canada

wormwood

Hello, I'm new here on this forum. I've been disfellowshiped for 10 years or so. I can't even remember anymore. Not until lately I've noticed how disfunctional I am. My views on life, love, and the future are not normal. I'm always scared the end is near, everything that happens is the beginning of the end. My wife has no idea what torment I go through. It's starting to take its toll on me and us. I'm getting more reclusive and scared everyday. I was born into the religion and stayed for 19 years. I was the scape goat of a group of young men and women; and was made an example of. In hindsight it was the best thing ever. But it doesn't change my brain, who was trained/washed, to think its all over soon. I'm in canada, most of you I see are else where. So this is all I have to connect with others who, I really hope, feel the same. Are you scared? or have you let go? Please don't tell me to forget about it and," they are all wrong". I know what reality is, I know who's right and wrong. I just can't stop thinking the same way I used to. What are all of your thoughts? and is there anyone in halifax canada? thanks..

averyniceguy

Welcome to the board! We have plenty of Folks from Canada, they will respond to your post soon!

nvrgnbk

Hello wormwood,

Even though you have not associated with the Witnesses for some time, their programming lies deep within you. You need to deprogram yourself. The best way to do this is to expose yourself to new information, understanding of course that all information should be examined carefully and weighed against logic and real-life experience. This may take considerable time and effort. You will find JWD to be a support in your struggle. I recently described this board as I have experienced it as follows:

This discussion forum constitutes a support group for the thousands of publishers that have suffered in one way or another due to the antics of the self-appointed Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses. Some here were disfellowshipped, some disassociated themselves. Yet others simply walked away because they felt they couldn't stay for one second more. Others prefer a slow fade. Some who read or lurk here are currently elders, ministerial servants, pioneers, Bethelites, etc. Some may lead an immoral lifestyle according to your personal standards, others are more morally fastidious than many JWs. Some are atheists, others agnostics, many non-denominational Christians, and quite a few undecided in matters of faith. I'm sure I'm leaving out quite a few. If you like spending time here with this fascinating group of courageous individuals you're very welcome to do so.
Love and respect,
Nvr

Glad you're here,

Nvr

prophecor

Welcome to the "Far Side", Canada. Most of us will be readily able to identify with your thoughts and disturbing mindset. If you've just come in from never having visited an ex-witness board than your in for some truly surprising moments. If you've been lurking, then you know that we all pretty much are dealing, in one way or another with having our hearts and minds encouraged in Jehovah's Witness doctrine. Hang around and make yourself to home. It usually gets better with time, once you've been here for a while.

jgnat

Yup, lots of us from Canada. You might need to talk to someone to help you get over your history. I'm thinking you might even have an anxiety disorder of some sort. If you get help, your life will be much improved, I think.

http://www.cfpc.ca/English/cfpc/programs/patient%20education/anxiety/default.asp?s=1

I see one poster, Dams, who lives in Nova Scotia. http://www.frappr.com/xjws

You might also want to try XJW Meetup: http://exjw.meetup.com/cities/ca/ns/halifax/

Handsome Dan

Hi fellow Canadian,

wormwood

Although I appreciate your comment on exposing myself to new info, and ideas. I have done that for the last 10 years....I've been in the armed forces. I am very well read, and have become very sucessful in the film industry. I have all the things that they don't want you to have. I'm not stuck on their dogma or still believe in the" truth". I know what is real. Maybe anxiety disorder, or post traumatic stress. I'm checking here to see if anyone else has these thoughts and problems? But I do appreciate you response and I hope I don't sound like a dick.

nvrgnbk

Wormwood,

You don't sound like a dick at all. The reason I suggested the information as therapy approach is that you mentioned a fear that the end is near. Something that helped me to get over that fear was learning that nearly all cultures and civilizations through history have had the same fear to a greater or lesser degree. Psychology offers explanations for this not at all unique phenomenon. Sorry if that doesn't help. I'm sure you'll find something here from someone that will.

Best wishes,

Nvrgnbk

Hortensia

well I had severe anxiety attacks for a long time after leaving the JWs, from relentless stress, JW related and non-JW related (have to be fair.) I think jgnat gave good advice. Go to your doctor and get some help. I remember my doctor said I was so stressed he couldn't believe I was still functioning. I also remember that after three days on med I woke up cheerful and found myself singing as I went through the day. I only stayed on med for a year, haven't needed it since then, but am deeply grateful I got the help when I needed it.

found-my-way

I think jgnat's post had excellent practical suggestions wormwood.

i too think you might have an anxiery disorder that you probably should talk over with a therapist.

Good luck to you on your journey, and always remember, you can always post your feelings and thoughts here, we are here as a support to you.

~found

canada

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