just whanted to"take the power back" if you know what I mean by that. I guess to get that feeling I should try some therapy
Therapy would be good to help resolve lingering issues.
As for taking the power back, it's all attitude. Just think about it for a minute and you'll realize there is overwhelming evidence (found on this forum and many other sites and books) that the real apostate in the picture is the WT Society and its corrupt and hypocritical leadership. They've lied, misinformed, taught people to be judgmental and ruined lives and wrecked family relationships, all in the name of a loving God.
Once you get that firmly planted in your mind, it allows you to occupy the moral high ground in any dub confrontation you face. You'll find yourself feeling sorry for them and once you arrive at that point, you're free. This feeling of righteousness will remove the nagging sense that you need to tell them off. You will be at peace with yourself.