Let Kids see Dub Grandparents or?

brunnhilde

My mom and dad LOVE my son, but I also know because of the depth of their brainwashing, they won't be respectful of my parenting (as I've asked them) and will try to "plant seeds" with him. He's only 7, loves his Grandma and Papa very much and is easily confused and distressed when he gets conflicting info. Since we left the Dubs, we've had a couple different run-ins with my parents trying subtle and not so subtle means to get at my son, or more accurately, get at me. How do other parents handle this? I want my son to see them, and frankly, I don't want to give them an excuse to complain about how my leaving the dubs changed their relationship with him (though I was actually limiting their contact even before I left the dubs since they're psycho). The only option I see is me being stuck going along with him for a couple hours a week. Thoughts??

Crumpet

Just remain in supervision. Explain to your folks that they cannot be trusted not to damage your children in their current condition and so they can only see them in your or your partner's company.

Mary

My mom and dad LOVE my son, but I also know because of the depth of their brainwashing, they won't be respectful of my parenting (as I've asked them) and will try to "plant seeds" with him. He's only 7.

I think you answered your own question. The second you leave your son alone with your parents, they'll start in on him, planing 'subtle' suggestions that only if he comes back to the Kingdumb Hell, will he gain God's approval, and gee, what 7 year old wants God pissed off at him? I would invite your parents down to your place so you can supervise. If they refuse to do this, then you'll know that their intention is to try and influence your son.

If I were in your situation, that would be the only way they could see him. It's unfortunate, but when people chose a cult over their own flesh and blood, the normal rules don't apply.

misocup

Yes by all means let him see them. Just de-program after.

I left when my children were 3 and 6. they are now grown. When they were little, my mother would cut my sons hair, take them to meetings, have bible studies with them. But I also told them about all of the other religions out there and that Grandma believes what she believes and that's her business. It's a matter of having open communication with your kids.

My kids are not involved with any religion, and neither am I. They don't think the JW's have the truth, any more than any other religion. They have a very healthy attitude toward spirituality and other peoples belief systems.

Xena

It's a tough call to make.

My daughter used to spend time with my sisters. One lives here and one comes in from time to time from out of state. She enjoyed their company and despite them shunning me I figured I would be the bigger person. We had one "armagaddon" issue which I thrashed out with them early on and then they appeared to let up....then the last time she was with them my oldest sister told her that they shun me for my own good and that one day I would appreciate it. When my daughter got home she told me about it. I asked her what she thought of my sisters comments and she basically said she thought it was stupid. She didn't say so to my sister at the time because she didn't want to start crying (her words) but since that time she no longer wants to spend time with them. I guess I'm glad she was able to see it for what it was and make a decision on her own...course she is a little older than your son being 10 at the time.

Kids are pretty smart and if you are upfront with him about what is going and discuss anything that comes up when he is with them their comments most likely won't have any effect other then him maybe losing the desire to spend time with them himself eventually.

journey-on

Reading all these comments has brought back some sad memories for me. It just makes me sick what this cult does to families.

bluesapphire

My husband's mother is hard-core pre-75er too. And she has tried to bring the Bible Stories book and the Pink Jesus book to study with my son since he was 1 year old! Each time we give her the books and tell her, we have our own study material.

She asks if she can take him here and there and we always say, "You can come over and see him ANY TIME. But you can't take him."

She never gives up asking but NEITHER DO WE!!! Our son's relationship with his grandmother is important but our son's EMOTIONAL WELL BEING IS MORE IMPORTANT. He could survive without his grandmother but he cannot survive in this world with a jacked up, messed up world view.

That's exactly what the JWs do is distort the world view of its followers from the time they begin to "inculcate" so they cannot function in the world without lots of therapy and years of healing and that's if we're lucky enough to get out. Just look at what we've all gone through trying to heal from the abuse .

My suggestion is let grandparents see the kids all they want but NEVER ALONE. NEVER EVER EVER ALONE! God forbid the kids grow up to shun their own parents thanks to granny and grampa!

megsmomma

I agree with all that has been said. Even if you spend time depreogramming after, he may start having some mental anguish over it all...and it would just be better to not have to try to fix him after every time.

It is different for evey kid though. My sister was never baptised and she doesn't go, but lets our mom take her girls. They are 9 and 11. The 11 year old doesn't seem too affected, but the 9 year old is really confused. She is more of the type that wants to please g-ma...and be"special" in some way (by making g-ma...who is weird...happy)

You know your son, do what you feel is right. You may save him from lots of pain later in life though by having him "give up" on the few happy times they would give him now.

found-my-way

I'm going to be asking their grandmother (who does love my kids dearly) to take them on fri night and have them back by sat night. that way there is no meeting to take them to. (unless its assembly day - then they wont go).she may take them in service, but i think i can handle that...they are very young still.

gymbob

My ex-wife, who is still a dub goes over to my daughter's house every chance she gets to see her grandkids, and that's great, but she cannot be trusted to be alone with them. My daughter and her husband have repeatedly told her NOT to bring any WT publications over....she still does. She also goes to where my son works and leaves Watchtowers on the windshield of his truck.

These people just don't get it, and they don't take "no" for a answer. They feel they can do anything to justify their actions and I would never leave my kids or grandkids with them alone.

Let Kids see Dub Grandparents or?

Share this