My son went in at 18 and came out with a bachelors degree and now he is a registered nurse. Just a thought.

jgnat

Hey, ontarget. Happy to make your acquaintance. We have more in common than you know. My son recently was arrested. He has a double-whammy problem, fighting drug addiction and Schizophrenia. This recent incident is a disappointing setback, as he has made some huge strides in admitting his problems and accepting help in the past two years. I am very, very fortunate to have a small support group around me to keep me strong.

At times like this, you need those few people who ADD to your life, don't take away. Otherwise it can feel like there is no-one there at all. Seek out those people and lean on each other.

The rest of the family? eh. It's up to you how often you involve them in your life. But it sure ain't gonna be in the tough times. You don't need those Job's comforters.

blondie

Remind the JWs that God had sons that failed. Does that mean there is something wrong with their God?

Blondie

love2Bworldly

Sorry about what you're going through and that your family is not there for you. I am having problems with my 17 year old son also and don't have support from my family, but then I have been a single mother of 3 without any emotional support from family for years. It has nothing to do with religion if a kid gets into trouble. If you were a JW, they would tell you it's a test from Satan.

Great point Blondie!

ontarget

Thanks for all the support - - We appreciate it so so much.

ontarget's wife

Our son is in jail for a crime. My fam says its my fault for leaving JW's.

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