looking for validation

by yrs2long 15 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  SixofNine

  Welcome Yrs2long! It sounds as if it is going whirlwind fast for you. I think that is good. I see some folks who it almost seems as if they wish to make a monument to their pain, in regards to Witness life. In other words, they take leaving the organization so slowly, it is as if they are clinging to the tits of their mother, deathly afraid of ??? I don't know exactly what, but letting go is certainly part of it.

  Anyway, it went very quick for me. Like you, I obsessed (and perhaps still do) with research and getting and staying informed with all the "dirt" on the org. One tip: why "decide" that the JW indoctrination will be with you and affect you deeply for a long time? Why not instead assume that with clear lenses, your perspective will change for the better, and soon? Attitude is everything, and it sounds as if you have a good one.

  It is almost exactly a year for me, since I saw a better, more kind, life saving, loving interpretation of the scriptures on the blood issue. At the time, it was very nice to find that I didn't even have to believe that God was the sort who would want your life in exchange for a symblol of life. Now, I don't even know for sure that God exist, but if he/she/it does, I feel sure the He/she/it is not petty.

  I'm excited for you. Live well.
• 

  Chrissey

  here goes my two cents,,,
  The JDub "religion" creates such a "co-dependant" phenomenon in most of those who try to leave it. I have always referred to the Borg as "Hotel California",,you can check out, but you can never leave.

  Many who leave feel the need to jump right back into another organized religion, just as an abused person will similarly jump into another abusive relationship, or seek solace through other means; some just as self destructive as the abuse.

  Personally, I needed time away from all organized religions to become "spiritual", and lose the "religious" part of my personality. I can now say I am a highly evolved spiritual person, however not by any means religious.

  Good luck to you and your healing process!!
  ~Chrissey~
• 

  outnfree

  yrs2long,

  It was nice to "meet" you in chat tonight (last night?) and I'm glad to have read your experience.

  Welcome to our family, raucous at times, but on the whole VERY supportive.
  

  I have an extensive fear of dying that i feel developed from always feeling I wasn't in a good enough standing to face judgment. That fear transposes everything else in my life...

  So many others here had that sinking feeling that they would not survive Armageddon because they weren't good enough (translate that to read they didn't DO enough!) because the Society kept telling them how perfectly righteous they were supposed to be.

  Now you will learn, as a result of your "hanging around" and "extensive research" that the Society is not perfectly righteous itself!!!

  I guarantee that will make you feel better about YOU!

  Again, welcome!

  outnfree

  Par dessus toutes choses, soyez bons. La bonte est ce qui ressemble le plus a Dieu et ce qui desarme le plus les hommes -- Lacordaire
• 

  yrs2long

  Outnfree - I really like your name too and wish it applied to me.

  Thanks for the warmth that shows in all your replies. Last night in chat, I noticed how you kept welcoming all who joined and you kept trying to respond pleasantly and in all earnest to SUS' questions. I am very glad to be here, and I am not bothered by anyone here. Some of even the most caustic replies are acceptable to me right now because the right to express contrary opinions have been denied for so long. I am trying to catch on to all of the logistics around here, but just how do you frame your quotes with the line? Also, how do you include a picture?

  I am feeling better everyday about my decision. Most times I feel so free. Yesterday, in chat, you mentioned that it would be better to disassociate myself rather than be df'ed. Other than the personal satisfaction of being able to say I walked away, is there any other positive reason to do so?

  I really thank you for welcoming me. Just the little friendliness that you have extended to me has been enough to make me feel better.

  Thanks
• 

  dungbeetle

  heya yrs....welcome to the board and i hope to see more of you in chat.

  And thanks for sharing. It was heartwarming reading your experiences.
  Been there and done that...we are not alone!!!

  Dungbeetle...so much dung, so little time...
• 

  outnfree

  yrs2long,

  <<--me, blushing! (You can find the emoticons by clicking on the link underneath the message box on the Reply page. There is also a link for "Forum Code" which is how one puts quotes, bolds, etc. into one's messages.)

  Other than the personal satisfaction of being able to say I walked away, is there any other positive reason to do so?

  2long, my dear, it's ALL about the personal satisfaction! LOL
  It's the difference between them saying they don't want YOU and you making it clear to the elders and the other published that YOU don't want THEM! At least, that's how I felt, and why I went to the meeting at which my DA was announced. I sat down front and left with a huge smile on my face, chin up, triumphant when the announcement was made. (Shaking in my boots, LOTS of prayers for strength and courage throughout the entire meeting, but THEY didn't know that! )

  Anyway, I think my answer re: the DA vs. DF was IF the elders were closing in anyway. Also, I had no family to lose inside the Borg. If you have family, the whole picture changes, IMO.

  And I don't think I was answering you in particular on that one?
  Correct me if I'm wrong.

  Nice to have you here, 2long.

  outnfree

  Par dessus toutes choses, soyez bons. La bonte est ce qui ressemble le plus a Dieu et ce qui desarme le plus les hommes -- Lacordaire