I need some help....I don't understand

by confusedCatholic8 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • confusedCatholic8
    confusedCatholic8

    Hello all,

    I recently started dating a woman that has stopped practicing the religion of Jehovahs Witness. I am very confused on so many things that this religion believes. I would like some input from anyone out therer that can help me...I am a Catholic and I have certain things about my religion I don't believe but I dont understand the whole idea that if you leave the Jehovahs Witness and have been baptized you are no longer allowed to talk to your family and friends of this religion. Is this what God intended for us as human beings to not love anymore and to condemn another person for choosing not to follow this religion?

    I have alot of questions but those are for another day. I hope someone can help me.

  • badboy
    badboy

    WELCOME TO THE BOARD, CONFUSED CATHOLIC

  • What-A-Coincidence
    What-A-Coincidence

    Welcome. Join the boat. God/Jesus/Bible/Religion has brought on more confusion than anything else. Enjoy life.

  • blondie
    blondie

    First, welcome. Some of us are still JWs, but most of us no longer attend or participate.

    I dont understand the whole idea that if you leave the Jehovahs Witness and have been baptized you are no longer allowed to talk to your family and friends of this religion.

    Actually there is an official policy that when the "elders" decide that someone has committed a serious "sin" and is not repentant, they are disfellowshipped, shunned, viewed as if though they had died.

    In some cases JWs officially leave through verbal or written statement which is called "disassociating" yourself and once again all JWs will shun you.

    Some of us are "inactive" not attending meetings or turning in a "time slip" each month regarding "preaching." Then many of us are unofficially shunned.

    It is a means to control people. If you are dating someone who once was a JW and wishes they could get back in, you are facing a difficult situation. JWs are told not to marry non-JWs. You might be pressured by your loved one to get baptized as a JW.

    Read some more on here and put down some specific doctrinal questions and we can help you decide what you want to do.

    Rest assured that a mixed marriage religiously here will be very difficult.

    Blondie

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Most jehovah`s Witness`s have trouble understanding what they believe,as that can change in a heart beat..It`s no wonder you have trouble understanding what they believe...OUTLAW

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    First of all, the Watchtower society is quite exclusive and restrictive in it's practices. It does not authorize it's own discussion board on the 'net, for instance. This board is made up largely of disaffected and ex-witnesses, and a few like myself who was never a witness but who are married to one.

    I recently started dating a woman that has stopped practicing the religion of Jehovahs Witness.

    Would you date a woman who was recently divorced? Leaving the Witnesses is at least as traumatic. There's a lot of issues she is going to have to resolve. If you are one of those men that doesn't mind taking on a fixit, you have some work in front of you. I suggest you read such books as Steve Hassan's "Combatting Cult Mind Control" or Ray Franz's "Crisis of Conscience, to get an idea on what you are up against. AFTER getting some background, you can gradually ask your sweetheart to open up about what she believes. She SHOULD work out these issues before she gets involved with anyone.

    I dont understand the whole idea that if you leave the Jehovahs Witness and have been baptized you are no longer allowed to talk to your family and friends of this religion.

    Actually, the problem is her family and friends are not allowed to talk to HER. If she is still buying in to this silliness, she has some things to work through, as I've described in the paragraph above.

    Is this what God intended for us as human beings to not love anymore and to condemn another person for choosing not to follow this religion?

    Of course not! The JW's use such scriptures as the ones below to excuse this despicable behavior.

    1Cr 5:11 kjv But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

    Mat 10:35 kjv For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

    1 Peter 5:8 NIV Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour

    1Cr 15:33kjv Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

    1 Cor 15: 33 NWT Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits.

  • Paralipomenon
    Paralipomenon

    Welcome!

    That statement is somewhat true. When a baptized member leaves it is their JW family that is supposed to cut off association with non witness. They feel that they have the only true religion and if you are cut off from it completely (the shunning) you will come crawling back.

    I haven't seen any person that left that agreed with this teaching. It is to shelter witnesses and to block anyone that would dare question their beliefs.

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    Welcome to the board.......

    I agree with the other suggestions... Let us know more about you and spend some time reading others posts!!

    Good Luck with your fiance

    nj

  • confusedCatholic8
    confusedCatholic8

    Just to clarify the woman that I am dating is not wanting to go back to this religion nor does she want me to be apart of that religion. I am a Catholic and I am happy and enjoy my religion. She also has encouraged me to stay in my religion.She has been out of Jehovahs witness for quite a while and she is happy to be out of the religion but she is at a loss of losing family and friends that are apart of this religion.

  • DJK
    DJK

    Disassociation(shunning) doesn't seem like something a God would want people to do. The JWs practice it with vigor. If you should marry and have children, this is what you must expect, many on this board, myself and my five siblings have experienced this as well. Your inlaws will never send cards or gifts on holidays or attempt to visit you. Another thing I have experienced and watched others the same, this causes resentment with spouses of ex-JWs. Watch this board long enough and you will see what I mean.

    I don't suggest(dumping) ending a relationship. If she is handling it well, then you can too.

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